UrbanBaby Asks...
Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
- I really don't enjoy it at all, and wish I could spend less time with them
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123 magic. Tring to understand this method. Why count to 3? Why not express to Dc that you are serious right away? Is it laziness?
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moregive them a chance to fix the "bad" behavior themselves before eventually getting the "punishment" of the time out.
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i don't count to three - i start at 3 and count down. dd thought counting up was a game. now (after 1 month of magic 123) all i do is say 3 and then she stops what she is doing and counts down for me. it works. I don't think it is laziness but thanks for trying to make me feel inadequate.
[ Reply | More ]You tell them you are going to count to 3, so they can change their behavior before you get to 3. My mom did this to me when I was a kid - if she got to 3 we got the equivalent of a 'time out' or whatever the punishment was. My daughter JUST started responding to this (she will be 3 this month). I count to 1, then tell her this is her warning, then 2, and by 3 she shapes right up.
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do you smack 'em after you finish counting?...just kidding! i deny dvd viewing for that day and if i have to count to three more than a few times a week we are not going anywhere on weekends, that
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Try it for times other than bedtime, get it to work then. Are you talking about putting them to sleep? That's not 123.
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np: think of things/activities that would be effective if taken away. And be calm, consistent and keep it simple. We sometimes do timeouts but if its bedtime I will say "if I get three, you can't play with your babies all day tomorrow" This kills her and it only had to happen once or twice before she knew I meant business. I use this about cleaning up if she won't help.
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My daughter counts with me and then throws her arms up in the air like we are having a party because she is misbehaving!
[ Reply | More ]time outs don't work for 3 yo dd either - she can sit in a chair amusing herself for a good 1/2 hour. But, take away My Little Pony or the infuriatingly difficult to dress tiny princess dolls with rubber dresses and it's like charming a snake.
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The count of 3 is also to keep the adult calm--do that you are not showing emotion and talking in between counts ("I asked you not to do that already" "You know better" etc etc etc) AND, so that you can be calm if you need to carry your DC to a time out so that you aren't using force.
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