[-]oops! previous poster about juice fasts here. sent it too early.. so anyways, who has done juice fasts? Im currently doing one. Have done it before. Just need to reboot my system and clean up. Any good recipes for good combos? Also, how long have you done it for? would appreciate and experiences and advice!
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[-]whats the thoughts on the concern of the thermisol in the multi-dose vial for the n1n1 vac for dc's under 2yo? i know i know, sooo tired of h1n1, but it is still a very real issue. the nasal mist has not thermisol, but there are two forms of the shot (multi-dose vial, and single dose) the multi has some in it. im concerned but not sure HOW concerned to be IF in fact that was to be the version our ped got. any experience with the single dose vs multi dose?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Initially, people thought that thimerosal might cause autism b/c the number of vaccines required which contained themierosal was increasing along with the autism rate. After removing it from vaccines, the autism rates continued to increase, however, and nobody has been able to find any causal links between the two despite intense study. It was a case of correlation not being the same as causation. There is really no reason to worry about it!
[ Reply | Options ]np: elevated mercury levels is a very real concern. and i know several people who've had this due to excessive fish consumption. why we doubt that injecting it into babies might also be harmful, is beyond me. now whether the amount in 1 vaccine is enough to cause a problem, maybe not. but some babies used to get several mercury containing vaccines on 1 day and then more a couple of months later and then even more a couple of months after that. when these babies weighed less than 20 lbs.
[ Reply | Options ]Actual amount of mercury in the shots w/ themerisol is very, very low, though. I think the high range of mercury in shots is about the same as one can of tuna.
[ Reply | Options ]np: actually, I think it may be less, and it takes much less time to leave the system than does mercury from fish. (not that I'm thrilled about it, but it does put it into perspective.)
[ Reply | Options ]Thimerosal contains ethyl mercury while food such as tuna contains methyl mercury. The body processes different types of mercury in different ways. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s safe exposure guidelines for mercury are based on exposure to methyl mercury. The danger with methyl mercury is that exposure to it is typically sustained over a long period time, hence a toxic buildup can occur. Children's shots, which by and large don't contain any mercury anymore, are given months apart.
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You won't find much useful information here. People get far too excited about this to have a rational discussion. Go to the CDC website for a rational approach to this topic.
[ Reply | Options ]i went to CDC last night and really DUG for information. found what I was looking for. My 7 1/2 month old got the h1n1 vaccine today. Such a relief. I was on the fence and then my dh and I thought a) we got her the seasonal flu, why not this one? and b) there are SOO many people around the city and counrty that are desperately tryin to find the vaccine, how could we so carelessly turn it down? We know we got lucky. I feel like I can relax a bit!
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[-]Okay so I am the poster with the biological father dying of probable murder... Just found out hubby needs surgery that will keep him from using his arm for 6 months.. that means mom is on CONSTANT baby duty for 6 months, in addition to starting my own branch of a business and had a serious set back/let down today. Mommys, how do you cope with being stretched so thin. I normally would have a glass of wine, dont want to turn to alcohol.
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Seriously - my friends get me through. Having two women who have known me for the last 15 years and have been to hell and back with me. Having someone who is willing to listen to you vent, let you bounce the craziest ideas off of them and will just let you sit on their couch and cry when you need to makes the biggest difference (also having them do childcare sometimes helps too). I hope you have someone like this in your life - you need friends like them and everyone, particularly you, absolutely deserve them. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]OMG... you poor dear!! they say that bad things happen in threes but you seem to be getting a six-pack! I'm so, so sorry... wish I had some great epiphany-type advice for you but there really are no quick fixes to some situations. Maybe don't try to confront all your challenges in simultaneously and in their entirety. Approach each one in smaller increments that you know you can handle at the moment and once you've done that, put another goal in front of yourself. Basically, be aware of the bigger game plan but keep chipping at it in easily achievable bits. BTW - even if your husband's (one?) arm is out of commish for 6 months, that should not prevent him from helping you do a lot of childcare. Best of luck to you and keep the faith ...
