[-]my husband hung up on me today and won't answer my calls. it feels awful. my day feels awful
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[-]Anyone purchase anythign from Bassett furniture? Just found the website and it seems really nice?!
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[-]Would you take a job that paid significantly (30%) less than your previous position? I've been out of the work force for a year but I'm not desperate for work since my husband is employed. I'm worried that if I take it I'll never get a job at the old level again.
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[-]Do you think it really makes any difference if you interview with the DOA, let's say at HM, collegiate, or someone else??
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[-]Thought Zhu Zhu pets were a cute gift for my daughter but can't find them now and wondering are they REALLY worth all the insanity of trying to find them?!
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[-]I need to start over. I'll stay married, continue raising my child but I need another job so that I can save money to buy the things I'd like to have. I already work 37.5 hours a week. I feel as though I need to make more money before I have to retire. I only have about 10 more years of being able to work, I think. What are you all doing for that extra money? Nothing? Your husband makes enough?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I don't feel compelled to earn extra money "to buy the things I'd like to have." That is not to say that I'm already able to do so with what I earn (because I'm not) but buying things is just not that important to me.
[ Reply | Options ]and what if you were 59 and still haven't ever been able to buy your own dining room furniture or bedroom set or china or a new car or own a home/condo and what if you had worked since you were 16?
[ Reply | Options ]Im sure it is frustrating. (Iam experiencing something similar) But at this point, I think you need to resign yourself to the fact that you will never have much "extra" money. Live the best life you can on the income you do have. Prioritize - if you love clothes, buy a few nice things, but buy a old car. If want a condo- scrimp on everything else.
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There is no way I would work 2 jobs for material things. I have Ikea furniture (often bought second hand), furniture pick up off the street, etc. I save as much as I can. I prefer to spend time with my family rather than have objects
[ Reply | Options ]Its strange, most people begin to value experiences and relationships, not material things, as they age. What do you seek from these material things?
[ Reply | Options ]I can sort of envision myself in a place, alone. I love my husband and my child but, they are not really there anymore. Always in front of the computer and into their own things. I feel as though I'm just working, cooking and cleaning. They don't even like my cooking that much. What I can envision is a beautiful little place for me. with a balcony. I wish I had more good times with my husband and my child but, truth be told, I don't.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: It sounds like you are depressed. Do you have anybody to talk to? It doesn't seem like your lack of things is the problem. Maybe if your relationships with family improved, you would feel a lot better. I know that would make all the difference for me.
[ Reply | Options ]Thank you for answering. I know there's an element of depression and worry in the mix. We won't be able to live on what we make now when we retire. So, yeah, I'm worried. He's not concerned. He works part time and wants to go per diem, carries no benefits and left two different careers before he was vested so he has no pension. I know there's an element of depression here. I really should try to find someone to talk to. Thanks again
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What could you possibly need so badly that you want to work a second job? I mean, you talk about the things you'd "like to have," so I'm assuming we're not talking basics like food and shelter. Designer clothes? Fancy dinners? I mean, really?
[ Reply | Options ]I read the other posts and I suspect that many of the responders either do not appreciate nice things or enjoy all the nice things that they want. I know how you feel. My husband is very frugal and I sometimes feel trapped like I will never be able to enjoy the things that I feel like I deserve as much as anyone else in my position. I got a great degree, have a great career, work hard at being a good mom. Why shouldn't I be able to purchase certain items that most others in my position don't think twice about? It sounds like you could benefit from having more of a life outside your home too since you feel that DC and DH are not very present for you at this time their lives. Why not get a weekend job at a clothing store or somewhere yo...
