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[-]WWYD? Part-time sitter has worked for us 25 hrs/week for almost a year. She is great with DD, energetic, young, caring, playful, etc. However, her personal issues (mother died 2 years ago, possible addiction issues in family & with her) have been coming up a lot recently. She is in therapy and working it out. Last night when we got home from dinner, I went to bed and DH SWORE she was intoxicated and went on to him about how she was sexually abused etc and was acting very weird. She has some weird boundary issues which we are willing to work on, but the being drunk or high REALLY freaks me out. Don't want to lose her cause she's great with DD...this is hard. How do we trust her? Maybe she needs time off to get her sh*t together????
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[-]Overhead in BR dressing room today: Sales girl asked an Orthodox girl why she was wearing long sweater. I wonder how the girl responded.
38 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreThey do dress ridiculously for this weather. Sorry, not bashing that particular religion, just that particular ridiculous requirement of it.
[ Reply | More ]Orthodox Jewish Mom here and you are being really unfair! I live in NYC and it is HOT! and HUMID! and you know what? wearing an inch or two inches more of sleeves just isnt gonna kill me. I work in an air conditioned hospital. I live in an air conditioned house. I drive an air conditioned car. And, I wear deoderant. Sleeves dont need to reach our fingertips, just cover our elbows. Shirts dont need to be as thick as sweaters. And believe it or not, wigs are NOT HOT!! Hats ARE! Synthetic wigs ARE- the nylon(or whatever) hair really insulates, and the caps are made of plastic...but custom human hair wigs, are light and NOT HOT AT ALL! It is not ridiculous to us, and I dont get why this uber liberal site is always all about bashing Judaism.
[ Reply | More ]np: Not bashing, but curious - what is the reasoning behind the long sleeves and stocking requirement? Is it about modesty, or something else? Thanks.
[ Reply | More ]How is wearing a human hair wig being modest? And for the record, I find all religious traditions, such as these quite ridiculous, some more so than others.
[ Reply | More ]question: how is it being IMMODEST? the rule is to cover our head to remind us that G-d is above us. Our heads have hair on them. hence, the most innocuous way to cover one's head (ie- the way to observe the mitzvah while at the same time not attracting tons of attention to yourself) is with a wig. what is ridiculous about it?
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I am certain God does not appreciate you using AC 24/7 polluting the environment and causing damage to this planet just so you can keep your long sleeves and stockings. Why don't you realize that original "ghetto wear" came from shtetls in Poland and Russia where the apparel was weather appropriate. How did original Israelites dressed in the middle east where it was always hot? Were they less religious than you?
[ Reply | More ]huh? wait, me using AC in my car and house is evil now? take your prius loving environmental posts elsewhere! the two more inches of sleeves on my arms do not mean my AC is set to 55 instead of 69...get a life!
[ Reply | More ]ITTTTTA! there are many countries where the women dress modestly without AC. to use such a wasteful and environmentally unfriendly appliance just to keep "your elbows covered" is gross.
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I think both of them are nutty - the saleswoman for being intrusive and the girl for wearing a sweater in the summer. She could wear a long or 3/4 sleeve shirt. Maybe she's not Orthodox, just masochistic.
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I do wonder about that. I lived in a very conservative, modest city in South India where the temp surged to 120 in summer. Women got by wearing light-colored, billowy, cotton clothes that covers them down to the ankles and wrists but protected them from sun exposure. So it is possible to dress modestly and stay cool- so why wear a sweater?
[ Reply | More ]Orthodox Jewish Mom here and we have "guidelines" in terms of what we should or should not wear. wearing a sweater in the summer is insane, but has nothign to do with reliigion. the rule is her elbows must be covered. maybe she is just weird. nothing to do with being orthhodox or jewish or anything.
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[-]Things are so sloooooooooooow here right now. So how much money would it take for you to agree to drown a puppy? $5,000? $50,000?
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at first I was disturbed by this post. then I remembered that people kill puppies all the time at animal shelters. i doubt they get big bucks to do it and certainly not on a per puppy basis.
