[-]A big thank you to all the people who posted they would give to a charity looking to buy presents for foster children in NYC. For those of you who are interested, you can go to www.essnyc.org and give to their Winter Wonderland project. You guys are the best!
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[-]for those of you who are divorced and have joint custody... do you not see your dcs for several days at a time (or even a week) and how do you deal with that? I don't think I could! I wouldn't necessarily mind missing them every other weekend, but longer than that would be very difficult.
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[-]Did anyone hear that story awhile ago where that husband and wife in another country wanted to name her son '4real' with the actual number as part part of the name. The government didn't allow her to use that name so they changed it to 'Superman' but they call him 4real. We should have this policy for celebrities here too.
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Two completely different school that happen to be downtown. LREI is a very progressive school, Claremont traditional. What does appeal to you? Based on what I saw from the school, I'd say Claremont is more academic, altghough being new it's more of a ?
[ Reply | Options ]skip Claremont Prep. Nothing promised is delivered. We are one of the 80+ families that left. It is so NOT academic (two + years there was enough proof for me). It is privately owned and things are randomly cut at the whim of the family that owns it. My son was bullied so badly that we took him out mid year. There is clearly a money tree growing and we aren't rich so we couldn't feed it. I bet it is gone before it sees next September.
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Can anyone recommend a reputable credit fixing company? My ex-dh did not pay his taxes, and they got put on my credit report. I am having a hard time getting it taken off. Already one company said they would fix it, took $1500, did nothing, and now seemed to have disappeared. Just want to get it taken care of asap.
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[-]Know where I can donate two used electric breast pumps? I know they aren't supposed to be re-used but there must be some needy moms who would love one. Hate to throw them away...
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]If you post that on craig's list i bet they will be gone in a second! I think it will be hard to donate them through an organization b/c they're not supposed to be re-used. But I think many moms would be grateful!
[ Reply | Options ]Where does it say they aren't supposed to be re-used. Hospitals rent them out all the time; that's reusing them.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: The hospital ones can be re-used, but the pump-in-style, for example, has a different set-up. It's possible that if one user had a virus, such as HIV, milk could get caught in the mechanism and infect somebody else. So they come with big warnings not to re-use. People do it all the time anyway.
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[-]How would you deal with this situation? Fiance' hosts a weekly sports get together in the community where we live. A regular attendee is a single mother who self identifies as a MILF. She flirts shamelessly in my presence. This weekend she sent my DH a text on Sunday morning-which he showed me- that her estranged BF/DH had had her arrested and she needed somewhere to stay immediately (we own a few apartments.) He has been very good about saying no and not being encouraging and says he would never do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. Still I feel tremendously annoyed. WWYD?
31 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Next time you see her, just let her know, kindly, that fiance told you all about what a hard time she is having. Make it clear he tells you everything.
[ Reply | Options ]that is good advice. Is this a public thing? If it is not why must she even be invited?
[ Reply | Options ]It's kind of a word of mouth thing, regular meetup. It's established that she comes around already so I don't want it known that I had her banished.
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that is totally fair on your part! Do women usually attend this? Is this in your home together. I mean I get what you are saying and your fiance seems totally on the up and up but you can't have this in your home. I mean let's just go with the arrested thing - what the f? I mean you don't want this drama around
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This person is BAD NEWS. Tell fiance that she and her whole situation make you feel queasy and want to end any connection right now. Call her and tell her that the sports events are being watered down and you won't be able to have her there; say lots of things are going on in your lives now as the reason and just leave it at that. Get rid of this one!!
[ Reply | Options ]OP here- I laid out how I feel and unbelievably she called him and asked if she and her kids could spend the night! He said absolutely not of course and told me all about it. How can I make this go away for good. It's a small town and if we keep hosting the sports events it is bound to get back to her.
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Your husband sounds like a great guy for keeping you informed and not being shady. Let him know you appreciate this cuz if you freak out too much, in the future if another milf comes your way, he won't tell you. i don't have any solution for getting rid of her though...
[ Reply | Options ]He is a great guy and I have let him know. Do you think though that insisting she never come back a form of over-reaction?