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[-]So my biological father is dying of what will probably be ruled a murder. He was a troubled man that lead a troubled life. Very hurtful towards my mother, myself, his 2nd wife, their kids, for many years- physically, emotionally, verbally. Involved in drugs, drinking, you name it. I was adopted by my stepdad who is a wonderful father and has been for most of my life. Why am I sad? My biological father was never even a dad to me. I feel very confused, strange and kind of like 'what the h**l am I supposed to do with this?'
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Because it won't be made right. He'll be gone, and it will be cemented in reality. I know what I'm talking about here, and I'm really sorry for you.
[ Reply | Options ]by made right, you mean, he never was the father he should have been and now never will be? If thats what you mean, then yes, you're totally right. I always kind of felt that one day we would talk. not have a father/daughter relationship, but talk. Ask questions, get answers. Nope. My poor mother is still terrified of him. Been about 20 yrs. still has nightmares, still fears for herself and family sometimes. I think she is relieved. Im confused, sad, sad mostly for his children... 21, 19, 11, but also b/c as horrible of a man as he was, he was someones something, someones daddy and he didnt deserve to go out like this.
[ Reply | Options ]I think those of us who have a parent who cannot live up to the parent role (and in my case it is my mom)-- we have a tendency to try to shape the relationship into what society expects it to be. I have finally given up on mine. My mom made NASTY comments at my wedding (to dh, told him he was "getting a bad deal"), she put through a divorce to my dad weeks before our big wedding, although she had been talking (incessantly) about getting the divorce without taking action for 10 yrs. When my first db was born with a birth defect, she told me it would have been better if db had died during the (v difficult) delivery. I opened the door to many of the contacts and invited her in, and her response was always some form of psychological sabotage. I...
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It's still a loss. Perhaps a loss of what could have been, not what was/is. You probably had fantasies (in an innocent sense) about your biological Dad for many years when he was not with you. Perhaps some of them involved a normal healthy relationship with him. Now that fantasy has become reality and tells you that will never be. Therapy helps.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm not sure therapy helps, actually. Having a great step dad probably helps more than therapy.Aiming for healthier relationships now with other people helps. Avoid any therapies where you are tempted to hash over what went wrong with relationship with biological father.
[ Reply | Options ]op here: have done therapy. it did help, but i got out of it all that i could. now its just a matter of moving on. the sad part of this all, speaking to the first response post, is that my mother is just like yours. I really got the short end with both of my parents, but my step father really is my dad. I feel like I am betraying my dad a bit by being sad that my biological father is dying. (he is currently still alive, but in a deep coma.) The fantasy thing about wonder what could have been one day is 100% true. While i never wanted/expected a father/daughter relationship with him, he is my blood and some kind of contact would have been great. I, also, have a wonderful, loving dh and a precious baby girl. My life is great and I am thankful...
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think you are grieving for what you didn't have with this father. It sounds totally normal to be sad for what you lost while he was living his crazy life. Be easy on yourself and just go with it.
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[-]Any LA Moms on? I need a recommendation for mommy groups in Silverlake. I'm in NYC and trying to help out best friend who just had first. Her DD is 3.5 mons and she's very lonely. Trying to get her out of the house. Please help. TIA!
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Ask her to check out CityMommy.com. They are ALL moms, mostly with babies and smaller kids. I like to read what's going on but I have a 10 year old, so the scene's a little different. UB is my kind of site, but she will probably like CM - very nice and nurturing types. They have tons and tons of groups - to suit all kinds of mommies all over the greater LA areas.
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We're at the First School in Santa Monica. It's wonderful. Sensitive to the individual needs of the kids, but definitely pushing them to grow and explore. We're very happy with it.
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[-]help...am doing thanksgiving turkey this year.am panicking. did very poorly 4 years ago and avoided since...cannot buy pre done bcs we are doing a week early. where is best and easiest recipe?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I never use a recipe. Just make sure you remove the bag of innards. Truss (I'm sure there's a video online) and baste with white wine and butter (throw some herbs into the pot). Roast at 325 until thermometer reaches 170. Alternatively, roast turkey breasts (very easy).