[ Reply | More ]Wouldn't do it if it was a puppy, they're cute. If it was a cat I'd do it for either. Can't stand cats.
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Not enough money in the world, I say now....If the opportunity really presented itself and a whole lot of money was involved who knows how one would react? You can never say never unless faced with a situation....Btw, what a sick imagination you've got, my dear.
[ Reply | More ]OP: LOL, I'm fine with the suggestion that I have a sick imagination. But if I put five million dollars down in front of you (or almost all the posters here, including myself), we'd be filling up the bathtub. Isn't that a little sick, too?
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yep! sick...but I would take that $5M and donate 50% to various animal shelters, and live on the interest off the other 50%, so...atoning for one puppy's life by making thousands of puppies/kittens safe.
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Hmmm...interesting logic and it seems to fall in line with the thinking of the Third Reich. It's ok to kill children and take their families wealth because you are going to redistribute it amongst the truly deserving citizens. Sorry, your ethics don't hold up.
[ Reply | More ]stupid! how is killing a dog to get mega-wealth for animal shelters equivalent to killing a child? wtf is wrong with you?
[ Reply | More ]Uh, it's called applying the OR's logic to another situation. You think that taking a life is ok as long as it provides betterment for the masses that you deem appropriate. Gross.
[ Reply | More ]I am sorry, but as much as I love animals I do not think that they are on par with human children. Get over yourself. If you eat animal flesh, you've killed.
[ Reply | More ]I take it that you didn't pass Ethics in college? You are being incredibly literal here it's laughable.
[ Reply | More ]I did not take garbage courses in college. I had to take real classes to graduate and earn a living. People who must support themselves since 15 do not have the time to sit around debating irrelevant "ethics" and take "liberal arts" classes to prolong their time at school so they can extend their leisure. Only life can teach you ethics and only time lived will show you who you really are, not who you like to think you are.
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uh, zero. Yes, I have debt (student loans are killer and our HHI is $55K) but we have MUCH more than 99% of the world. I don't see how anyone would even consider this.
[ Reply | More ]come on....you would not do it if it paid your kids tuition though private school and college? everyone would, it just a matter of how much it would take....
[ Reply | More ]Do you not realize that private school and college are a privilege that 99% of the world cannot even dream about? There couldn't be a more frivolous reason to take a life.
[ Reply | More ]I do not care about 99% of the world, I care about my child...ps..you kill roaches? bugs? spiders? you eat meat? chicken? fish? you drive a car?...you've killed my dear..many, many times over again. This would just be killing for benefit as opposed to killing for nothing.
[ Reply | More ]Are you the OP of this post? You must be because you don't seem to have a firm grasp of understanding. For starters, killing for money is a whole different ball game than killing a spider? Do you really think they are the same? Second, the "benefit" you see here doesn't exist in my world view. Yes, I could send my child to private and college on dirty $$, but the ethics behind my decision would pollute the general population. This is not the world that I would want my child to live in. One where people kill so that they can send their child to freaking private school. This has to be a joke. You can't really be this obtuse.
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^^ you think that killing a puppy for money is polluting the general population? Interesting? I think non-vegeterians who do not kill their own food are popolluting general population by their duplicity. "Private school" was just an example of what a perent could do with money bought at a cost of dog's life. I, and many others btw, would cheerfully put an end to your life if it came between kid and his good life, let alone dog's life. I know what it sound like, and I do not care. It is what it is.
[ Reply | More ]Uh, yes. Killing for money so that I can provide my child with comforts that are above and beyond the necessities for life is unethical and egotistical. Considering that you live in NYC, you are already much better off than most of the country, if you feel "poor" here, you should move, not go around drowning a defenseless animal so that you have some extra change to send your DC to camp, piano lessons or buy a bigger apartment.
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I would never do it. I can always make enough money to live and the guilt would tear at me.
[ Reply | More ]I don't think the issue is how much money, but rather whether or not you need money. We are comfortable and therefore I have the money I need to feed, clothe, and house my children, but if I had an immediate need for money to feed my dc or myself then the price would be very low, and I think my actions would be forgiveable to most (if such a scenario really existed).
