UrbanBaby - WWYD - long story but 4 yo dc has a frie...

new post » see more posts »

WWYD - long story but 4 yo dc has a friend that he has known his entire life. the little boy is very aggressive - he hits, curses, and is generally unpleasant. but i understand some of this because his parents are having marital difficulties. the mom and i are no longer really in touch - she and i have different parenting approach/style. My ds still talks about this friend all the time and asks if they can get together to play. I don't think it is ever going to happen again. Do I just keep putting off my ds, or explain the situation? If I explain the situation, what would I say?
7 replies
[ Reply | Watch | Options ]
11.04.09, 05:32 PM [ Flag ]
- I have a similar situation. I just say oh I don't think child's name is available for a playdate. Eventually my dd stopped asking. When other kids behavior starts to negatively effect my kid I just don't allow them to be around those kids.
  [ Reply | Options ]
  11.04.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - ^^oops that should be isn't available
    [ Reply | Options ]
    11.04.09, 05:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - i would explain it in great detail and say that "friend" does and says inappropriate things that our family doesn't allow and go on the list the things and the reasons why you and dh don't approve.
      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.04.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - ^^it's a teaching moment.
        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.04.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - ok, thanks. i have been saying that, but it seems his requests are increasing. appreciate your input!
      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.04.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - i think if your ds wants to play, the hitting and unpleasantness is not as big a deal to him as it is to you. i recently went through the same thing and realized i was not allowing my ds to deal with things himself. also, at 4 lots of ds are physically aggressive. i would allow my ds to have playdates occasionally with this ds.
        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.04.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- explain the situation? by which you mean you would say to ds, "even though you like this boy, i don't and the reason i don't is because i think he is acting out because his mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore." wtf? don't be an a$$. let you ds play with this kid whom he obviously likes and stop thinking he is going to somehow be corrupted.
  [ Reply | Options ]
  11.04.09, 06:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]