11.20.09, 10:00 AM 13 replies
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DH is giving me a hard time about not breastfeeding. He makes snide little remarks about how he hopes our DB doesn't get sick now that he's no longer getting the immunities from breastmilk. I nursed DS#1 for 18 months, but I really don't want to nurse DB anymore. He's 6mo and I think it's ok to stop now. I know it's not ideal, but I just don't want to do it and it's making me feel resentful.

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11.20.09, 10:00 AM Flag ]
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  • DH is giving me a hard time about not breastfeeding. He makes snide little remarks about how he hopes our DB doesn't get sick now that he's no longer getting the immunities from breastmilk. I nursed DS#1 for 18 months, but I really don't want to nurse DB anymore. He's 6mo and I think it's ok to stop now. I know it's not ideal, but I just don't want to do it and it's making me feel resentful.

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    11.20.09, 10:00 AM Flag ]
    • Why don't you ask him to spend one of his days fake breastfeeding, i.e., sitting down doing absolutely nothing holding the baby for 20 - 30 minutes however many times a day db eats. Also pull on his nipples a few times just for emphasis.

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      11.20.09, 10:02 AM Flag
    • tell him to pay for a wetnurse

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      11.20.09, 10:04 AM Flag
    • Wow. Snide little remarks are uncalled for. I'm not even sure it's proven that at that age, breastfeeding helps with immunity. N=1, but I breasfed for 9 months and baby still got sick a few times. If you've calmly explained the reasons you no longer feel comfortable BF'ing, he needs to understand that it's better for a baby to be bottlefed than to have a mother who is resentful and unhappy.

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      11.20.09, 10:04 AM Flag
    • Tell your dh that there is some amazing medicine that he can take, so that he can breastfeed himself. It is easy to criticize when you are not the one doing the feeding! Your dh should not be giving you a hard time about this.

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      11.20.09, 10:09 AM Flag
    • OP: The reason for the remarks is due to the fact that our eldest has never been sick, not even a fever and he's 3yo. He attributes it all to the breastfeeding, but I know plenty of breastfed babies who have still gotten sick.

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      11.20.09, 10:12 AM Flag
      • ridiculous, ours was bf and got colds all the time

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        11.20.09, 10:16 AM Flag
        • Me too. I breast fed for 6 months and dd got sick twice during that time, but between 6 and 18 months she didn't get sick once and I hardly think it has anything to do with whether I was breastfeeding or not.

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          11.20.09, 11:03 AM Flag
    • the biggest benefit of immunities comes in the first few weeks of bfing. Your DH doens't even make sense. I stopped at 6 months and think that's pretty common.

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      11.20.09, 10:18 AM Flag
    • that's crazy. don't let him get to you...there is no reason you should feel bad about stopping. I bf my first for 8 months, and he still got a double ear infection at 7 months! My second I had to stop at 6 weeks because she has a milk protein allergy and going completely dairy free didn't help. So be proud that you were able to make it 6 months!

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      11.20.09, 10:43 AM Flag
    • Don't feel guilty, 6 months is actually longer than most people keep it up! DH needs to relax and stop obsessing. IME it's not lack of bf, but rather exposure to other kid's germs (through older sibs or daycare) that leads to babies getting colds, and that's just part of life, no way to avoid it. Your db will be fine.

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      11.20.09, 10:57 AM Flag
    • Give him Atlantic Monthly article to read--google it, it's called The Case Against Breastfeeding. A lot of the pro-breastfeeding hype has not been founded on scientific studies, but theory.

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      11.20.09, 11:17 AM Flag
    • db#2 will get exposed to more because db#1 will bring it home - it will also help db#2 build his immunity system. Any mom (or pediatrician) will tell you that firstborns always get fewer illnesses. No one should ever make snide remarks to a mom with a young baby - his job is to be supportive. GL

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      11.21.09, 11:23 AM Flag
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