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[-]Want to switch from ice cream to frozen yogurt. Any recommendations for a brand that tastes good? Is low-fat ice cream healthier than frozen yogurt?
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[-]I can't help it, but I am aware of the things my friends do that are detrimental to their child's physical growth. We're talking, flat heads, not letting them sit up, major safety issues, etc. I try not to judge but it's hard. I am a social worker, fwiw. Thoughts?
75 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreReport them. Sounds dangerous. I was on a receiving end of a CPS visit a week ago, because of something my son said (completelt baseless), but I did not resent the intrusion because, maybe just maybe, the person was there trying to see if a child needed help. Do not close your eyes because these people are your friends, a child's life may be at stake.
[ Reply | More ]what are they don't that's so bad? what do you mean flat head? what are the safety issues. Don't care if you're a social worker, if you're going to make a claim, you had better be damn sure that you have basis for it. It's horrible how many false claims there are and ppl put through the ringer for nothing. Not saying you exaggerating but just be sure and not assume.
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Flat head is when you leave a child on their back, in a stroller, in a crib, on a mat, etc for long periods of time with no rolling or turning. Once a flat head develops, the only way to get it back to normal is with a helmet. However, this child is 14m and it's far too late.
[ Reply | More ]you do know that "flat head" doesn't indicate abuse. How do you know if this dc wasn't born with it? How do you know they don't haver torticollis (sp?). I've known kids with flat heads and their parents do exercise with them but the dc doesn't like tummy time but prefers to be on the back.
[ Reply | More ]NNP: She sounds like a childless 20something who has taken one child development class and now is walking around all self-righteous thinking "OMG, everyone around me is a horrible parent".
[ Reply | More ]I have 2 children, thank you very much, aged 2.5 and 4. I'm a social worker at a NICU in NYC.
[ Reply | More ]NICU social worker at NYU and don't have adequate expressive communication skills to voice your concerns to 'friends'? Hmmmm....
[ Reply | More ]The predicament is that these ARE friends. It is very easy to communicate to strangers that you have concerns. This is a case of my professional judgment interfering with friendships.
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ITA and can hardly believe that you have no experience well balancing your assessments and communicating concerns. Also, how did you get the position at NYU without clinical rotations which provided exposure to unmistakable effects of abuse? I smell freshwater marlin...
[ Reply | More ]and at a city hospital, she'd have definitely witnessed terrible signs of infant suffering due to various abuses. Nothing OP described is outside the realm of usual, various occurrences and conditions of infants.I think OP is neurotic, fos and needs more training is actually hoping to do good.
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how are they preventing the dcs from sitting up? its odd that you say "friends" -- how many people have you see doing these things?
[ Reply | More ]3 different people. They are first time parents, but are just DUMB. Don't read books, think kids are fun to dress up and an accessory, really. Kids 14m still eating only baby food, kids left sitting on a table, cups of water left out near outlets, etc.
[ Reply | More ]np: many kids still eat baby food at 14mo and older. How many dc do you have? Do you know that some kids just don't like the texture of regular food and just will eat baby food. I say it's better to give them food then let them starve. Issues with texture takes time. Also many different cultures are ok with baby food for a while..that's why the baby food companies have toddler food. You sound very very judgmental
[ Reply | More ]Stage 1 baby food is not for children 14m, FYI. Children with issues relating to food texture at that age need a speech evaluation ASAP for feeding issues.
[ Reply | More ]not always. Some kids just tend to take longer to accept rougher textures. Doesn't mean they need a speech evaluation. As long as they're feeding the kids, I would MYOB unless they aren't feeding the kids. PPL mother differently. My best friend allows soda, candy, ect..I don't but I don't tell her how to do things.
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Why don't you say something to them first? In this case it almost seems like you want to get CPS involved to make it more comfortable for you (avoiding an awkward conversation). This is NOT their purpose. The system is designed to intervene in cases of neglect and abuse. Not only could you put these people in an uncomfortable situation but more importantly you could waste a valuable resource's time when they could be investigating a DIRE situation.