[ Reply | Options ]i think it's weird to ban her, because then you would be known as the 'banner' and then maybe other women in the group might feel scared to hang out with your husband. she can keep coming, and once she sees that your dh is not receptive/being a little standoffish (yet polite), she'll probably step back. i mean, hopefully she can take a hint. but if u have any inkling that your hubby likes the attention, is looking forward to her coming, etc. then yes, definitely crackdown.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks for the advice. The only thing is that I believe she is real persistent. She asked to live in our downstairs apartment-twice- was told no firmly, then proceeded to ask about spending the night just a few days later. I don't know why I can't just let this go. Maybe I need to take tranquilisers until this blows over.
[ Reply | Options ]It's not you, it's her. If she would stop bugging you guys, you wouldn't have to worry about it. It sounds like you feel a little guilty, but know that she's bad news that would probably suck you and your fiance into a vortex of trouble (such as, how would you get her out once she came to stay?) If you could find her some sort of social service or community help, would that be the ticket?
[ Reply | Options ]Tonight on the phone I asked if he had heard from her today and he just said you really can't let this go, can you?
[ Reply | Options ]I am so upset. I feel he is utterly lacking in compassion. I started to cry. I just can't help it and I know that is one of my flaws, that I tend to overthink things.
[ Reply | Options ]LISTEN TO ME: You are very right in doing WHATEVER has to be done to put a lid on this woman. I have seen women operate like this and they have one thing only in mind and that is, to move into your territory. This woman is acting the "poor me, i'm helpless and need a shining knight to protect me" type and your fiance is on the cusp of falling for the whole act. It's actually good if it gets back to her that she's not invited to the sport's events, then, the might get the message. Do not back down.
[ Reply | Options ]btw i'm the responder who said "i think it's weird" but all these other responses below aren't me.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks so much for your response. All week have not been able to eat or sleep over this. My fiance' says I am obsessing and I know that's partially true. I just wonder if men can really empathise. He is/has been VERY jealous of me in the past, and I went all out to convince him there was nothing to worry about.So you revised your stance that I should have her banned from the event?
[ Reply | Options ]Hi - I'm the responder that started with "LISTEN TO ME" and I in no way have revised anyting. I have felt from the onset that this woman is bad news for your life. Whatever it takes, insist that you don't want her presence at any events because you find her actions inappropriate. I have known a person similar to what you describe and she's ruthless and relentless. Your fiance won't/can't see it because he's fallen for her act. It would actually be good if she finds out she's not invited anymore so she'll finally get the hint. Good luck!!
[ Reply | Options ]Also want to add, once you've gotten her out of your social life and it's over and done, then you can let go of the whole thing. You don't need to continue thinking about it now that it's been decided that she's history in your house and lives. So go get your relationship back on track now!
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[-]My husband want to get the H1N1 vaccine for my ds but I feel concerned about it...all my dr. friends are not giving it to their kids. Do they know something I don't? What are you all doing?
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look at the amount of babies/small children that have died of h1n1 since april in comparison to the regular flu (REALLY, LOOK IT UP.) then run your mouth.
[ Reply | Options ]look at how many babies and small children die from other flu strains. Dude, H1N1 is a flu. The body reacts to it. Everybody is different. The only disadvantage we have is that it is an entirely brand new strain (well, not quite but close enough) and if you get it you'll get sick, no way around it. Kids and small children will always get hit the hardest. That's not H1N1 specific, though.
[ Reply | Options ]dude? wow. are you speaking from actual facts? If a person was interested in how lethal h1n1 is on babies (in comparison to regular flu, not compared to other people) they would look it up and see that, since april, h1n1 has taken the lives of DOUBLE the amount of the regular seasonal flues, through the WHOLE YEAR, combined. clearly, it's hitting much harder then regular flu. Dude.
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The mortality rate of H1N1 is not any worse than any of the other flu strains. Yes, H1N1 seems to infect the younger folks more but that doesn't make H1N1 more lethal.
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My DH is an ER doc. Having seen the kids who got hit the hardest, he called in favors to get our DD the HINI vaccine.
[ Reply | Options ]A dad from our school said their pediatrician actually advised against it. Not sure why, I think he said it just wasn't that bad. Having said that, I disagree and had DC get both seasonal flu and H1N1 mist vaccine, and I had no hesitation in doing so.
