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  • i know i'll get the 1950s housewife ridicule, but here's my question. dh takes a bus to a train to get to work. i started sahm'ing a couple of months ago and dh wants me drive him to the train every day. since i'm home anyway and not doing anything. i don't want to say no b/c he's right. i am home. i don't have anything pressing. if i can save him some time in the morning, why not do so? but in all honesty, i find it a huge pain in the neck. wwyd?

    30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.03.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag ]

    • How old are kids? Do you have to take them along?

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      11.03.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • 3yo. yes.

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        11.03.09, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • Have to suck it up I am afraid. It is kind of a sweet ritual in a way for your dc.

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          11.03.09, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • with one 3yo and no other children, i'd oblige and drive him. commuting sucks. Even if it just shows the support that you get that, it's worth the minor effort.

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          11.03.09, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • op: i do have older kids. dh leaves after they do, so just when it was about to get calm and let me sit down, i end up running out to drive him to the train. but i think you're right. the benefit for him is bigger than the drawback for me.

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            11.03.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • i would drive him. what's the matter with you people - can't you help a brother out?

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      11.03.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • My sister started doing that after she became a SAHM. How old are your kids? It sucked for her when her DS was a newborn on an irregular schedule, but now he's 14-months and up at that time anyway so it's not really a big deal. And she doesn't just drive him to the bus, but all the way to his office (about 15 minutes each way, in good traffic).

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      11.03.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • the reason why i hate doing it is b/c my mornings are so crazy. getting dcs dressed, ready for their respective buses, packing lunches, etc. this is pretty much right after i get older dc onto their buses and i'm ready to sit down, have a coffee, eat breakfast. but instead it's grab a jacket, get dd's jacket, and go out. in a way it's not a big deal at all.

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        11.03.09, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • Oh for Pete's sake does DH get to sit down to coffee and breakfast? Give me a break.

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          11.03.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • actually, he does. but don't get me started on that b/c it isn't part of the driving-to-the-train issue and i don't want it to be.

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            11.03.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Can you compromise and offer to do it 2-3x/week? I drove DH to the train (with a newborn) while I was on maternity leave. I didn't like doing it, but at the end of the day it was 15 minutes of my time and he really appreciated.

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      11.03.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • do you have 2 cars?

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      11.03.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • This is a fight I wouldn't pick right now. Wait. Do it a little bit, see how it goes. You might find out it's not that bad after all, he might realise that it's a big imposition.

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      11.03.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Do it. He is your husband and think what it is he is doing so that you can be a SAHM. Marriage partner, right?

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      11.03.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • I would do it if possible, OP. My dh drove me to and from the train station while I was commuting (it sucked) and that time saved was SO nice. I really appreciated his helping me out.

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      11.03.09, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • So do it. What's the issue?

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      11.03.09, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • As a DH who does the same as your husband, I think he needs to suck it up. It would be one thing if there were buses and lunches, etc., but it's not like you have nothing better to do.

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      11.03.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • We live 10 minutes walk from the station and I very, very rarely ask DH to drop me off or pick me up. Probably less than once a month - only if it's very bad weather or I'm not feeling well or something. It's a PITA to put DC in the car for such a short trip (and probably take longer than it would if I just walked).

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      11.03.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • I'd tell him to take the car and then ride my bike down and get the car if I needed it. I hate going out in the am if I don't have to.

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      11.03.09, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • what would you do with the kid while you were on the bike?

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        11.03.09, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • little kid, trailer; bigger kid, trail a bike. As they say, "More learning is caught than taught." Show your kid that exercise is fun.

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          11.03.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Do it, but look at it as special time for you to spend with DH and youngest DC, not a huge imposition. I think that will make it better.

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      11.03.09, 11:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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