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Flat heads? I wouldn't be concerned if someone kept her baby on his back a lot. Yes, it means that he'll probably hit certain milestones later than he would have otherwise, but as long as he's stimulated and loved, it's not abuse. Sitting up? If she's a first-time mother, she might be nervous about letting him sit because she thinks that he's going to fall. I'd model assisted sitting for her and see what she thinks.
[ Reply | More ]Done that. Her answer, "She's lazy, like her father, and she's better off laying down." The kid is 13m, FWIW.
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Shouldn't they have taught how to deal with things like this in social worker school? And I'm sure the guidance isn't "first, seek advice online".
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when you say detrimental you better bring it because what you've posted here is NOTHING close to it. I'm still waiting to hear the major safety issues.
[ Reply | More ]I'm really confused about the flat head/not letting them sit up thing. I thought the floor was the best place for babies so they can develop normally and that lying flat in a bassinet stroller was the best for up to 6mos. I was always told anything that forces them to sit (bouncy chair, bumbo etc) was only for occasional use as they aren't good for their development
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are they strapping them down? sounds like you're assuming a lot. You said they're 1st time parents then makes suggestions NICELY. Tell them to cover the electrical outlets and even offer to bring some if you want. As for the kids laying down, unless you know for sure they are making the dc lay flat, myob.
[ Reply | More ]another fake post, I am not one to cry fake but there have been so many contrived posts this week. Like a mother would really say, about a 13 mo that doesn't sit up "she's lazy like her father and is better off lying down".
[ Reply | More ]i think that 1. it's OK to judge, as long as you understand others will also judge you and that you make mistakes. 2. when i see something that upsets me, i play dumb and say "weird, where did you read that you should do X? the books i have say that you should do Y" 3. the stuff you listed isn't terribly life-threatening, but it can be annoying if you are taking parenting very seriously and you feel like your peer group is of a different mindset. maybe you should actively seek out some moms that are more aware of the issues you care about.
[ Reply | More ]I understand--I know a mom who uses her vegetarianism as an excuse to severely limit her own and her daughter's diets. The kid is thin, scary thin, and afraid of many foods. Now they have a new baby and I can already see the underfeeding happening again. But when it is reportable?
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I think you shouldn't be worried at this point, but if there is no language whatsoever by 18 months and if you live in NY state you qualify for early intervention- it's free.
[ Reply | More ]any words at all? At 15 months if there are no words, you might want to call a service that helps with EI. Works great for me two DC.
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My ds could not produce an intelligible word at 13 months but babbled like crazy. Now at 24 months is starting to slowly make sentences and repeats everything he hears. This only begun at 22 months. If your ds is babbling and interacting with people I wouldn't worry about autism. Also, boys tend to talk later then girls.
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ITA. In the meantime you may want to consider a hearing eval. EI saved my child. At 12 mos no words or babbling, doctor said boderline concern and we did hearing test. At 15 mos same thing and we started the whole process. It was a life saver. Was so glad ped took my concerns seriously.
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Not if s/he says other things and you have ruled out a hearing problem (da-da usually comes first). My DD was saying a lot of words by 13 months, but NEVER mama. It was actually starting to bother me, but at 14 months she (finally) started saying it -- and now she won't stop. So just smile and love DC and know that the day will come when you will be so sick of hearing "mama" "mommy" "mom!" :-)
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[-]Money poll: what do you have in savings? i am fearful that we have not put away enough. Us: no debt (except for reasonable mortgage, maybe $400k in equity) but only $600k in savings. we're in mid-40s with 2 dc.
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No. Retired. Spent all my life saving, and then had a windfall later in life. We were lucky, but we would have been okay without it due to saving for retirement starting early on.
[ Reply | More ]FYi. If you care. Both dh and I were computer programmers. I know people think this is a boring profession so they probably discourage is for their kids, but like things like accounting and engineering, it can be quite stable and give you a very comfortable lifestyle. I don't know why it is looked down on so much in this country. In other countries is considered quite a respectable way to earn a living and doesn't have the ultra-geek stigma.
