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I'm getting a little insight into why for some families it's "Private or bust": DH and I are both pretty high ranking professionals in big corporations. Someone at work finally noticed that I haven't been taking time out for interviews, etc., or joining in the K admissions talk. When I tell them we really like our neighborhood public (we live in a top zone, $$ real estate) and think our twins will do great there, they look at me like I have three heads or issues they haven't heard about. I'm actually beginning to think this may affect my credibility in some way. It's really strange, and I hadn't anticipated this.
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Who cares what other people think? We can definitely afford private and both of us work in jobs where there is a plenty of private school frenzied men and women, but we like our local public and love the neighborhood aspect of the school. To each their own and just feel good that you can champion the positive aspects of the public system...assuming your twins have a great experience!
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Public schools in NYC don't exactly get good press. If people aren't familiar with the schools directly, what else are they supposed to think?
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DH & I don't work in those fields, but I've heard from friends in IB and big law that that is the case and anecdotally I've heard that this is why many move to the suburbs - so they don't have to deal with that.
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or: no, i meant in advance of the process not afterwards. i've had acquaintances who said that dh didn't think they could swing private for 2-3 kids and still feel comfortable financially so they were moving to the burbs and when iasked if they considered going public in the city, there was some version of, we thought about it but dh didn't want to deal w explaining that to his partners/colleagues - that's it's expected that you'll send your kids to private if you live in the city.
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NP: so you think people who have kids not yet old enough to apply and are moving to greenwich are somehow anticipating being shut out? there is definitely a demographic that would never consider public school in the city and are aghast when other people mention it. i have a friend whose dh was a big deal at goldman and when i told her that dc was going to lower lab she told me she's never heard of it. i explained to her that it was a public school and she said "i cannot believe that you would send your dc to public school! i know you guys can afford private" (true)
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We do very well in our jobs and most people would assume we are going private but we are seriously considering PS234 so you are definitely not alone. Many in Tribeca choose PS234 over private even if they have plenty of $.
[ Reply | More ]i have had the same experience: several people at work were surprised about my choice to send my dd to public. I also live downtown, and lots of people send their kids to public. FWIW, by the DOE data i saw, a greater percentage of downtown families in district 2 chose public compared to ues families.
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That's mighty conservative of them. What's this? Blacklisting people for liberal tendancies? Old-Boy network rearing its ugly head? FWIW, people are always flabbergasted that my kids are doing great (despite) having gone to public school. I think the problem is the joke is on them in the end. When my ds got near perfect SAT's and a very nice scholarship to go with that, everyone kept saying--did you say he went to "PUBLIC" school? Yes, Poindexter--he did.
[ Reply | More ]I am the poster immediately above and we are republican and not old-boys network and we are considering public which is what my republican DH and I both attended. Instead of automatically bucketing people into liberal and conservative, try to have an open mind. Maybe that is why people are surprised as your DS's near perfect score - because they think YOU are the close-minded idiot.
[ Reply | More ]I said nothing about Republicans. Not sure your point. I said conservative as in values. If I wanted to make a point I would have capitalized the "C". Yes, people tend to go private to avoid some of the nasty things they perceive such as people from projects, poor people, people that might not share their "values". It's a fact.
[ Reply | More ]You used the word conservative negatively and liberal positively. It is basically semantics that you didn't capitalize the "C". As to parents being negative about projects (although I don't think this OP's coworkers think her DCs will be going to public with people in the projects) I think 99% of parents don't want their DCs going to school with people in the projects - even the parents that live in the projects would rather have their DC go to a school where there is less poverty, more resources, less crime etc.
[ Reply | More ]Thanks but as someone who did grow up in the projects and ended up in an Ivy League school, as did many of my friends--from the projects--you have no idea what you're talking about. What exactly are people fearful of? My parents worked, as did my friends parents. Crimes--there are white collar crimes and blue collar crimes and welfare criminals. Considering all the cocaine just shipped to the UN I'd say some rich people are goin' to jail!
[ Reply | More ]Wow. You think like this or are you trying to get a rise? If this is for real you are totally disgusting and I hope your kid ends up with better role models than his parents. A lot of people from the projects are hard working, honest and just happen to be working in service jobs that help keep the economy running and can't afford $2,500 for rent.
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this probably wont make you feel any better but after my son got into a great school, the senior professionals at work treated me just a little bit nicer. it is strange.
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I wrote this on the other thread about the defensive public parents and it's certainly been my experience, that among well educated, very well compensated professionals, most opt for private school. We are definite outliers with a kid in G&T. It does make sense...if you have a lot of money why wouldn't you opt for gym every day, more teacher attention, better extras, better communication with parents?
[ Reply | More ]I'm the OP, and we like all those things, but they're offset by the neighborhood aspect, seem to be lots of great specials at the public, and the kids we know there seem nice and well, normal. The building looks a lot like the ones where we went to school. I guess that sort of makes it a refutation of my colleagues choices.
[ Reply | More ]Well if there's a neighborhood private with nice kids and you had an aunt paying the tuition for you, you might want to opt for gym every day etc etc. It's totally understandable. If the peer group is comparable, private is almost always better...the only negative we find is some privates have a culture of entitled kids. But apples to apples, privates always better run than publics. So yeah if your kid only gets into Trevor and Hunter, it makes sense that you would choose Hunter. But if your kid got into Collegiate and Hunter and you were comfortable with the culture at Collegiate and the SS thing (and I know many aren't) and money wasn't an issue, you would take Collegiate. Anyone who argues otherwise has a chip on their shoulder. Like I said we are public family but we do not wear rose color glasses!
[ Reply | More ]No, I disagree. If my kid got into both collegiate and hunter, no way I would pick collegiate. If my kid got into g&t in the district and collegiate, I would still pick the district g&t and I did. For us, academics is literally everything. I know that middle schools and high schools in public have much more of the focus on academics (es math and science if not languages and humanities) if they are specialized even compared to the top privates. We also care less about extras and sports than the average private parent. We send them to do sports in after school programs. Goo enough for us. Your priorities are different. The schools offer different things.
[ Reply | More ]Well I don't think you have toured at Collegiate and at Hunter or you would not think the academics are so different. In many respects, especially in the early years and middle school, the academics are stronger at Collegiate. Hunter used to be a girls school--don't fool yourself. Nothing earth shattering going in math there.
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I think you're reading too much into their reactions. Are you sure you're secure with your choice?
[ Reply | More ]People may assume one has or both have some issue, that you plan to move to the burbs shortly, that you didn't have a private education yourselves and don't understand the concept, that you want them in school with a longer day and school year, etc. But who cares? It is your decision and you're not sending them someplace awful. It's too late now anyway so take some great vacations or do something with the money you've saved.
[ Reply | More ]I’ve always liked underdogs. I think it is very cool when a kid from an unknown public school and a modest financial background proves himself better than a kid who had everything in a private school. Few years ago before my daughter went to K, I was considering private (although money would have been an issue), now I am very happy with her public district G&T in Queens. I’m quite content we are not in private and to be honest, even if someone would offer her a free spot in a top private school, I would not want her there. There is something to be said about kids who succeed no matter what.
[ Reply | More ]I thought the issue was no one is guaranteed to get their zoned public (among other issues).
[ Reply | More ]Not living in your world, but I have always thought people were smart to buy in neighborhoods zoned for a fabulous public school. After all, you can sell your home (often with appreciation) but you can't sell a private school education.
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