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[-]27 weeks pregnant and just saw BRU coupons for this weekend (http://babycheapskate.blogspot.com/2009/11/printable-bru-tru-coupons-for-this.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2Faxic+%28Baby+Cheapskate%29&utm_content=Google+Reader). Should I use the 20% off for the pricey breast pump I want now or wait for better holiday sales (will there be better?) or wait to see if anyone buys its from my registry for the shower? TIA
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Is this your first baby? I nursed my two girls, first for 12 months, second for 16 months. My advice is NOT to buy a pump. You can rent one for two months at the hospital which you deliver OR upperbreastside in manhattan. The one you can rent is far superior to the ones you can buy, and if you really want to nurse, will help you build a very healthy milk supply. That said, if you really want to nurse, you should not even be pumping for a few months, until you'r ready to go back to work. If you are still nursing after 2 months, I would suggest buying a pump then. Soudns silly, but the ones you rent are much stronger, and reallya whole lot better. Good luck to you!!
[ Reply | Options ]Completely disagree. If you are a wohm, a good breastpump is essential. Easier to have your own and can use for all dc. I highly rec the pump in style. Suction is excellent. I was able to pump both breast in 20 min. I also rec that you begin pumping and freezing asap, if you plan to ebf. Sometimes, due to scheduling, a decrease in supply or whatever, you may be unable to pump enough milk at work and need the extra at home to ensure that you leave a sufficient amount.
[ Reply | Options ]I am the OR from above. I can see the points of both the other responders. Too much pumping early on can definitely impede successful bf'ing with your little one. For the first 6 weeks or so the best way to build supply is to put your baby to the breast as much as possible. Good for baby, good for you. But if you are going back to work, you will need a good pump and it will be nice for you to get one at a good deal before the baby is born. The Medela Pump In Style and the Ameda Purely Yours are both very good and IMHO (I have used all) just as effective as the hospital grad pumps. I nursed my singleton and then my twins exclusively for 13 months and I pumped at work so lots of experience!
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thanks everyone! i did not know about the additional 10% off for twins. i'm not having twins though - will they ask for proof of some kind? i would like to get the medela handsfree double pump for when i return to work. i also want to pump so that my husband can help with feedings.
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[-]Does anyone have a great internist on UWS who takes insurance. It's for my husband, so he would probably be more comfortable with a man. Thanks!
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Yes. Manhattan Physicians Group. www.mpgcares.com
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[-]What age were your children when you began to really enjoy being a SAHM? I loved every minute that I spent with my first born but with my second I feel that I am struggling. I think that it is difficult for me to bond with him the way I did with my first because my attentions are split and my energy is drained. I feel like an awful mom.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I feel EXACTLY the same way. I am so worn out and I am not enjoying the baby period at all. I just want to get on with things! How old are your DCs?
[ Reply | Options ]This is going to sound horrible. The baby is 13 months old. My first is 4.5 yo. I really felt like once the baby hit a year, things would get better. But they are still really hard and I feel like I am wishing his life away.
[ Reply | Options ]13 months is a hard age...now you have to deal w/ the mobility/safety factors...but #2 will grow up just like #1 did...what do you mean "wishing his life away?"...that sounds scary, but i'm hoping it's a typo
[ Reply | Options ]All I mean is that I keep wishing him to be older and I am not enjoying the moment that we are in. Ugh. It makes me sick to think how you might have interpretted that. Sorry. I just don't want to suddenly feel like he is 3 yo or something and all I did was wait to get to that age.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: I get what you meant b/c I feel the same way. Mine are 7mo and 2yo. Things are really hard right now. I have been counting down the days until DB is 9mo, because that is when DC#1 began sleeping through the night. I know there's no guarantee, but I hope that DB is going in that direction. It's really hard and I'm sad to hear that it doesn't get any better once they reach 1 year. I have been waiting for that time as well.
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np: i am a wohm w a 5.5yo and a 13 mo and i feel the same way. i just can't wait until he gets older and is more independent. i too though 1yo would be better and it is, but not sufficiently. i keep thinking that until he walks and talks it's just too hard!
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[-]A shout out to the "older moms". Holy cow. I am in my mid-30's and I cannot believe how many of you are waaaay hotter than I am! Totally slim, beautiful skin, great clothes, excellent attitude. Way to go Moms, I never would have guessed you were older than I am!
