Trying to make tough decision: had preemie born almost 3 months early. Spent most of maternity leave going back and forth to NICU. After just a few weeks with baby at home, I have to go back to work. Baby will only be two weeks old adjusted, so still TINY. I am contemplating quitting my job. After nanny (for older child), metro pass, etc., I only net $800 from working. However, I carry the health insurance. We would have to pay $1,200/month out of pocket for insurance through DH's company (by eating into our savings). And we could just barely squeak by on husband's salary alone as far as monthly expenses. This would be a short-term situation (plan to move out of this area to somewhere with a lower standard of living by next fall). Have already cut expenses to the bone. No extras. The idea of leaving a preemie who almost died, had tubes and wires all over and who has no immune system is heartbreaking. We've already missed out on so much bonding and I feel that he needs me. We still don't know what problems, challenges are ahead for him. And he needs breastmilk for immunity, but continuing to pump at work for such a young, constantly feeding baby will be nearly impossible. And I will be in the no-sleeping newborn stage and having to drag myself to work every day. Also don't know if nanny can handle tiny newborn and active toddler. It's different if it's your kids, your home. I will try to freelance a bit to cover some of the gap, but am I crazy to quit and burn through my savings? No option to do flex or part time work with current job. Please help! I am making myself sick over this decision.

• Newborn
• Special Needs