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Anyone know the NY family legal system well? I'm not in a relationship with my baby's father. I dont agree with his lifestyle at all and he is not responsible, wont get a real full time job etc (because apparently he is destined to be famous- ha!). I want to get child support - even tho he probably wont give me much since he wont work and I have a very good income - but I still need help!
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]file for support. just understand that he has parental rights too. (and don't make fun of the man, you had a kid with him)
[ Reply | Options ]I kept my baby because I love her... I 'had a kid with him' because I really liked that bottle of wine. I think men who refuse to step up and take on responsibility of any kind are kind of a joke.
[ Reply | Options ]Please its the same with divorce. My ex DH turned out to be a loser, you never know sometimes
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Well, since you think he is so bad, why would you want to open the door for possible visitation rights with db? I am in same situation, and did not pursue $ from father, as I did not want dc to be with him at all. And he has never wanted to see dc, so it makes life simpler for me.
[ Reply | Options ]didn't know if there was a way to get financial support but only have to give limited/supervised limitation. He wants visitation but not any responsibility.
[ Reply | Options ]Well, no judge is going to take your word that he is unfit father. So you would need to prove i. Big $$. And be careful, he gets a clever lawyer, and you might end up paying support to him if he is not working but wants to see child.
[ Reply | Options ]i hope an email from his mom confirming his coke use, photos of him partying all night through my pregnancy at weird parties with naked guys and his living in a 5x7 room with no bathroom kitchen or water would suffice??
[ Reply | Options ]It would help, but you would be surprised in NY. I had page 6 story about dh's drug use to back up my side of the story, and judge would not discuss it.
[ Reply | Options ]Can I just ask though, why do you want to have any contact with such a f-up? It surely can't be about the money? Do you want to get him to become more responsible? Why do you care at this point? Isn't it time to move on, and not even think about this guy and his problems? You sound great, maybe you should get on with your life, meet someone else etc.
[ Reply | Options ]Its one of the options I'm considering.. and would prefer. But I think I get a little freaked out about finances, with the nanny and the bigger apartment... and also think he should grow up and take some responsibility. I know he wants to know her but then I feel that it should be in moderation and with him contributing financially
[ Reply | Options ]I guess you would have to get a 3rd party to supervise, (I am assuming you don't want to have to hang around) It would be nice for db to have relationship with dad, perhaps set up school fund for db, have hi contribute into it, after 6 months or so of regular payments, maybe consider visits of a few hours at a time. Unless you want to go to court etc, you could perhaps figure out something between you. And with his parents too?
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UrbanBaby Asks...
Are you expecting something special from your dh for Valentine's Day?
- Yes, and he's in big trouble if he forgets.
- Yes, but it's not something I care about.
- No, thank goodness.
- No, and I'm already fuming. He's so unromantic!
- Don't know...
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UB Like it's 1776!
Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)
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