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Just had to post after reading the poster who said her DH does not want to let his DD play with kids he deems "not in her peer group". OK, from what I have seen, almost all parents usually the moms especially have an agenda. They want their kids to hang with the families they deem desirable - I have seen it based on religion, race/diversity, wealth, SAHM kaffee klatsch, you name it, yes, even on the DCs' ability to engage in "creative play" with each other...so no news there.
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Op here - yes but shouldn't the DCs choose their own friends? I find it amazing that the parent's agenda is forging the DCs' relationships, not the DCs' interests, which will be different as a matter of course.
[ Reply | Options ]I didn't read the entire post so I don't know the age of DC. However, I think when a child is young (up to 2 yrs), they tend to play with their parents' friends kids. After that, I think they are able to develop relationship more independently. In this case, they should play with whomever they enjoy being around as long as the parents can tolerate each other.
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I don't want my kids hanging out with poor, ghetto, street people. Those are not the type of morals I want my kids to learn.
[ Reply | Options ]Yikes, we are talking children and if their families happen to be poor or from a ghetto or homeless isn't that all the more reason to befriend them. I sentence you and your dc's to 3 weeks community service for this remark!!
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I'm not talking about poor, educated people. I'm talking about poor - uncultured, ill-mannered people. Does your DC have a friend named Shaniqua? Didn't think so.
[ Reply | Options ]I grew up with frieds who were poor and came from uneducated, uncultured immigrant parents. They were not ill-mannered although I'm sure they did not follow the etiquette rules of UB (thank you notes, etc.) but they were great kids who certainly had morals. Most of them ended up educated themselves and are MC/UMC today. Be careful about the assumptions you make about the poor and uneducated.
[ Reply | Options ]Op here - what is funny is that a number of parents find us too "white" - my DD became good friends with a number of kids who were African American, Chinese...and I could totally see the parents' dismay...oh no what is my kid doing playing with that blonde blue eyed little girl. The kids didn't really care though. They do of course see their differences but what matters to the average 6 year old is having a good time playing.
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I can see not wanting your dc to play with 1 or 2 specific kids bc they don't play nicely together or bc other kid is ill-behaved or rude or whatever. I can also see encouraging your dc TO play w specific kids bc they play well together. Beyond that, I think comments like that posters DH are ridiculous.
[ Reply | Options ]I see it this way. We do not have a lot of money and probably never will. We don't own a home and are making payments on a car. I SAH and my husband works as a manager at a retail store. However, dd is sweet and wonderful and at age 2 has full manners. She is smart and so friendly that people who come into contact with her are always amazed at how sweet and smart she is. I feel like if people don't want to associate with my dd b/c we don't have money (trust me it has happened a few times already) then they get to miss out. You may think I am sappy but I am very proud of my dd and money is not everything to us.
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