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  • do any of you ever worry about having your dc is a constant culture of achievement as opposed to just being? serious question - this goes for all NYC schools - publics and privates

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    11.21.09, 07:14 AM [ Flag ]

    • I think the culture of private or private TT schools on this board is hyped and exaggerated. People who have not attended themselves or who are applying or have DCs somewhere and want to sing its praises make it sound as if these dcs are living in a bubble of pressure and achievement. It really is not the case. It is a far more nurturing environment and the attitude toward achievement is balanced with feeding creativity and strengths in areas other than math etc.

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      11.21.09, 07:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • right but i just meant NYC aquisitiveness in general

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        11.21.09, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • new york city has always been about drive and success, amassing more and more money. I am from here and my family managed to raise three very low key children who went to private and had thing, some things, but focused on the correct way to live. Its about who is raising you not who your neighbors are.

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          11.21.09, 07:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • I mostly agree with you but I have also lived in some very downscale areas during parts of my life and when everyone has very little you would be surprised at how the subliminal differences and the toll NYC can take on a person.

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            11.21.09, 07:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

            • OK I don't get your point really. Will your experiences and expectations be different in you lived on the UWS as opposed to a low income housing development in Arkansas? Yes. But really why do you want your child to have the low income arkansas experience? Why not give them opportunities and the knowledge to succeed with a balance of realism about life. I don't understand this strange desire among the elite her to expose their children to poverty to keep them 'grounded'. There is no such thing.

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              11.21.09, 07:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

            • I have often wondered: are NY area kids more competitive because they grew up here, or because their parents are more competitive and live in NY because of their personalities?

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              11.21.09, 08:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Yes! DC is in kindergarten at a school that makes learning experiential and not based on achievement or competition. I've been thinking a lot about "just being"

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      11.21.09, 07:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Totally. I think families with younger children may not be seeing this yet.

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      11.21.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • ITA - perspective changes dramatically when you are dealing with a "person" vs. your little fantasy child

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        11.21.09, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • I think often the pressure comes from the kids themselves. There are few kids who are almost like geniuses who just absorb everything instantly and have always been several grades levels above. Even though all the rest of the kids are very bright in their own right, they compare themselves to those few kids (let say top 10%) and want to be in that top 10% and for these 90% of kids, they have to put in so many hours to perform at the same level as those kids who only need, say, 30 min.

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      11.21.09, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • OMG - I think the opposite - that they get so much pressure from their ultra competitive type A parents.

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        11.21.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Yes. I think this is a very valid question. I find myself fighting my own type A upbringing for my dc all the time, though not that successfully.

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      11.21.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • I completely agree- though I think some is genetic because I have discovered that some of my kids got my type A gene and some kids did not. I try to keep all of my kids out of hyper-competitive groups though because environmental influences seep in, no matter how much I say "it doesn't matter, this is just for fun."

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        11.21.09, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • me too

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        11.21.09, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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