[ Reply | More ]It's unlikely that we will see another dot-com boom any time soon. So careers in IT are typically nothing more than grunt work. Unless you have higher education in computer science or mathematics, you are doomed to a boring low-paying job. We have close friends who are programmers/IT professionals, and they would never wish that upon their children (their words).
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DH and I are both 30. No debt except for a fairly small mortgage. 500k in savings, 100K in IRA and two 30K in college funds for our kids.
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Is this a VBA? We are late 30s, still renting, over $100K in student loan debt, $150K in liquid savings, another $150 in 401Ks, $15K in college funds and probably about $30K in various deferred comp and restricted stock units that we can't do anything with for a few years. I'd be thrilled to own a home and have $600K in savings.
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$480k morgage on $1.9m home; $600k savings; $150k IRAs; $100k annually pension plan; DCs college already paid for but we are in early 50's (older mom with DCs now in HS) so I am scared silly.
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[-]My ds is almost 5 and seems to be an overly sensitive. Cries at the drop of a hat. The other kids are noticing and starting to tease him for it. Any ways to help him cope?
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op here. I do wonder about that. He is spending a lot of time chewing on his shirt, which I was attributing to anxiety
[ Reply | More ]NP My dd (4 1/2) had a few very anxious mos -- a teacher's aide (older woman) died and just a few other things. I did speak privately without dd around to her ped to get some advice, and consulted with a family counselor as well. I am sure your ds is just a sensitive kid and you can work with him on ways to cope with his feelings but kids DO tease, too.
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I have the same problem with my 5.5 yo. Now that school has ended it has gotten much worse. The teacher thought it was a self-confidence issue and told me that he improved as the year went along and he got more social. Now I feel like we are back to square one. He's afraid of everything and I'm sure that anxiety plays in somehow. I wish I knew the right things to tell him to make him feel more secure. My ped blows it off and says this is all normal. I don't agree. Let us know what you do with your DD. Good Luck!
[ Reply | More ]Has anything changed in his life lately? A new baby, a move, a grandparent passing away? Is there a down time in his day when he could talk to you in a relaxed atmosphere--my dd and I talk about things after her bath, before bed. She's relaxed and a lot comes out and I can reassure her about things.
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[-]has anyone tried ashley madison? i can't believe i'm asking this. it sounds so cheesy. but gotta admit the idea of no-strings attached sex sounds so great.
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morenoooo! why r u guys bumping her thread by replying! the OP is married to the founder of this website. she comes on here every few months to start debates about "open marriages," affairs and other stuff...all in an effort to promote their dumb website. please. please. just. collapse. and. go. on. to. next. thread.
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search for ashleymad ashley mad, ashley madison, ashleym mom, etc etc etc. its like cancer that keeps coming back.
[ Reply | More ]NP: I get that it's spam, but what I meant was: How do you know that it's the website founder's wife who's spamming it? (BTW, I wonder if they both use the website!)
[ Reply | More ]b/c she admitted to it in one of the "ashley mad" threads and revealed some personal detail about herself- I dont even remember what it was. i mean these threads go back probably close to a year. every few months. she asks "have u tried ashley madison" so people will google her Dh's site.
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no, she does it like every other month. its hilarious. I mean I have never had an affair, but I dont judge or condemn anyone! to each their own, and e/o has their reasons. but this website is just disgusting and for a husband and wife to be like "our marriage is great! we run a massive international swinging group together and we raise our kids in a quiet, religious suburban neighborhood and htey are totally well adjusted" is just disgusting.
[ Reply | More ]op: wow, i totally am not the spouse of the founder. funny. but you're ALL right, it's gross and i realized it when at a restaurant last night hearing two fat middle-aged businessmen talking about it. that's when i realized how much i actually love my husband. kinda pathetic, i know - but true!
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[-]So conflicted on where to live. Looking to buy, in Manhattan. Looking for good school zone for younger DC, and somewhat closer to Nest (where older DC goes to school). DC would take bus to school, so UES would be fine (good zones, more space, better value), but worried about the lack of playground space and green, unless we're close to Carl Schurz or Central Park -- but both are really far from a subway. Downtown has some great options for schools (41/3, 234, 89), and beautiful parks nearby, but so much more expensive, and wondering if it's really worth trying to fit into tighter space. Not sure how I feel about BPC -- beautiful parks and riverfront, but gets a bit empty on weekends. On the UWS now and love iet, but the 199 zone is a mess. ...