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]34yo mom of 3dc and ITA. I have no idea how so many women have the time, energy, and desire to stay so in shape and put together.
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I'm an older mom but this is truly a weird post. You're surprised that there are people who are older than you are and look better? Welcome to the world. Creepy...
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[-]i got an email from Obama-I donated and now I get email updates from his people--the subject line was Sarah Palin and they used the word liar and the word dangerous--so a few things--fear mongering as a tatic to get the dems in line--i don't condone it, second of all-the more you keep talking about Palin the more of a threat she will become and third I would really rather the president talk about the merits of the programs instead of his people using this as a tactic. I think it lacks courage.
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I don't believe for a second that was an official email. Why don't you post that email here?
[ Reply | Options ]Right now, Sarah Palin is on a highly publicized, nationwide book tour, attacking President Obama and his plan for health reform at every turn. It's dangerous. Remember, this is the person who coined the term "Death Panels" -- and opened the flood gates for months of false attacks by special interests and partisan extremists. Whatever lie comes next will be widely covered by the media, then constantly echoed by right-wing attack groups and others who are trying to defeat reform. As we approach the final sprint on health reform, we can't afford more deception and delay. We need to be ready for anything -- and have the resources to respond with ads, events, and calls to Congress when the attacks come. So we're setting a big goal:...
[ Reply | Options ]: $500,000 in the next week to help push back against Sarah Palin and her allies. Please chip in $5 to help reach our goal.
[ Reply | Options ]https://donate.barackobama.com/page/contribute/dnc08Palin?source=20091119_MS_Palin_nd_inact&returnlink=false
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np: I believe you but everything in the e-mail you received is 100% accurate, unlike the words coming out of Palin's mouth. I get annoyed that the dnc keeps asking for money, but I like that they are truthful in their e-mails, unlike the ones from the RNC.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: Sorry, i stepped away. I do believe you now--but from what you had said, I expected a different sort of email entirely. I don't believe that is fear mongering. Unfortunately, I think the misinformation they are referring to--the "death panels" and false characterization of what is in the bills--is dangerous. I certainly think that the president should focus on the merits of proposed programs, but when blatant lies are being bandied about--and spread in the national media, by those who should know better--I agree that those lies must be addressed.
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id on't see anything wrong with calling her a liar or dangerous, nor with taking her seriously since she's clearly priming herself for a run in 2012. worse would be to brush her off as a harmless annoyance imo.
[ Reply | Options ]it is petty and beneath the dignity of the president, whether it is done by his office or his proxies.
[ Reply | Options ]but it's not beneath the dignity of someone clearly running for president to call the president a liar and dangerous?
[ Reply | Options ]you evaluate the merits of a candidate and how they act is absolutely worthy of consideration. Once in office, however, you should comport yourself with the dignity afforded the office.
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palin was still in office when she made up the death panel lies. or is the office of governor not afforded any dignity?
[ Reply | Options ]I don't know whether she was or wasn't, as I do my best to pretend she doesn't matter. Nevertheless, the presidential office shouldn't be operating on her level, should it?
[ Reply | Options ]are you high? it's not the presidential office, it's the dnc. and i don't see what you quoted as dirty politics or a smear campaign. it's all fact.
[ Reply | Options ]didn't realize it was the dnc. That is exactly who should be sending out this stuff. I had my panties in a twist when I thought it was another instance of overreaching, akin to the WH press office lashing out at Edmunds when it criticized the auto bailout program.
[ Reply | Options ]fact? it is interpretation and it is beneath the office of the president. Remember? New politics? Not the same old Washington crap?
[ Reply | Options ]np: would anybody dispute this? That she made that false death panels statement and that the claim was then widely covered by the media? "this is the person who coined the term "Death Panels" -- and opened the flood gates for months of false attacks by special interests and partisan extremists. Whatever lie comes next will be widely covered by the media, then constantly echoed by right-wing attack groups and others who are trying to defeat reform."
