[-]Holiday card ? - Currently expecting #2 and want a pic of whole family (DS, DH, me w/belly) or DS and belly only. Is this tacky? Is it weird to put the baby's name in the sig line as well with & "name" expected x/2010? I am thinking some of the recipients may not know and it would be cute. Is it annoying? Bad karma?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]If it were me I'd opt for keeping it simple. Family photo: the blank family, the three of your names and maybe a cute reference like (john, mary, tommy and...). Wouldn't put real name - superstitious.
[ Reply | Options ]I think it's too cutesy and not my style to put a belly pic. I think the baby expected is okay if you aren't superstitious, but not a pic of your stomach alone.
[ Reply | Options ]That would bother me...personally, I wouldn't do it, but you called it, I'm superstitious. I never told anyone the name we picked out. I didn't buy anything for the house ahead of time. I didn't tell people i was pregnant until 20 weeks. So I'd have a hard time putting a photo and signing a card before it was a real human outside of my body.
[ Reply | Options ]either one of the whole family or just ds. NOT DS AND BELLY. totally ridiculous imo.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: I knew there would be two camps on this. The name is public knowledge already among friends and family, as it was with DS. Will probably leave it off based on this feedback. Maybe whole family, but with DS leaning on or touching belly...it is so cute how much he already interacts with her. We'll take tons of pics and just see what works out. My gut feeling that it was weird to some, though not to me, seems to have been correct. Thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]I find that odd. We have 2 dcs and I'm expecting a third. Wouldn't even occur to me to reference #3 in this year's card, and we're just going with a pic of dcs 1 and 2. You can't wait until 2010?
[ Reply | Options ]OP: I don't know, we usually send family photo, and with me looking a lot rounder than usually it seemed odd not to mention it. I guess I could just do the normal family pic and sign "DH, me and soon-to-be big brother DS" I hope nobody here is on my list because you will know it was me then! LOL.
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I would do a picture of the whole family and sign it with 'the whatever family' - I hate to say this, but what if something ever happened and then you would have that card of your belly and ds to look at? Go for the full, happy, growing family. You could maybe say something like 'Happy holidays from our growing family' if you really want to include your pregnancy.
[ Reply | Options ]I think the opposite. My SIL lost a baby during labor (full term, medical mistakes) and she loves any memento of that time. I also have a lot of pictures of her pregnancy and that baby at the hospital as well. I figure, if the baby ends up having a short or no life outside the womb, celebrate the life he/she did have and the happiness that came with it while expecting.
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Last year SIL had her pregnancy picture as her christmas card. There was no way I was putting her big swollen naked belly up on my fridge, it went straight into the trash. I think its fine if you do a family one where you can see your belly as well, but please wear clothes.
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[-]What is a good jeans maker for a 40 yrs old mother of 3. I have a pettite frame not in great shape, 5'4 126lbs... the gap stuff is no longer working for me. I want to invest in a good pair of jeans..
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I just bought a pair on a whim at Target and they look great. I spent $20.00 and I'm getting tons of compliments.
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I am exactly you (except I'm 43)... my go to jeans are Joe Jeans, Honey cut. They fit well so consistently that I buy them online. Normal retail can be up to $180ish but have bought them discounted from Bluefly for $70.
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[-]We get to take the classroom hamster home for Thanksgiving break! I love having a kid because it gives me more excused to act like one. (Yes, I know, take it to effin' BabyCenter.)
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[-]We have an absolutely wonderful nanny who has been with us for 11 years, from the time our twin boys were 3. The boys are now in high school (both on honor roll) and quite self-reliant -- in large part due to our nanny, Debrah. The time has come for her to move on to another family and we want to help her in any way we can. She is an absolute find -- caring, intelligent (she has a couple years of college), outgoing, respectful, hard-working, reliable and with that sixth sense about child rearing. We will give her fantastic references. She will work in Brooklyn, Manhattan or Long Island. My question is this: is anyone interested in talking about hiring her or does anyone know the best places online and offline to help with her search? Thanks...
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]babybitesnyc.com is a good place for employers to list their nannies. You're only allowed to list if you will give great reference, so they're prescreened if they are listed on there. You don't get to list anything but vital stats (name, phone, location, etc.) but I've listed mine there and gotten several calls. You can tell the callers all this stuff when they call you.
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[-]Been having a hell of a time getting our 2 (almost 3) yr old to stay in bed (she's had the toddler bed for 3 weeks now). She's supposed to be taking a nap, but I hear her playing in her room. I'm glad though that she hasn't come out into the hall-- should I bother her and make her sleep, or let her play quietly in there?
