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  • My MIL insists I do everything (okay not everything but most) like her daughter does and thinks I should be calling her all the time for advice and whatnot. Why am I not allowed independent thought and to be my own person? She assumes I will go to all of the family functions because I "have to". What's up with that???

    13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    10.30.09, 11:41 AM [ Flag ]

    • You have two totally different issues here. I don't agree with the first part, but why wouldn't you go to the family functions?

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      10.30.09, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Is dh a Mommy's boy?

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      10.30.09, 11:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • DH is a lawyer who is never home. He's a "nobody's" boy. He kind of just keeps to himself.

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        10.30.09, 11:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • unless you need to stay on her good side i.e she gives you money then I would set her straight and be very clear about what you feel is reasonable. If she is offended that is her problem.

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          10.30.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Is your mother still alive? The reason I am asking is b/c I always ask my mom about things but dh always asks his mom. My mom said she was worried that my brothers wife would just always go to her mom but I do, that's just the way it works.

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      10.30.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • Yep my mother is still alive and kind of "stays out of it". She tells me to just drink wine LOL And my siblings have kids too so we are stymied over the I "should call SIL" for advice.

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        10.30.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • She is just being intrusive. Do you ever call MIL for anything? Maybe calling a few times about simple things will get her off your back. Also tell you that you can not attend every family function b/c your family deserves some of your time too. Tell her that you will try to be as fair as possible.

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          10.30.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • NP: OPs MIL sounds just like mine and this would only encourage her. The more i ask/share the more she wants/expects/demands. I regret not setting boundaries right away when I first got married.

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            10.30.09, 03:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Here is an example: I took DD and DS to see cloudy with a chance of meatballs by myself. DH had to work so I said "let's go and have some fun." Well when MIL heard I did that she got all up in arms that I didn't call SIL and her DCs to go. How was I able to do that by myself, she asked. Frankly the three of us had a blast.

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      10.30.09, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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