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morethere's Stuy town that has large apts and has a good zone school PS 40 (most of Stuy town is zoned for this school). This is very close to NEST. Lots of families there and you're next to subways and buses. I live nearby but not in stuy town
[ Reply | More ]Do you really want to buy now, or do you just have to because you sold your primary residence? It is probably better to rent in the area you are thinking of if you're not sure you want to be there for the long haul. It is much cheaper to rent right now than to buy when you look at what you get for your monthly outlay less tax breaks.
[ Reply | More ]We were looking to buy because the prices really have come down from their height. But I'm certainly not opposed to renting, and I actually think that could be a smart move, esp as younger DC might get into Nest, in which case zones won't matter, and we can live anywhere. But concern then is where to rent -- if we rent in the West Village and we love it, and he goes to 234, it'll lock us in to buying there, and it's really expensive. At least now, we have the entire city to look at, if that makes sense. But for many reasons, renting might be the answer.
[ Reply | More ]np: from what I've heard and read, if your dc gets into a school like 234 and you move, they don't kick you out.
[ Reply | More ]West Village is not zoned for 234. You only have to live in the zone for the first year that the kid goes to the school. Then, you can move if you like a different area better and commute. I know a lot of people who have done this.
[ Reply | More ]Sorry, I meant Tribeca for 234, or 41/3 for West Village. But same point. Interesting. I didn't realize people did that a lot. One of the benefits of going to your zoned school is the community and convenience. But this makes sense, in an expensive neighborhood. How far do they move?
[ Reply | More ]The people who moved out of the zone are still part of the community during the week. It is the weekends where they tend to stay in their new area. They've moved for various reasons like divorce, job loss, purchasing a home they could afford, etc. They still have playdates with their friends and go to afterschool and it hasn't really changed their social life much. They will scatter in middle school anyway.
[ Reply | More ]I am in Tribeca, and they have mostly moved to Brooklyn or BPC. I am considering BPC myself because I would love to be able to walk outside my building and be at a river park without having to cross West St. since I spend so much time there as it is. It is also less busy with cars and pedestrian traffic. The housing stock is not that nice compared to Tribeca, though. I used to live in the West Village. I really liked it, but apartments are small and expensive and there are less things to do for kids than farther downtown. When the kids are older, I would definitely consider living there again.
[ Reply | More ]I would love to hear more, as those are our top choice neighborhoods. My concern about BPC is that it seems empty at night and on weekends, and I'm not keen on living right next to Goldman Sachs or the merchantile exchange. But we LOVE the park and river. Does the West Village really not have much for kids? What are the best area downtown for kids? Maybe we should do that for 5-8 yrs, and then move again...?
[ Reply | More ]I like BPC on the weekends and in the evenings. It feels very safe, and there are a lot of kids and adults walking, cycling and scootering around in the summer, spring and fall. In the winter, it can be brutally cold with the wind whipping by the river. Though I love the parks in the North end (by GS), I might opt to live in the part south of the WFC. It is farther from the subway, but you always have the free Downtown connection bus to take you there or whole foods or the seaport. The West village has plenty of stuff for kids, but just not as much as farther downtown, that's all. There are so many free programs run by the BPCPC and the River to River festival so there is always something going on. They are opening a new pier with a ...
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I live on the UES between 1/2 and the walk to the subway really isn't all that far. I'm home quicker than my neighbor who hops on the 86th Street bus from Lex to 1st. PS 290 is crowded but fantastic.
[ Reply | More ]I recently moved into the E 60s (far east - between 1st and York) and I can't believe how convenient it is! so many nice playgrounds, 15 min walk to Carl Shurz, 15 min walk to Central Park, not too bad a walk to the 6 @ 68, the 4, 5, N, R @ 59th, and the F and 63! It is WAY more convenient than I would have ever thought. The area also feels a little bit hidden away off the radar, which I like. And I bet you can find something for much cheaper than other areas of the UES. Just a thought...
