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  • WWYD? Every year, my in-laws dictate every day of the holidays and Christmas is a 3 day event.Christmas Eve starts at 2PM and doesn't end under well after midnight. Kids open presents all day. Then Christmas Day our DCs are too exhausted to open Santa's gifts and then the festival starts all over again. And then the day after all of the "cousins" have to get together to play with the toys and by this time they are banging off the walls. Now mind you they NEVER ask when we will see "MY" family or when my family will see the kids. This year I want to have Christmas Eve by just the four of us-me, DH, DD and DS. Is that so wrong? Is that selfish? Will that cause havoc? Isn't it time for us to have our family traditions?

    11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    10.07.09, 02:50 PM [ Flag ]

    • i fully support you. how do your DH and DCs feel? if you can all agree, make a new tradition. if it's important to them to keep doing it the same way, however, you may have to compromise. but you are certainly entitled to make time for your family, even if it causes havoc. no good reason not to share Christmas if your family celebrates it too.

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      10.07.09, 02:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Your in-laws dictate because you follow their directions. Stop following their orders and take charge of your life.

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      10.07.09, 02:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • "Well it's important for the kids together and see each other." "It's a tradition we've had for years." "I may be dead soon-I want to see the kids as much as possible." How do you deal with that? We tried this a few years ago when I was 8 months pregnant and there was a snowstorm but we had to go.

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        10.07.09, 03:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • love the "I may be dead soon" comment. how do you answer that one?

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          10.07.09, 03:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • such a cheap shot. tell her that she is welcome to come over and take care of kids over the weekend while you and dh have some private time.

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            10.07.09, 03:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

            • Actually they do that-again "we don't have much time so we want to see the kids"-why I feel guilty but dammit-I want ONE frigging day.

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              10.07.09, 03:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • I know-total guilt-when I tell parents-well I shouldn't put their comments on here :)

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            10.07.09, 03:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Have your dh call them and say that you two together have decided to start a new tradition of Christmas Eve at home. Then he can tell them what time you'll all show up Christmas Day.

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      10.07.09, 03:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • absolutely. tell MIL to go jump in the pond. it's your family and you choose which traditions to adopt and how to celebrate the holidays.

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      10.07.09, 03:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • You have to tell her now (and give plenty of warning) that you AND dh have decided to create your own traditions as a family. You will attend (fill in blank) at her house but on (fill in blank) you will be celebrating as a family of 3. Don't ask her permission or opinion. You can say change is hard, I know - but as someone who so completely enjoys "family tradition" I'm sure you will understand our desire to make our family traditions too. And say no more (and DON"T cave). If she objects and says whatever - you say, I'm sorry. That is the phrase to her objections and death threats, I'm sorry. That's it. You are right by the way, as long as you come up with a healthy balance.

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      10.07.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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