[-]Off the "DIVORCE" post what is the worst divorce you have ever heard? Me: childhood sweethearts, DH takes off with make BFF, yes he was gay.
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]couple had to live bi-coastal for work reasons at the beginning of the marriage (ny/la) but they spent every weekend together. Went on for a few months. After a vacation in HI the wife gets a call from sister saying we can't keep this from you any longer but it seems dh is leading a double life with a totally different woman.... it was heart breaking
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[-]school just instituted a no-gift policy to teachers. now we'll have to slip gifts on the sly or mail them home. i guess the mediocre teachers protested that they went home empty-handed.
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doesn't make it less true. why else would there be such a policy. seem unenforceable anyway. they can't tell families what to do with their resources.
[ Reply | Options ]do you really want an answer? because there is one, and it's logical: 1. most teachers don't like or want expensive gifts. they actually would prefer a nice drawing from your child. they also think parents who go overboard with expensive gifts are trying to buy them. 2. most schools don't like the appearance of impropriety or favoritism. 3. some parents, believe it or not, don't celebrate christmas and hanukkah. 4. some parents, also believe it or not, might not have the money to match your swanky gift.
[ Reply | Options ]The school can't tell families what to do with their resources but they can tell their employees not to accept gifts from the families. What will happen if they do is the question. If its public its almost impossible to get rid of the teachers. Privates could more easily fire them for taking gifts.
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[-]POLL: Let's consider the pros and cons of having a family in different Manhattan Neighborhoods.
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Cons: Spotty shopping north of 87th Street...But the new Whole Foods is great! Wish we had a Kmart or Target up here!
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Couldn't disagree more!!! An assortment of different restaurants--middle of the road, family/local and variety of ethic foods.
[ Reply | Options ]but restaurant per capita sucks and variety doesn't come close to downtown nabes
[ Reply | Options ]Totally agree, however, 80% of those downtown restaurants have no interest in your stroller-bound monster. I eat out frequently in the 70's and 80's and can count on 1 hand the number of restaurants where I have felt not welcome with my toddler. For date night, I can always grab a cab to Spice Market, or the Gansevoort, or etc. etc.
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pro: in addition to what others have said....lots of great restaurants/cafes/shopping con: I live on the LES, but might as well be in China. I'm having a difficult time living amongst the Fujianese. Dodging the spit, constant sound of hocking loogies, women being treated as second class citizens, lack of basic considerations....really making me crazy.
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The occational sighting of the "blue blood socialite" of years past with an outrageous hat and jewels. Makes me giggle just thinking about it!
[ Reply | Options ]ITA with the socialite thing, and grew up somewhere cheesy so I like people watching at Yura and seeing all the kids in uniforms. Pros: 92nd St Y and lots of parks, playground, museums, sports stuff (Asphalt Green, the park, etc.) for kids, quaint and not that crowded. Cons: PS198 and if you are under 70 the restaurants for date nights.
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Lots of private school kids/hunter running around the neighborhood. Impossible to find good restaurants and too stuffy.
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Pros: quiet, peaceful, calm and lovely environment. Can see the sky. Near to many schools and museums and Central Park - all easy walks. Close to public transportation - Lex subway, 86 and 96 crosstown buses, plus all the avenues and buses on Mad and Fifth that go east to west. Ever-changing foliage in park avenue medians - tulips, begonias, xmas trees. Good access to many churches and synagogues. Access to incredible resources at 92 Street Y.
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Con: Lots of Projects between amsterdamn and Columbus & 96th Street Station Construction.
[ Reply | Options ]Is living near projects really that big of a deal to people? I'm not trying to start trouble, I just honestly don't get why some people warn that there are projects nearby in certain areas like they're toxic waste plants or something. I'm not gonna lie and say I'd walk through them at night, but just their presence in the neighborhood? Subway station construction is annoying, with that I agree.