[ Reply | Options ]i don't know why any doctor would not give it to their own children. you have to look at the actual arguments on each side, not just go by what other people do and their vague reasons. for me it was pretty straightforward: there have been NO adverse reactions to the vaccine, there have been many deaths/serious illnesses from the swine flu.
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[-]Has anyone else had swine flu or any other bad flu in the last several weeks? How long did it last?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My dc had swine this week. Sick for three days. First high fever, tummy ache, vomiting, coughing. Second day low fever. Third day normal temp.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, 4 of us had it. DD#1: got it first, moderate fever for 48 hours. dd#2: low-grade fever for 4 days, with one day of very high fever in the middle, moderate cough that lingers. me: low-grade fever for 3 days- turned into a head cold with a cough. DB: fever for 24 hours plus cold, but ped. said she probably had it too because they're seeing a decent share of mild reactions too.
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[-]Westport CT moms - Does anyone know the going rate for a daytime occasional babysitter for 2 kids (baby to toddler)? W/e evening babysitter? Housekeeper (really cleaning lady) who comes 1x/week to a 4bd house?
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[-]I hate people who don't like to try new or culturally different food. It really tells me a lot about who they are and I lose respect for them.
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OK. Because someone might be a wonderfully caring friend who constantly goes out of her way to help other people, and a lovely, intelligent, person who is fun to be around, but you know, if she's a picky eater, it's just appalling and you really should "hate" her and get her out of your life as soon as possible.
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Fine, might sound judgemental but I'm coming from a point of view of someone who is not American and when I offer food from my country of origin, I find that there are two different responses. Those who eagerly try and the ones who make a face and decline (or reluctantly take a teeny tiny bit). I've seen this enough all my life and have made my own very unscientific conclusion about these types of people and I'm usually right in my own very personal judgement.
[ Reply | Options ]You are correct that people who make a face or are reluctant are likely not especially adventurous people in general and may not rush into trying new things. If that's what you value, great. To me, that's way down the list -- after being a very kind and considerate person and someone with whom I'm able to have an intelligent conversation and who is generally happy and fun to be around.
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I don't like to travel internationally or dine at nice restaurants with these people, and maybe don't do teh fancy dinenr parties with them as a guest, but hate is kind of a strong word-
[ Reply | Options ]my brother is like this. he thinks panda express is "too fancy" and only eats kfc, burger king, and mcdonalds. i've never seen him eat a fruit. he's not fat at all either, he's 6 ft and 140 lbs. he always orders plain cheese pizza, plain vanilla ice cream, etc. i get so bored just looking at it!! it matches with his personality too, he's a very loyal friend, nice guy, but doesn't like to travel, meet new people. He has all the same friends since childhood and does the exact same thing everyday. I have met a few people like this, and the funny thing is whenever i ask "is your fave ice cream vanilla" they are so shocked, like i am a clairvoyant or something. Anyway, I would go nuts if my spouse was 'boring' like this, seriously i can't stand...
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Well first of all hate is a strong word. Why would you dislike someone because they don't want to try new food, seems odd. Since you are so ethnically superior then go to Japan and try their squid ice cream. That's right, they have it and the people LOVE it.
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[-]Going to a friend's db's birthday party (1 year). How much should I spend on a gift?
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[-]picky eater advice! 17 mo dd has become the pickiest eater. one thing she will eat is applegate farms nitrate free, antibiotic free turkey breast. how bad is this is? dinner tonite: turkey and blueberries!
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[-]i have a one week old and all the warm full bodied jackets i bought are too big for her and i cant get here well enough defined in them to put them in her carseat. any recs of a good tiny full bodied jacket for a newborn? thanks.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]can you warm the car up before putting her in? If you put her in dressed warmly and then the car gets warm as you're driving she'll be uncomfortable and taking clothes off will be a headache.
[ Reply | Options ]Don't put her in the car seat wearing a coat - put a blanket over the carseat or use a BundleMe and make sure she has a hat & mittens on those cute little hands. once the car is warm you can take the blanket off and it's safer that way.
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[-]How is it that my child scored 98's on ERB's at 4 and is now a 5th grader (10)in the middle of pack at her single sex? She was not prepped in any way for ERB's as a preschooler, unless you consider preschool as prep. She was reading when she enter K, as far as age she is in the middle for her grade with an April birthday. I just don't get it, and am considering tutoring since she seems to be struggling to keep up. Advice, thoughts? Thinking about public school for High School since what I thought was a great private has not helped my child reach her potential. Unfortunately this is a real post.