[ Reply | More ]Thanks, I'll look at this. I love the area far east because it's away from the main chaos, and closer to the parks/playgrounds. But it does make for a harder commute to work for DH and me (we're both far west). But I will look at this again -- thanks for the tip!
[ Reply | More ]I've also become a fan of the buses... After moving here I discovered the M31 - it runs down York from 92nd st, turns on 57th, and goes all the way west! I can get from 65 and York to 57 and 7th in less than 20 minutes. Depending on where on the west side you work, that bus could be helpful. and it runs super frequently during the week (weekends not so much...)
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We live between 3/2 ave on UES and I don't think parks and playgrounds are missing. We are 4 blocks from Central Park and there are 3 additional playgrounds nearby. Plus, 2 blocks from subway and plenty of buses, good services, shoopping and nice restaurants. What's not to like :)))
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[-]do i need to provide paid vacation days and sick days for a part-time nanny? and if so, how many days?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreIt's probably up to you. How part time is she? I would prorate the vacation days and sick days based on how much she works for us. We give 2 weeks paid vacation to our full-time nanny, and, in practice, she gets more days off than that.
[ Reply | More ]if you work part time for almost any business, do you get any benefits? chances are, you do not.
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[-]exercise 101: which is best for a good workout for someone with sensitive knees-treadmill,elliptical or bike. i have always enjoyed the treadmill(i don't run) but was told it was still bad for knees. TIA
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I love the elliptical. I don't have knee problems, but I've never felt an impact on my knees.
[ Reply | More ]because you do not have knee problems..if you did, your knees would pop each time your went up or down. To OP, please ask your doctor about the best exercise for your body.
[ Reply | More ]PT and lifelong cylist here. Cycling is extremely low impact/high strengthening for knee joints. If any 'popping' is going on, the seat is too high. The proper position of saddle is well determined by pedaling backward and adjusting the height when each pedal is at its lowest, flat point. There ought never be full extension of the leg. A slight bend-even 5 degrees- is proper.Stationary bikes are critical tools in rehab therapy -esp for knees.
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[-]Does anyone here spot check their nanny? How? Nanny cam, surprise visit at the park, what do you do? Have some conserns about our nanny and want to know exaclty what goes on with our son all day.
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreyep. unexpected visits @ home both during naptime and playtime . . . also at the park. never did a nannycam.
[ Reply | More ]playdates are the best spot check. especially with SAHM kids. I have also done the spot check by giving her a very precise schdule and then taking off work and jetting down to the playground and peering in. In my dd's early years I made a huge effort to get to know the parents at the classes she attended and forged a relationship with the mom's on weekend playdates etc... so that I was in the know. The best thing I ever did was show up at home early. A lot of times these nanny's start to play on the floor with the kid about ten minutes before you get home so that you can see that they are caring for your kid. If you show up really early you can bust their asses! or if you show up at lunch or other random times. I was lucky to have my dd w...
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i cannot understand how you could go off to work knowing that you are leaving your son alone with a person that you have concerns about. well i guess he'll tell his therapist all about it someday. OF COURSE you should be making random visits home and spot checks and set up a nanny cam!!
[ Reply | More ]i agree with all of the suggestions. i also think classes are a great check. i asked my nanny to take ds to a class i normally took him too. i called the manager and asked if she and/or the teacher could keep an extra eye on my nanny to see how she was interacting with ds - if she was playful, engaged, guarding his safety etc. another mom in the class watched for me too. i got great reports and felt very relieved.
[ Reply | More ]Not planned, but I will occasionally get home early from a trip, or come in and find that she hasn't noticed I've arrived. Have mostly been fine with what I've seen. Also can ask friends/family to walk by the park or doormen or others who'd see them how the interaction seems. I also had her keep a log when DD was younger with mealtimes/amounts, diaper changes, bath checklist etc.
