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bday present etiquette. 3 yo DD was invited to a birthday party for last weekend of a kid that was in her preschool class last year. I'm not close with the mother, but we have a bunch of friends in common and have gone out to to dinner on occasion. i'm 9 months pregnant and felt really sick last weekend and emailed her that i didnt feel well and that we would not be able to make the party (it was 5pm last sunday). She never returned my email (i guess i was expecting a "hope you feel better" or "Are you ok" or we'll miss you" or something). Do i go out of my way to get the present to the kid at this point? we never speak on phone or have playdates, and kids dont even go to same prschool anymore. I sort of feel like she should have asked how i am, no?
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You bagged at the last minute and now expect the other mom to ask after your well-being and/or make arrangements to get the gift? Sorry, but no. You should have said in your email that you'd like to make future arrangements to get gift to her dc. Better yet, you should have called her in case she didn't see the email before the party. Doesn't matter if she's your bf or a distant acquaintance, manners are manners!
[ Reply | Options ]np ITTTA, particularly with the bit about the gift. Anytime I'd received last minute regrets, the person ALWAYS mentions that they'll arrange to get the gift to dc (and they do). I've never had to send regrets after saying "yes", but would definitely see that the dc gets our gift. OP sounds like one of those "I'm the only woman on earth who's ever been pg" types.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: She is 9 months pregnant. If I was the birthday kid's mom, I would have totally understood. She may have not received the email, or she may have just been so busy with the party that replying slipped her mind. I wouldn't worry about the present. Honestly, birthday presents are a hassle for the parents a lot of the time anyway--they clutter our already crowded apartments! This is not worth worrying about.
[ Reply | Options ]Why couldn't dh take the kid to the party? If that wasn't possible, of course I'd understand they couldn't make it, but honestly, being pg or sick or whatever is not an excuse to treat people with disrespect. Meaning, OP should have called and offered to get together on another date to give the gift and not try and turn it around as if the hostess now has to make a move.
[ Reply | Options ]No, of course I wouldn't expect the hostess to have to do anything. But I think most parents would be understanding about pregnancy, being sick, etc. I would definitely ask my DH to take my child to the party before canceling--I actually had to do that last week because I am sick and pregnant! But maybe he was out of town or something?
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It doesn't seem like you are that close. Plus, your 9 months pregnant and since she has had kids she probably knows how it feels to be 9 months pregnant. She probably thought it was ust pregnancy related b/c it is a major pain to do anything at 9 months, especially be around a bunch of kids. She probably thought it was pregnancy related and didn't think any more about it. Plus I got annoyed when everyone was always asking me "Are you okay?" every 5 seconds when I was 9 months.
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