[ Reply | Options ]It isn't the safty issue (anymore), but rather the children who live here attend the local ps. Research has show the effect of social class and parent involvement on general school test score...Under Obama/Bush NCLB, that means reduced funding for low performing schools. So PS 75 draws from an UMC neighborhood (see Riverside & West End), but because of the high % of projects kids, has LOWER test scores, less parent involvement and less political clout in the DOE. We send our kid to a private BECAUSE of that reason.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, projects ARE a big deal. I wouldnt walk thru them at night, nor would i want my kids riding bikes down those streets. or walking down those streets. or being exposed to waht goes on. sorry, but yes, it IS a big deal. if u are paying thru the roof for real estate (millions), you want nice neighbors who are on the same page as u.
[ Reply | Options ]Then seriously, you cannot live in most of NYC, which can be block to block, even in the "nicest" neighborhoods. I live on CPW, and there are city housing projects within 2 blocks of my apartment. If you want everyone your DCs sees to look like you, I know some lovely suburbs you should be looking at.
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[-]Anyone know the NY family legal system well? I'm not in a relationship with my baby's father. I dont agree with his lifestyle at all and he is not responsible, wont get a real full time job etc (because apparently he is destined to be famous- ha!). I want to get child support - even tho he probably wont give me much since he wont work and I have a very good income - but I still need help!
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]file for support. just understand that he has parental rights too. (and don't make fun of the man, you had a kid with him)
[ Reply | Options ]I kept my baby because I love her... I 'had a kid with him' because I really liked that bottle of wine. I think men who refuse to step up and take on responsibility of any kind are kind of a joke.
[ Reply | Options ]Please its the same with divorce. My ex DH turned out to be a loser, you never know sometimes
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[-]Does anyone know a lot about quad screens? My results said "screen negative" so I put it out of my mind, then at my 20-week ultrasound they found an echogenic focus on the baby's heart, which they said might double by baseline risk. I went home to look at the baseline risk number and it was 1 in 69,000. This doesn't even seem like a real number, and the geneticist is not calling me back. Trying to decide if I should get an amnio...
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[-]does brushed nickel kohler faucet look nice with a white (also kohler) sink?
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[-]DIVORCE: Just read a post that said that divorced women are threats to other women AND that divorced women are pitied by their female friends. Wanted to take a poll, I have two divorced friends and I don't feel either way. Do you divorced friends? Do you pity or feel threatened by them?
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]divorced women are single and therefore as much a threat as a never married woman. maybe more if the divorcee really wants to be a married woman. and if its assumed or known that she had an affair while married that would be seen as a threat. pity is a strong word but don't you feel a little bad for any friends who don't have what you have and would like to?
[ Reply | Options ]no one has everything, so while you can feel bad for someone that his/her marriage didn't work out (which is a sad thing) it's very paternalistic to think that you are being envied
[ Reply | Options ]what if you have a friend who has said "I would like to have a husband and a family like yours someday". I don't think she envies me, I do feel a bit sad that she hasn't gotten what she says she wants.
[ Reply | Options ]I have said that to friends of mine who envy me for being single, when actually I don't want their lives at all but just to make them feel better. I think everyone does this. Friends tell me they envy me when I feel low that day, it is what friends do. I like to think we are all choosing lives that improve the past whatever that was.
[ Reply | Options ]of course, you want your friend to be happy...but pitying her would be different...probably, the only people i'd pity would be people stuck in a terrible marriage...being single certainly isn't pathetic
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I really can't consider anyone a threat because they are divorced that seems ridiculous to me. I will admit to feeling something, not pity, but something for divorced women with children. Not pity but just .... a wonder why they didn't keep it together. I am sure people might like to flame away for that but that is how I feel.
[ Reply | Options ]Well people are different and their situations are different. I am divorced and decided to leave because of things that you might be able to look beyond. Or maybe what I dealt with was far more insidious than you could ever imagine having to deal with.
[ Reply | Options ]I totally hear you. I am sure everyone has their good reasons that are right for them and their family. I guess it just makes me think about my relationship and my family?
[ Reply | Options ]if a friend of mine divorced because she was dealing with something far more insidious that I could ever imagine, I would have sympathy for her. Not because she got divorced but for having to go through the pain to get there. I realize people can be better because of overcoming the hardship but getting there can be hard.