[ Reply | More ]I think that this is a great thing to do. I saw a nanny yesterday smoking in front of a young baby...almost right in the baby's face...I really wish the mom just came into the park that second. I'd show up at the park with a toy/treat and say that you had a break from work and wanted to bring it to her or something like that....pop in for lunch in they are at home. If you have concerns, definitely check in.
[ Reply | More ]I learned the hard way that a weird pit in my stomach about a nanny - even if I can't put my finger on it and pretty much feel good about the nanny - means something. Nothing "bad" happened, but that uneasy feeling I had about her for 5 months was a sign that she wasn't the right fit for us. Trust is the #1 thing you have to have w/r/t the person taking care of your child. Follow your instincts.
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[-]ladies who care about the written word, it is "would have...," not "would of." this is one y'all need to know.
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[-]There is a woman in my neighborhood that I am socially friendly with and see from time to time at school functions and whatnot. She is one of the organic, fruit and veggies mommies who gets upset when she sees cookies and ice cream at school functions, etc. You know the type. Well, we got invited to a block party where no kids were invited-adults only. It was fun and since DH and I work full time it was fun to meet some neighbors. Well this woman spent two hours smoking dope at this thing. So let me get this straight-sugar, cookies and ice cream are horrible but dope is okay? Am I missing something?
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI don't smoke myself, but it wouldn't bother me if someone else was smoking at a block party, as long as she wasn't blowing smoke near me. And I think it's okay to have one set of standards for your DC and another one for yourself. Hypocritical parenting is a time-old tradition, isn't it? :)
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OR: It depends on your definition of hypocrisy. Some people would say it's hypocritical to say one thing (preach healthy living) and do another (smoke, which is an unhealthy activity). I'm not anti-pot at all, but it's pretty clear that inhaling any kind of smoke (from pot, cigarettes, car exhaust, whatever) is not good for you. That said, I'd rather have DC smoke pot once in a while than cigarettes.
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so she has two different standards for things that go in her body, and things that go in her kids'. I don't think it's that big a deal.
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I also TA. Plus, cookies and ice are full of saturated fat and sugar, cause obesity and contribute to a bunch of medical problems. There aren't any health risks associated with an adult smoking pot.
[ Reply | More ]I make choices for my adult self AND my child-not others and theirs. While our family eats organic, whole and nutritionally 'living' foods, we don't freak over what others choose. I comment because I think OP has a point re: 'putting burning things into your lungs is unhealthy BUT completely disagree that marijuana has negative effects on the health of the human body; that's misinformed. Also, adults and children are entirely different and these 2 things aren't related. Where is the hypocrisy? I only read OP as defensive, judgmental and IS indeed missing something.
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Maybe it was home grown dope w/out impurities which will make it healthier (to an adult) than cookies with hfcs, hydro oils, artificial colors and preservatives. I don't smoke myself, but I would not care if another person did, as long as it was pot not cigarettes. Second hand smoke from pot causes no damage.
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You could have called the cops on her to take her down a notch on the self-righteous scale. I wouldn't, but if it made you angry enough, you could.
[ Reply | More ]You should not call cop on anyone smoking pot, expecially if they cause no disturbance. You have no idea how the system treats these people, same for a hard core crack dealer and a pot smoking mom.
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Some laws are made to be stupid. I am not going to go into that discussion, because I see no point. I know what I know and I will continue to think along the same lines, as will you. I just hope you, by accident of course, do not find yourself on the receiving end of some idiotic rule or misbegotten {
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this describes many of the parents i know and it's not far from my own philosophy. partly because smoking pot is not a daily occurrence or habit, and junk food frequently is, especially with small children. and, i have difficulty metabolizing alcohol, my body treats it like poison, so while i don't look down on people that like a drink to unwind, unfortunately i'm not one of them. you are talking about modeling good habits for children (what snacks they are given in school) and adult recreation when they aren't watching their kids- two very different things here.
[ Reply | More ]So long as she wasn't eating pot brownies or cookies she's good in her book. So what if she smoked some pot, lighten up a little and try to enjoy block parties instead of being so critical. I understand your point that this woman is judgmental in regards to unhealthy eating, but as long as she's not in your face telling you not to feed your kids that junk, then you should mind your business regarding her weed.
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