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How would you handle this at home? Received call from ds's school that he hit another child (he's in K). School took away some privileges for the day. Should I just discuss with him, or should we have consequences at home as well?
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ditto-- also FWIW my dd got pushed down the stairs last year (cracked the back of her head on the step) and the mother of the child who pushed her never spoke to me about it which I thought was rude.
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OR: It was another girl who pushed DD. A mom saw it and the assistant teacher saw it and said it was definitely deliberate. It was right before pickup so when the mom of the other girl walked into the classroom she saw DD with an ice pack on the back of her head crying. So she knew who the victim was. I'm actually mad again thinking about it but I let it go. I know the mom and the girl and they are nice enough. I don't think the mom thought the teacher would tell me who did it.
[ Reply | Options ]damn. I would have been livid. can't believe the mom never said anything to you. what sort of action did the school take? was this in a private school?
[ Reply | Options ]I was so angry. But I kept thinking that the mother was waiting for an appropriate moment to say something. I was stunned when she didn't. Then I realized that DH and I were talking about it (probably a lot) in front of DD and it was stressing her out. So I tried to chill out. The teacher spoke to the mom about it immediately and then later the dad assured the teacher that privileges were taken away. This was in a private pre-K-- I was also new to the school thing so wasn't sure what to do.
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are you a teen mother? your reaction to this sounds like you are in middle school. "OMG, I can't believe she didn't say *anything* to be it just makes me like so mad thinking about it. " This wasn't about you and her and was appropriately handled through the teachers and school.
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discuss and have consequences. hear his side and sympathize if that's appropriate but make him understand that he needs to use his words or find a grown-up if he gets angry or upset with another dc's behavior.
[ Reply | Options ]hijack: why is it always, "use HIS words" or "use YOUR words" instead of just "use words." this has always bugged me for some reason.
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still, it's illogical and annoying. words aren't "yours" and should't be posessive; hands and feet are and can be.
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NP: technically, the poster with the issue is correct, but I think that the incorrect usage is too prevalent at this point to fight this fight.
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incorrect usage? so the phrase "tell me in your own words what happened that night" is incorrect because "words" can't take a possessive? god, the level of illiteracy on this board (and worse, the illiterates pretending they know what they're talking about) is astounding.
[ Reply | Options ]different context, usage and intent--and you know exactly what I'm talking about.
[ Reply | Options ]no. i don't. "your words" is "your words." are you the one who said it can't take a possessive and i proved you wrong and you're sputtering about context, usage and intent (none of which are different in my example)? pathetic.
[ Reply | Options ]see below regarding the word "own" in this context. are you unable to recognize the subtleties of the english language and admit that usage and intent are relevant here? I suppose you are one of those mealy-mouthed parents...and so hostile, too. interesting.
[ Reply | Options ]When you say 'your words' to a young child, you really mean speech, which is not what you mean when you say that to an adult.
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NP: the phrase "your own words" is qualified by the word "own," and is clarifying that you won't be quoting someone else or passing their statement off as your own.
[ Reply | Options ]ok, how about this then from william shakespeare: "my words fly up, my thoughts remain below. words without thoughts never to heaven go." is he a moron who doesn't know about context, usage and intent as well?
[ Reply | Options ]wow. you went and dug that up? impressive. again, note the subtleties of the english language, particularly in art. no one is calling shakespeare a moron (and he certainly took liberties with the language). I'm just saying that in the context of that ineffectual parenting phrase, the use of "your words" is inappropriate and illogical. I'm off now. Have a great evening.
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you need to send him to a socialization group so that he learns the words to express his feelings. Hitting is only a sign of not being able to express himself.
[ Reply | Options ]I am going to disagree with everyone about taking away privileges at home. I actually spoke to our school psychologist about this very issue. She felt (and I agree) that until around 7 years old, kids don't really retain the value of losing privileges after the fact when something like this occurs. It needs to be deal with immediately in the context of school, and it should also be handled in a conflict mediation type approach between the children. Then you should reinforce the messages that the school emphasizes at home (i.e. school is a safe place for everyone, it is not ok to hit anyone, it is not ok to do things that make other children feel unsafe) and reinforce that you know what happened and it is not acceptable. And depending on the circumstances of the behavior, you could talk to the other parents or not, that is up to you in my opinion.
[ Reply | Options ]First I would ask my child what happened, some 5 year old can not properly tell another adult what happened- depending on the story - i'd react differently. If he randomly hit another child for no reason then I would have consequences at home to reinforce the teacher but if the 2 children were fighting then I would reinforce "no hitting" and better ways to manage the problem.
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