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It depends on the friend. I do worry about one of my friends who recently divorced. She is desperately unhappy, really wanted kids, and divorced her husband because she didn't feel fulfilled (no counseling attempts). Now she is more lonely than ever! But for other friends, it was the right choice and they feel better. I don't pity or feel threatened for people who are divorced. I guess I feel sympathetic for single moms (divorced or not) because I feel like they have the hardest job in the world! Props to them.
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[-]Women who have had high risk pregnancies, please recommend a GREAT maternal-fetal medicine dr. in the city. This will be my 2nd preg., I wasn't crazy about my first MFM doctor.
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Thank you very much. Let me also add that I am high risk for two reasons- #1 I'll be 36 when I TTC and #2 I have epilepsy and take anti-epileptic drugs. Everything worked out great the first time, but I'm looking for a kinder, more attentive practice as I'm a few years older now. If anyone has epilepsy + over 35, I would appriciate feedback! TIA
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Dr. Hutson, privileges at Cornell. Only one other doctor in the practice, Dr. Kessler. Edersheim was my OB for #1, and then retried from this practice last summer. But I really like Hutson, who was actually the one who delivered ds. I am trying for a VBAC and they've been supportive. Good Luck!
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[-]Waiting to find out early (FISH) results from my CVS yesterday...please let them call this afternoon...I just want to know, even if it's bad news.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]don't worry, dear, you'll be fine. in fact, the longer you go without hearing anything, the more likely it is that everything is fine.
[ Reply | Options ]it's true of lots of medical tests. if something abnormal comes back, the doc is going to make that call first. the normal results will be reported to patients after that. which doesn't mean that an early call always means something it's wrong--could just be a slow day. just don't panic.
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[-]anyone else have a serious problem with their dh's bald spot? how do you stand to look it the shiny head?
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]my dh is incredibly kind, smart, sexy and funny, a great father and a wonderful husband. the fact that he is thinning on top doesn't even register on me. sheesh, op, priorities.
[ Reply | Options ]ummm, i am sure that you have issues too. and he probably overlooks them, because you have to except imperfections in a mate... and aging is going to happen.
[ Reply | Options ]sounds to me like you have a problem with DH, not his bald spot. otherwise you would easily be able to look past it.
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[-]If there's the dc of a celeb/"bold-named" in your dc's class is it completely 'normal'-- do they interact w/class, go to school functions. Do they befriend any of the other parents? Are your dc friends? BTW -I'm a public school parent, just curious.
60 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Good question, but I believe most people on here will feel that they are to "cool" to answer question.
[ Reply | Options ]I grew up in WashDC. Parents of my friends were household-name politicians and journalists. (Nothing like talking to BF's dad when his face is on the TV in the background.) Just act normal and talk about normal things. But don't pretend you don't know who they are.
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Hey! Sidwell alum here. Big names were everywhere. But unlike NYC, the big names in DC actually WERE important. Not just rich or famous.
[ Reply | Options ]politicians are NOT important. they are high-level bureaucrats. they are not glamorous. and they are ugly. would much rather see movie stars at curriculum night than some loser congressman.
[ Reply | Options ]Let me assure you, top pols are every bit as exciting as movie stars. And second-tier pols as boring as your average TV actor.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm the Sidwell poster and I wasn't referring only to politicians, in fact, didn't think of them in that post. Bob Woodward, Marion Wright Edelman, Mike Wallace, etc. But of course, meeting Bill and Hillary at the annual auction was cool too.
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there was a celebrity dad we knew. his wife was really nice and did all pick-up/drop-off. he was usually on tour, but when he was around he was not very nice. our kids were friends, but even at playdates, if he was around he was really cold and aloof. i think it had more to do with being a jerk than being a celebrity, though! didn't volunteer to fix/build things like many of the other dads or anything like that.
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there was one family in dd's school. very normal. mom (who was the celeb) would pick up her own kids and others after school in her suv. kids participated in plays, chorus, fundraising - just like anyone else. Parents showed up to conferences etc, no fanfare. i didnt know her personally (differnt grade)but she always said hi to me and everyone else and she had several close friends in other moms who were not celebs/super wealthy. It;s probably one of the few places where they can feel normal. their kids hung out with all the kids in their classes.