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[-]Do you know that the same people, same mentality that tried to keep slavery and child labor and block universal education, social security, and every other good thing we have, and also for that matter tried to block giving women the vote and opposed Civil Rights and actually defeated Equal Rights, now oppose universal healthcare. Their argument is always "We can't afford it!". But eventually this healthcare issue will be recognized by all
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]ITA. They are the same people who opposed the establishment of medicare, which is the only reason parents and grandparents of posters here can get health insurance. Otherwise, no insurance company wants to insure a senior citizen. I dare people to argue that we should do away with medicare.
[ Reply | Options ]This is UrbanBABY. You need to go find a political site that you can rant on b/c people here do not come here to listen to your political POV
[ Reply | Options ]op - you'll notice I said same kind of people and mentality - not same political party. as far as mammograms, not planning to get one at 40 or 50 as I am of that other species - male. Also, I lived in the UK for a few years and found their national health service to provide overall very good care. and of course there was always the option of private doctors and hospitals.
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[-]Do you know that the people who are trying to block health care reform are the same kind of people who tried to block universal education, social security, and nearly every other step forward we have taken as a nation? Same mentality. Same lame excuses. "We can't afford it!", they say. These are moral issues! Ending slavery, the Civil Rights Movement, giving women the vote, ending child labor - all this progress was opposed in much the same terms as we see happening today.
48 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]ITA, the conservative movement is the most hypocritical machine on the planet. They preach morals and live without them. Bunch of fear mongers clinging to an America they don't fit in anymore - thank God.
[ Reply | Options ]You should realize that many people are not opposed to what they are trying to do, but how they are trying to do it... the government would like you to think otherwise.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: And yet many of the alternative ideas that have been proposed would do little to nothing to address the problem of extending insurance to those who are currently uninsured. Many people on both sides would like to see changes. I would like to see more emphasis on promoting effective treatments and discouraging ineffective treatments. But at the same time, something needs to be done now.
[ Reply | Options ]We need to reduce the cost of healthcare, so that it is more affordable. At the same time our population is aging and medical care and technology has gotten more complex and expensive. Raising taxes and cutting reimbursements to healthcare providers is not the solution.. it will result in extreme shortages of Doctors as they leave the profession because they can no longer cover their expenses. Who is going to see all these newly insured patients. We need torte reform! We need to allow insurance companies to compete across state lines. These are two changes that would cost relatively no $ and yet are not part of the current proposal ( not in a meaningful way ). What is being proposed will not work and will result in a deterioration of...
[ Reply | Options ]These are starts, but they are not enough. I agree with you that both should be incorporated into current proposals. But I don't believe for seconds that doctors are going to leave the profession in droves. I am married to one and work with many, and most of them are not in it for the money--the good ones anway! They could do their part by trying harder to incorporate evidence based medicine into their practice. This craziness about the age at which to start mammograms is illustrative of our commitment, as a country, to early, frequent, and often needless screening + intervention (even when health outcomes are worse as a result).
[ Reply | Options ]I am also married to a doctor ( and writer of the comments above ). My husband often works until 11 at night and often 7 days a week. His expenses keep going up ( malpractice, office staff, billing ) and yet his reimbursements are going down. They only way for him to maintain his current income is to see more and more patients which is becoming very difficult given the hours he is already working. Many of the guys that he knows that are in their late 50's and 60's are planning on retiring if things continue to get difficult.
[ Reply | Options ]I hear you--it's hard work. Hard for them, hard for us (the families), and the training is brutal. That's why I would like to see torte reform too, and maybe some kind of windfall profits law about what can be charged for insurance (have you ever seen one of the graphs of profits vs what they pay out?!). I would like to see better pay for the primary care docs so that more go into that profession, and less money going towards all of the personnel who have to handle billing (on our side and on the insurance co. side). agree the system is out of control!
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If ppl think that health care reform will not increase everyone's taxes in the long run then they are fooling themselves. You are wrong they are not all the same ppl that tried to stop SS and universal education. There may be some but what do you expect this is a Christian society.
