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  • Longest fight (including silent treatment) w/DH? How resolve?

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    11.05.09, 09:32 AM [ Flag ]

    • started silent treatment about 10 minutes ago. will let you know. grrrr.

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      11.05.09, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • need more info. what was fight about?

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      11.05.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • DH called me on cell phone and really yelled at me about something that came in the mail that he thought I had screwed up administratively (I had not - that's been proven with no apology from him)...I came home and told him if he ever did that again, since it was abusive and no reason he couldn't ask me civilly about the problem, I would leave him and that my mother (eek!) agreed!!! I have also been giving silent treatment b/c cannot believe once it was totally proven that administrative task done perfectly by me, that he didn't concede that and apologize...I may have overplayed my hand by threatening to leave, but am really sick of getting yelled at whenever anything appears to go wrong and normally gets resolved, but his first reaction is to call me and yell at me.

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        11.05.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • Your husband sounds like my wife. It's okay to flip out but once all the cards are on the table and each side was understood apologizes should be made for overreactions. Somehow some people lack this part and think it is always justified because at that time that's just how they felt.

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          11.05.09, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • DH usually doesn't notice when he's getting the silent treatment.

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      11.05.09, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • I would say overnight- about 18 hours. maybe 24 tops. It's not worth fighting after that point, all anger is diffused. We've had disagreements that have lasted much longer and just keep popping up every so often.

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      11.05.09, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • Agree - totally not worth fighting after that, but I just can't shake feeling that I was really owed an apology...I know men rarely apologize - but this was so blatant that I had done the administrative thing correctly ...how could he completely not concede that???

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        11.05.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • because he is pig-headed and stubborn? I'm just kidding. I would be annoyed too, and I would probably bring it up on occasion in the future, just to rub it in his face. "Wait, let me go get my cell, so you can call me and bitch me out because the dry cleaner lost your pants. That seemed to work well for you last week...." This is totally bad advice, but it's probably how I would handle it.

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          11.05.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • 30 minutes. DH is not big on the silent treatment, he wants to make up ASAP. It's been a struggle for me because I need time to decompress and DH NEEDS to be lovey and make everything right.

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      11.05.09, 09:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • you are lucky - mine carries grudge endlessly and NEVER tries to make up...usually we have to wait for some deux ex machina to be sufficiently distracting that we start inadvertently speaking to each other.

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        11.05.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • longest "problem time" was over a year. no silent treatment. resolved by talking it through.

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      11.05.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • 2 days--Neither DH or I can keep the anger up.

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      11.05.09, 10:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • We've been fighting for over a year. Thank god for divorce.

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      11.05.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Two days just before DB was born. I honestly cannot remember what it was about or why we were both being so stubborn. Our next longest fight is probably like hours.

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      11.05.09, 01:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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