[ Reply | Options ]When I was a little girl I saw Roxie Roker and her kid at the airport. That kid, who was about my age, grew up to be that one guy on the radio. And they totally snubbed my mom and I.
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I'll bite- there is the dc of a famous actress in my ds's preschool class- I noticed this child from the get go because they are exceptionally beautiful looking- had no idea whatsoever that the parents were famous until I got the class list. This should give you a clue- they are very low key parents- the less famous parent is an active member of the school community - the much more famous one is much lower key- just modestly does pick up and drop off- some kids in the class with nannies do playdates with this child- who, despite being child model looking- is a typical charming normal 3yo-you'd never know in a million years.
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Not me, but a good friend's dc goes to school w/dc of someone extremely famous. My friend has become a "mom friend" of this actress and it is hilarious to think about b/c my friend is so down to earth and non show-biz. But the kids have play dates together etc. and she and this actress are just like regular mom friends.
[ Reply | Options ]i'm a public mom with experience with a couple bold-faced names. the ones i know are completely normal in their interactions with the class but there are boundaries. the home is pretty much off limits, personal information isn't included on the class list. that sort of thing.
[ Reply | Options ]We have the child of a very famous personality in DS's class. The Dad (the famous one) has been around upon occasiona nd his wife goes to all b'day parties etc. It must be hard for her but she sucks it up! Very good for the kid, I think. Half the class skips parties because of country houses but they go.
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[-]I am pg with # 2 and I am so much more hungry than I was with # 1. Could it be twins?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Of course it COULD be anything, including quads or more, but most likely--it's psychological because you are excited and know what to expect. Don't start eating for two just yet!
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very hungry and I HAVE to have food. Not like that at all last time (I know all pg are different etc).
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Seriously, you need to step off the drama box. I bet everyone you know already knows you are pg, you are waddling and carrying around candy bars in your purse. Come on, you haven't even been to the doctor's yet? You are painting a pretty good picture of the stereotypical look-at-me-I'm-pregnant clown.
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[-]Who here ever posed for naked/naughty pics? Any regrets? Did the guy really not let anyone see them? Or is that just what dumb women believe?
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[-]Anyone have a link to the swine flu city weekend clinics this weekend? I was waiting for the school but they just postponed them again!!
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[-]Was in a store near ps 186 (I think) and those DCs were more obnoxious and entitled than any of the girls I knew at SS tt.
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Right, a couple of obnoxious girls pretty much represent the entire public school student body. How do you know they were from public school, anyway?
[ Reply | Options ]No uniforms, upper east side about 5th grade flowing into cell phone store in Tory Burch shoes flipping their hair and speaking through their noses. And there were about three different groups of them. And you think that people on here who bash ss TT girls know EVERY girl in the entire class?
[ Reply | Options ]When you make a decision about a private school being filled with entitled celebs and money what are you going on for evidence?
[ Reply | Options ]um, the many celebs who have kids there? i think it's far less accurate to judge a public school based on a few students. privates are much smaller and much more homogeneous, socioeconomically and racially.
[ Reply | Options ]um, the few that do in each grade do not make up the whole school not even the whole grade and who is to say celeb kids are all awful?
[ Reply | Options ]i don't think celeb kids are awful. i would worry about my dc getting involved with kids who have a lot of money and not a lot of supervision. celeb/super wealthy kids seem more likely to fall into that category.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't think you understand there are plenty of wealthy dcs at public school in wealthy areas. You aren't required to have money to get to a great private in NYC you need to have intelligence, I know a lot of dumb wealthy people.
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[-]Moms with babies born during this flu season: What is your plan for going out, especially if you have an older child? I would like to carry on with our usual routines, but I am paranoid about exposing nb to crowds, germs, etc. in libraries, at classes, school, etc. Normally, I am not germaphobe, but with all the hysteria surrounding the swine flu, I am concerned. Entire family except for nb has had the swine flu vaccine.
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