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Maybe every half an hour? Not a big deal, but helps make more gravy. Just dump some wine in a small pot with a stick of butter and herbs (which don't need to be chopped or anything, just washed) Oh, and for the first hour or so, cover the breast with foil so that it doesn't brown too much too quickly.
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I always make a perfect turkey: Make a butter/herb mix (can do in advance). Rinse turkey (defrosted if frozen). If you have the space in fridge or cooler, brine turkey overnight in water/kosher salt solution. Drain/pat dry. Rub butter mix between meat and skin to as many places as you can reach (detach skin as needed). Rub some butter (or butter mix) on top of skin also. Sprinkle with nutmeg (helps turkey brown). Place turkey in roasting pan on roasting rack, legs trussed. Ten the turkey with a brown paper bag that has been oiled (spray oil) and cut open to fit in oven over turkey. Roast at 325 until thermometer reaches 165. To make gravy, place some chicken stock in the roasting pan, towards the end drain stock and juices to use ...
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I just don't understand the stress about turkey.Unless it's blackened or raw, it's always good--if it's dry then hey--that's what all that nummy gravy of for. And there are so many distracting side dishes. Don't worry! In any case, Gourmet, Saveur, F&W always have turkey recipes in their November issue, so fear not. Cook's Illustrated is always good too.
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[-]What are people's experiences with mice? We just killed one and Im so upset! I know they are so unsanitary, but no one really wants to kill anything! Weve tried everything! Glue traps, snap traps, the little discs that they go into and it snaps closed. Ive heard of the noise makers that you plug in, but how could those work? Also, does having a cat really keep them away? We have a small baby and I am at my end! We live in a clean apt in a pretty pre-war walkup, HELP!
53 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]The ONLY thing that works is to search for any holes around the house and seal them (behind kitchen appliances, radiators, around washing machine, every possible place) We've had problems and used everything and that was really the only thing that worked. Trust me. We've also caught mice on glue traps and my husband took it to the park and set them free with oil.
[ Reply | Options ]We had a problem when they were doing work in our apt. They would come and go but it wasn't until dh found the hole that we ended the problem.
[ Reply | Options ]Get a cat. We used to see occasional mice in our pre-war, but got at cat 2 years ago. The mice don't dare enter!!! Suggestion... go to a shelter and find a nice adult cat that's been declawed by the previous owner. Since you live in an apt and the cat will be an indoor cat with no natural predators, it will be fine and so will your baby!
[ Reply | Options ]^^^ BTW... it's not "politically correct" to declaw cats, so if the idea of adopting one appeals to you, just matter of factly point out that you live in an apt and kitty will be strictly an indoor cat. 'nuf said.
[ Reply | Options ]Declawing the cat is not the same thing as clipping their fingernails, it's the equivalent of cutting off one's fingers at the knuckle. I considered it when I adopted my cat, but opted against it after doing the research.
[ Reply | Options ]well, you can't blame a homeless kitty for having no claws (I think it's nuts to declaw a cat, btw) but I don't understand how a cat without claws can even kill a mouse. eeeww.
[ Reply | Options ]I declawed both of my cats when they were kittens. It was either that or the shelter would have killed them. I think they live a pretty darn nice life without their claws.
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That is such crap. The "no-kill" shelters are the ones that just take the most adoptable animals, leaving the three legged pit bulls and the rabid ferals to the "kill" shelters who have to make the tougher calls. And ALL of the shelters are wildly overburdened, esp. with cats. I just don't think it's fair to divvy them up into "kill" and "no-kill."
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Well, obviously if a previous owner declawed the cats, then the deed is done. I am saying that you don't need to declaw cats without at least giving them a shot at living with them.
[ Reply | Options ]For us, it was either declaw the cats or they wouldn't get adopted by us (and therefore killed by the shelter). I think a pampered life without claws (no predators, clean and warm home, food and water aplenty without need for hunting and scavenging) would be preferable to no life at all.
