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school just instituted a no-gift policy to teachers. now we'll have to slip gifts on the sly or mail them home. i guess the mediocre teachers protested that they went home empty-handed.
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doesn't make it less true. why else would there be such a policy. seem unenforceable anyway. they can't tell families what to do with their resources.
[ Reply | Options ]do you really want an answer? because there is one, and it's logical: 1. most teachers don't like or want expensive gifts. they actually would prefer a nice drawing from your child. they also think parents who go overboard with expensive gifts are trying to buy them. 2. most schools don't like the appearance of impropriety or favoritism. 3. some parents, believe it or not, don't celebrate christmas and hanukkah. 4. some parents, also believe it or not, might not have the money to match your swanky gift.
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sorry, my mom was a teacher, many of my friends are teachers, and i know ds's teachers right away. they're not waiters, looking for a tip.
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maybe you wouldn't, but i would absolutely refuse cash if i were a teacher. in fact i refuse expensive gifts all the time in my job. not everyone is craven like you, op.
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wow -- aren't you sanctimonious? Not only are teachers underpaid, the good ones especially, but they're expected to reach into their own pocket to pay for certain classroom supplies. Teaching is a job, not a calling. Paying the good ones more, no matter how the money arrives, keeps them around. You sound like another rich lady who has no idea how the world really operates.
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1. when did you conduct your survey of all teachers? 2. surveyed all schools? 3. holiday gift/end of year gift 4. who says gift has to match and how would those poor parents know what i gave?
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The school can't tell families what to do with their resources but they can tell their employees not to accept gifts from the families. What will happen if they do is the question. If its public its almost impossible to get rid of the teachers. Privates could more easily fire them for taking gifts.
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This makes sense to me. There are so many potential problems with giving individual teacher gifts. I believe it's unethical for teachers to accept cash gifts. It's prohibited ethically in many professions for good reason. Even postal carriers aren't supposed to accept gifts over $20 value.
[ Reply | Options ]The real problem is that some people will give gifts anyway, and others will wonder if they should or shouldn't.
[ Reply | Options ]Our school has this rule; however, the PA collects money from all families and divides it up among all people at the school.
[ Reply | Options ]I think this is worse. Some of the teachers really do suck and if the parents of her students don't give she'll still get $/gifts from being subsidized by others.
[ Reply | Options ]This is really a strange post. I give gifts to my child's teachers to show how much I appreciate their hard work. I give gifts to every teacher. This is something I feel strongly about and choose to do. Not everyone feels the same way, and that is fine. I try not to go overboard, but to find something thoughtful - a book, a plant, tickets to an event, sometimes something else that I really think they would enjoy. Gifts are not forbidden at our school, and many people, but not all, do give them. I don't think anyone is trying to "bribe" their kids teacher. That is ridiculous. I really want to show my appreciation for the great job they are doing.
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So do you only give gifts to teachers you like? I've honestly never heard of that before. I give [small] gifts to all the teachers b/c they're all working really hard. It's not a reward; it's a token of appreciation. There is a policy at our school for a max of $20 per family to be distributed evenly throughout the faculty and staff. It makes total sense to me. Expensive gifts are OTT and inappropriate, and whether or not a parent is genuinely attempting to bribe or buy a teacher, a teacher can feel obligated to show preference to a student if they have accepted a large gift--I've seen it happen on both sides: the teacher, as well as a parent who thinks she deserves something from the teacher b/c of the gift she gave.
[ Reply | Options ]I am unsure what your definition of a large gift is. I might spend only $20.00, but I also might spend $100.00, if t is something particular I think someone would enjoy. i absolutely have no doubt in my mind that it would never be considered a "bribe." The teachers at my child's school are consummate professionals. I think the idea that a teacher would feel bribed is insulting. As for a parent who thinks they have succeeded in bribing a teacher - well, that is just laughable.
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My great aunt was a teacher for years and years. When she died and we cleared out her apartment, she had closets full, full, full of gifts she had gotten over the years. You have no idea how many boxes of notepaper, and candy cups she has stashed away that she had never used or opened. FYI - I KNOW she would have been insulted by cash.
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I work at a school with a no-gift policy - apparently a few years ago, gifts were getting very extravagant and out of control. Now class mom collects from all families and there is a $100 limit per teacher. Mostly, each teacher gets a $100 gift card from the class at Christmas and another at end-of-year, along with some small token (something that the kids worked on, etc.) As much as I love the cards/drawings from my kiddos, the gift card is very nice too! A lot of families also give a small token gift - a book, nice candy, picture frame, candles - those are also very appreciated.
[ Reply | Options ]We contribute $20 to class parent for gift card from class and give a homemade baked treat at Thanksgiving with a thank you card made by student.
[ Reply | Options ]JUST FOLLOW THE RULES. People are so out of control. If the school has instituted this rule, I am sure there is a reason. At our school, parents gave completely inappropriate (read extravagant) gifts. If you want to help the teachers so much, make a gift to the school or buy something for the classroom. OY.
[ Reply | Options ]I've been teaching at a TT school on the UES for 5 years. I get the most incredible gifts: Chanel bags, Gucci totes, Prada shoes, designer jewelry. One year I got a VanCleef bracelet. I kid you not. I can't say that I don't want these gifts, because I enjoy them. I appreciate that someone is spending a lot of money as a gift to me--because they can and want to. I don't look at them as bribes or as their way of "buying" me personally. Quite honestly, I think the whole private school system is about money and power. Those who give more, get more. That starts from the application process and continues all through 12th grade. So yes, while I appreciate handmade things and save each and every picture I get, I don't refuse the expensive items because frankly, I'm surrounded by them every day (my students wear fancier shoes than I do) and could never afford them on my salary. I actually prefer gifts over cash or gift cards because the choices are more thought out. And the moms have better fashion sense than me anyway. Or at least their assistants do.
[ Reply | Options ]I am a teacher and I have gotten some expensive gifts and some great ones. I definitely prefer the handmade thank you cards and I have letters that I still read from 10 years ago. I really hate getting presents, I just want cards. It makes me feel weird to have people spend so much money on me.
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UrbanBaby Asks...
Are you expecting something special from your dh for Valentine's Day?
- Yes, and he's in big trouble if he forgets.
- Yes, but it's not something I care about.
- No, thank goodness.
- No, and I'm already fuming. He's so unromantic!
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