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[-]would like to go for breakfast coffee with a girlfriend, any nice place, UES from 75 to 85?
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[-]anyone feel like they are in a good marriage, like a good partnership, but it has no passion, no real love, but a strong friendship...
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[-]I've heard that Ronnie Moskowitz (founder of Washington Market) does not have a formal background in education. What's her background? College degree?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I don't know anything about that school, but I don't find it unusual at all. Many schools are started by parents out of need.
[ Reply | Options ]Started by, sure. But running an established school becomes a much bigger deal -- decisions like which children are developing normally vs. which need evaluation, who learns best in what settings, who would thrive at which school down the road, etc. No?
[ Reply | Options ]ted turner, bill gates and tom brokaw. none graduated from college, all excellent at their jobs.
[ Reply | Options ]Not at all, there are operational functions that any good manager/project manager should be able to navigate. I imagine that a huge percentage of a HOS job is fundraising and schmoozing neither of which a teaching degree prepares one for. I don't think HOS spends much time with IEPs they have to know how to hire good people and keep those people happy (or at least marginally so).
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[-]Office is doing Toys for Tots drive--any ideas? Was thinking Melissa & Doug large block set but maybe I am thinking too young?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Toys for Tots is for all ages so there's no such thing as too young. I'd get something indistructable so that hopefully the kids that get it can pass it on to younger siblings or neighbors.
[ Reply | Options ]Toys for Tots is for all DCs, so it's not "too young", but they do tend to get a lot more stuff for preschool aged DCs than they do for older DCs. Also, is some cases the DCs are homeless, they need to be able to carry it with them, so weight can be a factor too. I usually give art supplies for older DCs - sketchbooks/pencils/pastels; portable easels, etc.
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[-]i know this is a funny question, but... db is 2.5 weeks old and of course she sleeps all the time. i just don't remember my first sleeping this much during the day. this almost seems too easy? should i wake her? or just to feed her? i feel like i'm neglecting her. she's sleeping well at night - going 2.5 or 3 hour stretches, which i think is decent for a breastfed baby. so let her sleep right?
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[-]I just spoke with an old boss of mine to reconnect for future reference. I have lost my career mojo and don't know how to get it back. Have been home for under a year now with the kids after getting laid off. Feel so lost. Don't want to go back to old career, don't know how to find new one. Have looked into career counseling but the real issue is I have no confidence in myself anymore. I couldn't even sound confident to this old boss. I am sure she was thinking, 'oh my god, what has happened to her?' She has no kids, so she probably chalked it up to being a mother. But that isn't it -- it feels like a kind of mid-life crises (at late 30s). I feel overwhelmed, and it affects my kids on the days that they feel like a burden to me. I love ...
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]What helped me was my first interview. I didn't even know if I was interested in the position but thought I'd go as a practice interview. I was nervous but once I started talking I felt like a grown up again. Maybe you could get a friend to set something up with their co-worker even if there's no real job. Putting on the right clothes, make up, and engaging in work talk made me feel like I had something worthwhile to give. If you can get that feeling back you'll be in a better place to decide what you want to do.
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[-]Does anyone else's child NOT have playdates? I woh f/t and have 2 dcs. weekends tend to be family time and if we do playdates it's with friends that dh and i want to catch up with. My younger dc who is in preschool is begging for playdates which is just hard - have an after school babysitter but also older dc would have to tag along...and I don't know when else to fit this in but i feel guilty. Someone tell me I am not the only one.
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I think play dates are important for developing more intimate relationships and a chance to socialize one-on-one.
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I work until 1 or 2 and then pick kids up at school and either have a friend dropped off with me or drop one of mine off- or have other parent pick up mine and hers and then go pick up at about 5.
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I don't think you have anything to worry about. They get lots of socialization at school. I was in a similar situation as you and my kids who are now a bit older are social and form great friendships.
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when I was a kid i just played with my brothers. Now have an only child now and i thought that daycare (before she was in school), then school and now that she is older, after school activities she had plenty of social interaction. i guess you need to do playdates if you dont get out of the house much. certainly play & solcial interaction is important; glad i never had to run my schedule around setting up play appointments though.
[ Reply | Options ]not to make too big a deal out of this, but an arranged playtime with a special friend is different from "social interaction" with random dcs you meet out and about or in the context of some other activity, like afterschool. in this day and age, setting up play appointments is sort of part of the deal of being a parent.