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You should notlive with vermin in your house -Seal every hole with steel wool packed as tightly as you can, pay special attention to where pipes come in and behind cabinets, mice can slip through incredibly small holes. Set traps inside the house along baseboards - put peanut butter on the spring trigger, but trapping alone will not work as they reproduce so quickly. Noise makers are useless, glue traps are actually worse if you want a humane death - would you rather have your neck swiftly broken or would you rather die of starvation, exhaustion or asphixiation while you struggle in a vat of glue? well probably neither... but refer back to my original point
[ Reply | Options ]We had this problem years ago in our old place. At one point DH caught 17 mice in glue traps in a week! THe problem was not resolved until we put out DCON. We didn;t have dcs at the time, so didn;t have to worry about anyone getting into the poison though. Can you go away for a week and do it? Live with grandparents? A friend? A hotel?
[ Reply | Options ]i have no objection to animals running free, just not in my house. any animal caught in the house (uninvited) gets labeled as vermin, and there's a no trespassing under penalty of death invoked. i love cats and have one, but don't get one if you want a mouser - it may not be one, and if it is one, you may get mouse corpses in your bed for your troubles. just kill them and seal up the holes.
[ Reply | Options ]We plugged up all our holes but then I think the mouse was stuck. Eventually we just put down a snap trap. In the end I couldn't bear the thought of a mouse dying a slow death on a glue trap or the reality of releasing a live mouse on the street.
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erm...they used to use them at a restaurant I worked at (in the basement not the kitchen!) and the mice could live for ages pinned down in the glue. It was horrible. I could never use one.
[ Reply | Options ]i don't want vermin in my house, so by any means necessary has become my motto.'
[ Reply | Options ]I'm dealing with them right now too so I'm not judging--all of my Beatrix Potter instincts go out the window when I find poop on the counters--but I just couldn't do it personally. Whereas I have less issue with borrowing a cat to come in and savage them. Hypocritical and irrational, I know.
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OR i have one of those too...luckily the other guy is still going strong but getting slower thats for sure..;)
[ Reply | Options ]call an exterminator and have them seal up your apt. will cost about 2000 for a small 2 bedroom-- more and more if ur house is bigger. worth every penny. ask if they can guarantee their work for a year- if the prob comes back they reseal for free. some companies offer this. you cant do it nearly as well yourself and neither can your super if he's nice enough to offer.
[ Reply | Options ]EXTERMINATORS: Complete waste of time and money. Our landlord sent exterminators (2 diff companies at different apartments) and they come, act all professional, set steel wool in possible holes, set glue and poison traps all over the house and leave. The mice are back in no time. The only way we got rid of them was to find the holes ourselves. Both times we had mice, there was construction work a few apts away.
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Just trap them in a corner with another person to help you out. Put it in a container =)) and pour hot water inside. Cats can help but I wouldn't count too much on it too coz sometimes the mouse can be too big
[ Reply | Options ]Like people above said, you HAVE to find the holes....check along the base of your kitchen cabinets...get down and feel all along the base of them and look up where each cabinet meets (when you look inside a cabinet, where you see the 'wall' on the side that is where that cabinet ends.....look up and under at that spot, there may be a little hole that you can't see unless you feel for it. You have to seal all those up, plus make sure your outside doors don't have any gaps and also no gaps around radiator pipes. You'll know they are in your cabinets if you find mouse poop under your kitchen sink. They usually don't seal the walls before installing cabinets. In the kitchen you should make sure you seal off any exit from behind the cabin...
[ Reply | Options ]^^oh and as poster above said, dcon works but more will just keep coming. We finally had our apt sealed up sooo well that there were 6 mice trapped inside. They would hide during the day in closets or behind appliances and come out at night. We had to put long lines of glue traps at certain spots we knew they would cross and eventually caught them all. By this point I didn't give a crap about them suffering. Finding mouse shit in my dc's lunchbox one morning was the last straw for me.
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I once had a RAT problem in a country house (no not the Hamptons) and the only thing that worked in the end was poison. We put it under the sink where they were getting in. Since you have a DC, the second best thing would be a cat. I hate them personally, but our DD has become very attached to the one we have which is another benefit.
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[-]what does 'dd, dh, dc," and all the rest of them stand for?
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[-]decorator moms: help! blanking on name of floor tiles... not terracotta, but looks very similar. could be italian or spanish, not mexican like terracotta. found company in connecticut that imp0rts, now blanking!