[ Reply | Options ]Don't be so simplistic! Take the time and understand the financial situation that this country is in and what the proposed plan is going to do to the economy. It's great to want to have universal healthcare but you have to have the money to pay for it. The plan on the table right now is completely unrealistic from a cost savings standpoint and is going to create further tax increases that are going to further weaken the economy.
[ Reply | Options ]The very fact that The United States of America does not have the best, most affordable health care on the planet, along with the best in Public Education - without question, given our wealth is a national disgrace and an abomination. Period. The end.
[ Reply | Options ]Of course it is going to create higher taxes, that is all Obama does. Big ideas that everyone but illegals and the super poor do not have to pay for.
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np LOL. Wait 'til you're lined up at a walk-in clinic waiting for primary care...
[ Reply | Options ]you realize that many countries with universal healthcare still have privately owned clinics/hospitals/practices, right? the average wait times in germany are less than in the US.
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HUH? I live in a Canadian city where everyone is always bemoaning the lack of GPs. Yet, the problem is a lot more structural than it is one of numbers. The GPs are there, but there is no simple way to match a GP to a patient. That's the real issue with universal healthcare: very difficult system to manage efficiently. But that's the same with private healthcare as well, Americans don't seem to believe that private insurance makes the system easy to navigate.
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This is UrbanBABY. You need to go find a political site that you can rant on b/c people here do not come here to listen to your political POV
[ Reply | Options ]op - Saw an interesting op ed in the NYT today that echos some of these same points and especially highlights the arguments made against the introduction of social security and medicare when they were introduced: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/opinion/19kristof.html
[ Reply | Options ]OK and I'll bet you're the first to complain that you won't be able to get a mammogram until your 50. That's just the begining. I'm sure under healthcare reform there will be many new studies that say you don't need the exsisting care you already receive.
[ Reply | Options ]What is wrong with you people? Nobody is saying that you CAN'T get a mammogram until you are 50. A committee that studied the effects of screening via mammogram found the benefits from 40-50 were outweighed by the negative effects. Thus, they are advising against the routine use of yearly mammograms before 50. If anyone had any indication of NEEDING a mammogram before 50 (high risk for whatever reason, found lump, etc.) they can certainly get them under these recommendations.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't understand why proving people don't need the care they are receiving is a BAD thing? I mean ideally we'd have a system where we don't actually give people the care until we prove that they need it, but absent that, what are we supposed to do? Go on doing the wrong thing forever because we screwed up when we originally recommended it?
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For what it's worth, Lincoln was a republican. Also, Strom Thurmond led a walk-out of southern democrats in 1948 and ran against Truman as a Dixiecrat. BTW, does you DC go to public or private. If you really wanted diversity, you would be in public. Your arguments are nothing more than bloviating hypocrisy.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Wow. You realize, I hope, that what the republican party (and democratic party) stand for has changed a lot over the years? What exactly were those statements supposed to illustrate? And where on earth did the public/private school thing come up in THIS post? BTW, my child does go to public and I'm not sure why you would assume that OP's does not. What that has to do with healthcare reform, I am not sure.
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[-]East Village Moms: Any good Friday happy hours that go until 8PM? Thanks!
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[-]I am in a bit of a slump emotionally - About to turn 41, have reached a point where I just prefer to be by myself (or dh and kids). Just don't have the energy to invest much in my friendships since the often disappoint me - or I them. Still outwardly very friendly and social just much more reserved than I ever have been - even at work. Feel like I need to do something to make my life better even though for the most part my marriage and life with my kids is about as good as it gets.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I have been feeling that way a lot on and off lately. Less often when I get more sleep. I look at friends who have children who are a littleolder and somewhat less high-maintenance and see that they have more balance in their lives, so I keep telling myself that it will pass. It's hard to be down.
[ Reply | Options ]You can make your life better in different ways, volunteering, expanding your cultural horizons etc. These things don't need to be social. I use to love volunteering because no one gave a crap about asking me about MY life. I didn't have to make an effort beyond listening to their issues.
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