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i feel obligated to give him a sibling. I imagine loneliness... I grew up with two siblings in a shared bedroom so the idea of not having anyone else to fight or bond with regularly is unfamiliar to me...I apologize if this is an incredibly ignorant question but so many people have made it their business to underscore the importance of my giving my dc another brother/sister. I would love to and if I could, I'd have another four or five but our finances are extremely tight and obviously not something I care to broadcast to others...besides which, I already know the response would be that you would find a way. I don't want to be in that position if we can help it.
[ Reply | Options ]Sounds like your reasoning is absolutely rational and sensible. There are tons of onlies in NYC and they grow up just fine. Your DC will be just fine. The only thing I will say (as the mother of an only) is that you will have to give him/her more attention than if you had two and could just say, "Go play."
[ Reply | Options ]NP I am an only and so are many of my friends. It's FINE and I do think we tend to have an easier time of it making friends, since our friends are like family to us! I don't tihnk being an only is bad AT ALL. That said, if you have any family around, it might be nice to make an effort to see them now and then. I am very close with my older cousin (she is like a sister to me). PS If you have a house of love and happiness trust me your kid won't be lonely. I do think being an only is tough when things in the home are tough (divorce, illness) but maybe that is the case even if you have a sibling!
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Every family is perfect the way it is. There are pros and cons to every situation--focus on the pros and forget about the cons. Your child will never know any different and though s/he may think they want a sibling, if they had them, they'd want to get rid of them (at least I did!!). Regardless, there's no family size that's "wrong"
[ Reply | Options ]I am an only, and so is my DH. As was my own father. So plenty of experience here! I can tell you that growing up as an only, I didn't feel the need to have siblings. What I may have lacked in sibling intimacy, I gained in being very close to my parents. I only started seeing the negative side when as an adult, I started making choices that were very much opposed to my parents' views, and saw their bitter disappointment. I *think* these transitions would have been easier had they not beeing thinking that *I* was their only chance. The other inconvenient now is that I see the heavy responsibility that lies on our shoulders: the two of us will have to take care of the four of them, on top of taking care of our own children. That feels like a lot. HOWEVER, there is no guarantee that any of this would have changed if I had siblings. I could have made the same decisions as an adult that would have disappointed my parents in exactly the same way, even if I'd had 5 siblings. It's possible that I'd be the only sibling willing to take care of my parents when they got older. So I don't think there's a right or wrong there at all. Your child will become a good person, have a happy life if you make your best effort in that direction, and your best effort involves so much more than having more than one child.
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what are you talking about now? Good god people? so i guess you don't care about your parents and you don't wish that you own kids care about you. Congrats!
[ Reply | Options ]Read much? I care about my parents and I most certainly would not whine about caring for them in their old age after all they've done for me
[ Reply | Options ]I'm an only child and it really makes it harder. Older people get more difficult, I see my cousins, aunt gets upset one day with the one, the other day with the other, they love each other. In my case there is no alternative for my mother and myself. She has to come to me or be alone. It is not "whining" it is just a touch situation.
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I am not whineing about taking care of my parents. In fact, both my DH and I feel it's our responsibility to do so. HOWEVER, in thinking of my experience as an only, I would say that this is one area where I do feel the weight of not being able to share this responsibility, particularly as I married an only.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: if it helps for you to know, my DH is one of five. We are the only ones who help his mother.
[ Reply | Options ]that what I meant, I *think* now that having a sibling would make it easier, but if I'm being honest, I have no idea that it would. None of the problems that I associate with being an only would necessarily have been improved had I had siblings. Number of siblings isn't the only factor. My mother, for instance, was way too involved in my life and has always taken every decision I've had to make far too personally. There's no knowing whether her attitude would have been different if I hadn't been an only.
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The single greatest trait that astronauts have in common with each other -- only children.
[ Reply | Options ]bs. my friend is an astronaut and has siblings, so, for that matter, does another acquaintance. please don't perpetuate nonsenses.
[ Reply | Options ]Well there you have it. It is not 100% so it must not be true. Here is an old AP article. It sites that they are predominantly only or first borns. (http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1298&dat=19620605&id=7ncQAAAAIBAJ&sjid=QIwDAAAAIBAJ&pg=7431,4572902) That is just the first thing I saw on Google. I'm sure there are others.
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in my situation i would have prefered to have siblings. I started feeling that the last years and not as a child. If you can affort to have 2 kids then why not. A friend was telling me that since the parents passed away he got more connected with the sister, the kids get together from time to time, you still know you have some relatives of yours, beside your kids. I think it is a little sad to stay with no family members.
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because the only family for my kids (beside us) are my SIL kids, not that great. and with her bad wedding we have nothing in common. It is a little sad. so i wish I had a sibling too, or an in law with a better family. It is nice for the kids to get together with cousins.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: I understand where you are coming from. As a child of three, one of my siblings has children but she always has her own agenda and thus I either rush to meet up with the on their time/terms or I miss the boat completely. It's sad, really. I just want the cousins to spend time together, too... I don't get along with DH's SIL side very well and his other siblings are pretty much to themselves (or rather, like my sister, it has to be on their terms/time), so that's out and that also makes me sad for dc...
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