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Doesn't look like terracotta, but sounds like it - is what you're thinking of Travertine? I always hear that mentioned on HGTV.
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op: no, but these came up in a search that i did for italian tile, spanish tile. i'm losing my mind. it was in a house we looked at, and i instantly knew name, found the company who sells, didn't realize they were so special and not available at say, cancos tile. i knew the name! couldnt have been THAT obscure because i'm no tile expert. blah!
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I have to rant about my son's private preschool....not only are we hit up for $$ at every turn, and pay a mint for really not many hours there (14 per week, to be exact!), but now some of the moms at the school have a "pet" do-gooder project that they are into, and they seemingly require everyone to donate to it! It's a perfectly reasonable thing to donate to, but what I take issue with is, what if A: I can afford to donate to anything right now, and B: what if I have other things I give to? I'm really hating this preschool, for a number of reasons aside from the huge price tag, the lack of hours and the guru-esque quality of the owner, but it's supposedly a "fabulous" preschool, and can insure that my son will get into something later. Oh,...
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[-]yesterday my dh was very distant and after I made and we ate dinner, he INSISTED on doing the dishes. prior to him insisting, he was holding our baby for about 10 mins since coming home and then passed her onto me saying 'have to walk the dog' then sat on the comp. I made a half serious comment about 'daddy gave you to me b/c hes going to do the dishes for mommy b/c she cooked' and then he freaked and insisted on doing them. He made a comment about 'he wishes I would do more around the house during the day.' I feel like my day is already so full of baby food,bottles, books, changing diapers, toys, moping, dusting, etc., AND trying to to my own work (dont have too too much, but some) I was horribly insulted. I really do try to keep up, but i...
32 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]The bigger question is what is going on with your dh outside the home? Did he get bad news at work? Affair? Friend/Family troubles? Sounds like he has his own problems and can not see a solution, so makes himself feel better by micro managing you.
[ Reply | Options ]as far as I know, no troubles. Dh and I have great communication for the most part. I dont think he's micromanaging, think he was hoping for more of an 'Apron wearing, smiley, stepford wife' type and I am thrilled to stay home with our little one, but am by no means like that. (just to clarify, my mother is the 'martha stewart' type and I think its great, just not me. to each their own.) I seriously doubt he is venturing out with another woman or anything like that. Im not concerned with that. Just really feeling sub-par.
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Normal stress of dealing with an infant IME. Blow it off, both of you, and realize that the first year pp is really rough on a marriage. It gets better.
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I have told my dh (awhile ago) that my job is SAHM mom. I am not a SAH maid. My job is to take care of our dd. My dh understands this and our housework is 50/50 because the only thing important to both of us, is our dd. We both take turns watching dd while the other cooks or cleans, and yes this is after he works 8 hours. if I have to work 12 hours and he only has to work 8, the least he can do is help out.
[ Reply | Options ]THANK YOU! I am a stay at home mom, not a maid. If i have asome time when the baby is napping, I will do stuff, but I will not leave her just hang out so I can clean and such. Our daughter is my 'job' (the best 'job' ever) and I dont get a break at 3am when she wakes up for a bottle, or at 6am, or from 8am-6pm when its just us.
[ Reply | Options ]EXACTLY my point!!! I had to make it known to my dh so he understood that and it worked. I will not plop my dd in front of the TV so I can do the dishes. I never get a break and dd is very active so I prefer to be with her instead of leaving her alone all day to clean the house. It has always been 50/50 b/c he understands the importance of being with dd, not spending the whole day cleaning so he can come home and do nothing.
[ Reply | Options ]You know how lucky you are that you established that long ago? My husband definitely has the mindset 'I work all day, I should be able to come home and relax' and I agree. But damnit I work all day too!! lol When is my time to relax?
[ Reply | Options ]EXACTLY again. I told him that he works at a sit down job for 8 hours but I am on my feet for 12 hours. I worked longer and harder for no pay so I expect him to help out. Being equal actually creates a better environment for kids b/c mom isn't so busy all day she can't take care of them and they learn about how a marriage should be, compromising and teamwork. I always hope my dd will know better when she gets married and not marry someone who won't help take care of stuff. That's all part of life. No reason why he can't lift a finger to help.