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Not yet, but they will evaluate for reading since she appears to have comprehension gaps.
[ Reply | Options ]Is she really struggling to keep up? If she is in the middle of the pack, she may not be, but you have to be comfortable that she is not the absolute best in every subject. If she needs help with reading comp, that is easy enough for you to work with her at home on. I can see tutoring if there is a subject she is actually falling behind on but not just if she is in the middle academically. And, FWIW, 98 ERBs are a dime a dozen. Does not indicate higher intelligence among the private school students.
[ Reply | Options ]:) Wow this board is alot more helpful than I remember when I was here a few years back. You folks are all raising very helpful points! She is a strong reader, but struggles in class assignments with comprehension writing assignments. At home obviously more relaxed and needs far less guidance. For what it is worth her teachers get her. But it did surprise me when her teacher mentioned reading evaluation.
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Maybe your kid would have done less well if in public for elem. How bad was the test score? How have her grades and report cards read? if she is successful along those lines, maybe she is a bad test taker. the test for older kids includes stuff like reading comp, which you can't test at 4. If you are really concerned you should pursue a neuro psych or psycho ed testing, which tell you about HOW your DD learns and where she is strong and weak and what type of school may be most appropriate. Has school said she is not keeping up? Are they worried?
[ Reply | Options ]She is usually described as slow to start and finish. But this year may have improved slightly because it was only an issue with two subjects. She loves both classes, but is easily distracted by classmates. I think lack of sleep my be an issue.I was also more liberal with tv/computer/hand held games use, perhaps that is a factor as well.
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Because it's not just about raw intelligence. It's about motivation, attention, organization skills, auditory and visual processing. My ds got a 97 on the SB at age 4... due to concerns about issues like the ones I listed above, he was always in the middle of the pack at his academically challenging school. It didn't bother me though, he worked to capacity and his learning skills improved each year with maturity and practice.
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My ds is now in high school. His ability to be on top of his work continues to develop and he's now much more invested in his own academic success. When he was younger it was just "stuff he had to do". Maturity makes a huge difference for kids who've had the brain power, but not the motivation as young children.
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middle of the pack not so bad no? Better than bottom imo. Why is it so important to you that she be at the top, rather than where she is comfortable? A lot can change in ms.
[ Reply | Options ]Are you serious? ERBs are pretty much meaningless. The middle of the pack is a fine place to be, and many DC belong there. Unless she is depressed, bored, listless or unhappy in some way that is leading her to underachieve, stop worrying about her being "in the middle" and embrace her for who she is. And yes, get a tutor if she's struggling, or switch schools if she's unhappy.
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Agree with above poster! Have you ever read the mismeasure of man? Do it, it will make you feel better! Most of these tests are based on IQ tests, even when they claim that is not what they are... virtually meaningless for many kids as far as real potential. Just a test of acculturation at 4 YO!
[ Reply | Options ]It's funny I used to say the same thing to others. I guess I didn't exactly feel it applied to my daughter.
[ Reply | Options ]well said. i often wonder if these tests measure precociousness rather than aptitude or intelligence or academic potential. maybe the 99 means dc would make a great child actor but is not necessarily going to HYP?
[ Reply | Options ]think about this also some of the test is based on basic knowledge. If that knowledge was not taught to the 4 yo yet - how would they know it. They are so young. Not all parents sit and drill their kids with facts. Not all give them blocks to build with or teach them to write at that age. So many factors go into this test and it just isn't accurate at 4yo
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Is she in the middle of her class at a tt school? The group she is with is probably way above average. Middle is a nice, strong position, as long as she is motivated, learning, and happy socially.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes she is in the middle at her single sex. You all were very helpful. Brought me back to my senses and needed a nice verbal "snap out of it!"
[ Reply | Options ]that's the right reaction. ERBs are only helpful getting into ongoing schools. they are not a predictor of academic success or failure. think about it. your dc is taken to a strange room with strangers for 45 min - anything could and does happen. while a 98 is a very impressive score, it reflects as much about their success that day with that set of testors than anything else. while i am sure your dc is bright, if she's in the middle of the class and happy with herself, that's a big win imo.
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