123 magic. Tring to understand this method. Why count to 3? Why not express to Dc that you are serious right away? Is it laziness?

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  • 123 magic. Tring to understand this method. Why count to 3? Why not express to Dc that you are serious right away? Is it laziness?

    33 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    • Gives the child a chance to self correct, so they can learn to modify their own behavior.

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      01.19.10, 12:31 PM Flag
    • give them a chance to fix the "bad" behavior themselves before eventually getting the "punishment" of the time out.

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      01.19.10, 12:32 PM Flag
      • ^^did you read it op? the reasoning is pretty obvious I thought.

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        01.19.10, 12:33 PM Flag
        • No. Trying to decide if it's worth it. Dc is 3 and terrible listener.

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          01.19.10, 12:36 PM Flag
          • works very well for us. And have been doing it for about a year (dd 2.5). We go through phases where "it doesn't work" but it is more because I get too emotional or talk to much wich the book tottaly warns about.

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            01.19.10, 12:38 PM Flag
            • That exact point was the #1 thing I got out of the book. To stay calm, and not let your own emotions get the upper hand.

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              01.19.10, 12:48 PM Flag
    • what is that? pls.

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      01.19.10, 12:32 PM Flag
      • pls explain..is this some kind of a new behavior tool?

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        01.19.10, 12:33 PM Flag
        • It's a book. Basically a slight twist on time outs.

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          01.19.10, 12:34 PM Flag
        • its a book that explains how to start doing timeouts as punishments but you count to three before giving the time out so the child can stop the behavior him/herself ideally.

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          01.19.10, 12:36 PM Flag
    • i don't count to three - i start at 3 and count down. dd thought counting up was a game. now (after 1 month of magic 123) all i do is say 3 and then she stops what she is doing and counts down for me. it works. I don't think it is laziness but thanks for trying to make me feel inadequate.

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      01.19.10, 12:35 PM Flag
      • oh...this is not new..i've been doing this forever,, and my mother before me..we always go "1-2-2.5-3!!!! that's it!" my son stops by 2

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        01.19.10, 12:38 PM Flag
    • You tell them you are going to count to 3, so they can change their behavior before you get to 3. My mom did this to me when I was a kid - if she got to 3 we got the equivalent of a 'time out' or whatever the punishment was. My daughter JUST started responding to this (she will be 3 this month). I count to 1, then tell her this is her warning, then 2, and by 3 she shapes right up.

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      01.19.10, 12:36 PM Flag
    • i always get to three - and my son does not care. :(

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      01.19.10, 12:44 PM Flag
      • No one thing is going to work on every kid. Good luck.

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        01.19.10, 12:47 PM Flag
      • do you smack 'em after you finish counting?...just kidding! i deny dvd viewing for that day and if i have to count to three more than a few times a week we are not going anywhere on weekends, that

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        01.19.10, 12:49 PM Flag
        • yes, i need to follow thru more. dvd woudl kill him. good one

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          01.19.10, 12:57 PM Flag
      • Do you put him in timeout after 3?

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        01.19.10, 12:50 PM Flag
        • it is usually bedtme that i do this and timeout wouldnt work.

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          01.19.10, 12:59 PM Flag
          • Try it for times other than bedtime, get it to work then. Are you talking about putting them to sleep? That's not 123.

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            01.19.10, 01:00 PM Flag
            • i was. what do you do then?

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              01.19.10, 01:02 PM Flag
              • np: think of things/activities that would be effective if taken away. And be calm, consistent and keep it simple. We sometimes do timeouts but if its bedtime I will say "if I get three, you can't play with your babies all day tomorrow" This kills her and it only had to happen once or twice before she knew I meant business. I use this about cleaning up if she won't help.

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                01.19.10, 01:10 PM Flag
                • ^^sorry didn't read above post correctly, didn't realize it was for putting to sleep. Not sure on that one. The book may say you can use it but I"m not sure how to approach that

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                  01.19.10, 01:11 PM Flag
              • Depends on your approach of AP (Dr. Sears) or CIO (Dr. Ferber or Weissbluth.)

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                01.19.10, 01:26 PM Flag
      • My daughter counts with me and then throws her arms up in the air like we are having a party because she is misbehaving!

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        01.19.10, 01:01 PM Flag
      • time outs don't work for 3 yo dd either - she can sit in a chair amusing herself for a good 1/2 hour. But, take away My Little Pony or the infuriatingly difficult to dress tiny princess dolls with rubber dresses and it's like charming a snake.

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        01.19.10, 01:06 PM Flag
        • I hate those dolls. who came up with the idea of rubber dresses? really bad idea. my dc gets so frustrated with those dolls.

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          01.19.10, 01:24 PM Flag
    • For serious infractions, then yes, you go straight to three. Otherwise, you give the DC a chance to correct.

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      01.19.10, 12:50 PM Flag
    • The count of 3 is also to keep the adult calm--do that you are not showing emotion and talking in between counts ("I asked you not to do that already" "You know better" etc etc etc) AND, so that you can be calm if you need to carry your DC to a time out so that you aren't using force.

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      01.19.10, 08:28 PM Flag
    • I've never heard of this 123 Magic, except on UB. I count to 5 before I mean business. Maybe I should write a book? I could make millions.

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      01.19.10, 08:31 PM Flag
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