[ Reply | Options ]If you schedule your day properly, you'll relax after dinner with your husband, after the kids are put to bed.
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I don't get it. He insisted on doing the dishes before or after you made the comment? DH usually walks the dog while I put DB to sleep, and if I'm done early I'll do the dishes and he's done early (because it's raining or whatever) he'll do them. You just have to take turns.
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you both need to chill. Talk this over at some time when it isn't confrontational. He was offended by your comment and then you were offended back. That's a lose-lose situation.
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First of all you both need to STOP "making comments," especially through your dd. You say you have good communication, but who are you really talking to? I agree with posters about your passive-aggressive behavior, maybe he found this "horribly" insulting. You made a p/a comment, he did the dishes (which is what you wanted), and then you are horribly insulted.... This could become a damaging cycle. You both need to sit down and talk to one another about communication, dividing household work, and expectations. And YOU need to step back and see how what you say and do instigates behavior in your husband.
[ Reply | Options ]Hey I agree that both your hubby and you are working full-time, however, if baby is taking a long nap, i am not going to just leave the pile of dishes there just to make sure things stay exactly '50/50'; I am just going to do them because I had the time. What matters more to me is that both of us are trying to make things easier for the other person, not that we are keeping exact score.
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[-]Have to lose about 30 pounds. 5'6"- 155 pounds. still carrying old baby weight. cannot join a gym or do yoga, b/c on the UES it cost way too much for our 'trying-to-save' budget right now. I've always been very thin and I am worried my husband doesn't look at me the same. Also, I'm having a bit of a complex b/c my husband likes for me to wear my hair natural (a mousey dark blonde color) but I LOVE to wear it short and super blonde. He never dated anyone else blonde or is ever attracted to blondes. I know hes NOT a fan of the super blonde, but never said anything too bad. should I change it?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Maybe find an in-between that makes you feel attractive but is a little more natural re: haircolor. Re: weight, every man I know loves some extra curves. It doesn't sound like you're hugely overweight. I'd stop worrying about pleasing dh, try to make time for some brisk walks, and do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself as you are.
[ Reply | Options ]wear your hair the way you like it. Do Atkins. It costs very little (you need to buy some food you might not otherwise purchase for a week or two,) and it helped me lose my baby weight 3 times, when exercise didn't make a dent.
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Find some good yoga videos and do it at home or run/walk in Central Park. As for your hair - it's your head, you are the one who needs to be happy with it - if you want short & blonde, then make it short & blonde. Don't worry about what DH thinks - it sounds like he's a good DH and he just wants you happy (which is why he'll honestly tell you his preference, but will not criticize if you do what you want instead).
[ Reply | Options ]take up running - its free and you have at least a month until it really gets too cold. As for your hair, thats not really something a stranger can advise you about. It sounds though like you feel really bad about yourself right now. You should try to do something to make yourself feel better about yourself - confidence goes a long way with the DHs
[ Reply | Options ]Play a game with your husband. Tell him you are considering a new hairstyle though not promising anything. Buy a whole bunch of magazines, grab some catalogs, pick up those free magazines. Tell you husband to tear out 6 pictures of hairstyles he thinks would look great on you and you'll tear out 6. Compare, have a good laugh, and then maybe come to a compromise. Make it fun. You'll be surprised by the fact that you'll end up picking out similar styles. My husband and I did this.
[ Reply | Options ]Do you seriously care what your husband thinks of your hairstyle and color? What are you, 22? Time to grow up and make your own decisions about such things.
[ Reply | Options ]wow. aggressive much? and no not 22. obviously I have made my own decisions about it based upon the fact that I said I currently wear it the way I like it, but I DO like to please my husband and am just getting other ladies' opinions on the matter. thanks for your useless input, though. not to sound '22' or anything, but say something to help the issue or just dont say anything.
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I think women should wear their hair in a way that supports their self-esteem. If you want to lose weight, cut back on the calories and get on the floor in front of the tv to exercise while baby is napping. I've used Slim Fast with great success. If you stick with regular foods, make sure you take some vitamins. GL
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