[ Reply | Options ]agree. but i think it can get out of hand when a child's every day is scheduled with playdates and not just "play". not to flame, but i think a lot of playdates are sought in an effort for the mother to gain access to certain social circles, not necessarily who the child would choose for their date. My point is that too much importance can be placed on the playdate. It can seem like there is a competition for certain friendships.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't do playdates because I think it is more important for my children to bond with each other than any other children. I have a 7yo boy and 5yo girl. They play with others randomly at the playground but at home, it has been lovely watching their play develop from bickering to setting up a store to inventing games and building forts in the living room. They both beg for playdates, they get them at birthday parties and a few times a month. School and school events give them more time with peers. They are both very social and leaders in their classes. I've forced them to deal effectively with difficult differences and it shows in their interactions with friends of all ages. I value the relationship my kids have with each other above f...
[ Reply | Options ]But don't you think seeing little friends is important as well, but in a different way? I know a lot of families who feel as you do and it just seems like something is missing from the kids' lives...even if they do get along well. It kind of is a normal thing to have non family playmates, isn't it? I would see it as enriching the sibling relationship, to have other personalities and experiences. I know I need to interact with a variety of different people.
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isn't younger dc out of preschool before older dc is out of school? or could nanny arrange dropoff playdates for older dc and take younger one on playdates herself? make this the nanny's problem. also, i think it's a little selfish of you to make your weekend socializing all about you and dh.
[ Reply | Options ]while i don't think that playdates are the end all be all, i also think that it is a legitimate request from your dc. clearly he or she really wants to spend some more time with preschool friends. I think that once a week your sitter can handle a playdate. Most preschool kids either have a babysitter or a SAHM who can bring the kid to your house and your older dc can either go home with a friend sometimes or bring a friend over sometimes. I can't udnerstand why this is so hard.
[ Reply | Options ]i am in similar situation. Have found it works well with other siblings (eg. sets of kids the same age). Also, many people in NY have babysitters, so email moms and ask if your babysitter can arrange a playdate with theirs. Host first, then most will not mind your other dc tagging along if your babysitter has them under control. Or, try to sign older DC up for a drop off program and do playdates with the younger one around then.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't understand the problem. I have a preschooler and an elementary school aged child. I WOH f/t and have a baby sitter with the kids in the afternoon. They both have plenty of play dates. My older child's play dates are drop off, so she goes home with a friend or the friend comes home with her and our baby sitter. With the younger child, the baby sitters both stay. If it doesn't work out that older child is at someone else's house when younger child has a play date, older child comes or they all play at our apartment. Both of my kids have always played with one another's friends.
[ Reply | Options ]MY Step DD who is 8 doesn't have playdates. Her mother works and she goes into after care after school. I feel it has really hurt her socially. She has no close friends, does not get invited to parties etc...
[ Reply | Options ]i good nanny should set up these playdates for you--i think more than needing it, preschoolers like having playdates. or you could always arrange them yourself and then send your sitter or host them at your house. i dont think being a wohm is a good excuse and most of these responses sound self righteous. are playdates critical, no, but kids enjoy them and it's good for them.
[ Reply | Options ]i think you've got to do the playdates. i work f/t too (and so does dh), so i understand where you are coming from. we just try to make playdates as easy as possible, and usually do them with other woh parents (most of the parents i know work full time). we'll take turns dropping off for a weekend afternoon, take another kid along to the zoo or museum, whatever. also, do you live in an apartment? if there are kids in your building that you could help dc connect with it is SO much easier. our ds plays with other kids from the building everyday.
[ Reply | Options ]My DC rarely have playdates. DH is a SAHD, which makes the whole thing a little difficult. (I wonder how many of the ladies going on above about how essential playdates are would actually schedule one with their DC's BFF if he/she had a SAHD.) I'm not all that concerned about it. They play a lot with each other (they're less than 2 years apart), have cousins close in age that they play with one-on-one, play with friends on the playground after school and a lot of stuff like that.
[ Reply | Options ]I view playdates as part of life - I like opening up my home to friends and I expect DCs do as well. You can manage it if you work, just a different schedule. Friends are part of life especially for children. I think it is important to learn how to be a good host and to deal with different people outside the family.
[ Reply | Options ]I was you last year, and now I accept invitations and then reciprocate, but I don't seek them out. I have to say it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be to get into the rotation and reciprocate, I leave work a little early or work from home that day and finish early, then pick them both up and take them somewhere or bring them home. I do this about once a month and it is manageable, and I do see that ds is learning something from it, how to be a good host, have a friend one on one, do what someone else wants to do, offer a snack, etc. He is in aftercare and that is very social too, the kids there have lots of friends- it is a different kind of socializing though.
[ Reply | Options ]Do what's right for you family but playdates one-on-one are different then just being at school and are important for social development and conflict resolution. Of course if they have a sibling and parents they are probably getting that at home on the weekends anyway! But I'd try to get one in every now and then.
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