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On TechRepublic: Are you a corporate maniac? .Urban BabyWelcome, janet | log out TALK BUZZ LOCAL San FranciscoNew York.Query .new post » see more posts » okay ladies, I need advice. TIA. I'm a single mom with 2 dbs, recently divorced for about a year. I've decided to become involved with a very nice man who has no children, but seems to like them, and has also been divorced in the past two years. Everything is great between us. I have not introduced the boys to him yet as I'm not ready. Thing is- he keeps a busy lifestyle on my weekends off: for example he worked this past weekend. And, he sometimes turns me down to do other things, though like I said, he seems like he's crazy for me. I don't think he understands my urgency about time, such as, I think he should take advantage of the spare time I have and spend more with me. What should I do? I don't want to dissuade him, but feel like I'm put second to his work sometimes. Is this resonable to want him to spend the little time I have free with me?
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okay, so like today the ex has my dbs and we talked about getting together. I'm sure he'll call around 5 or so. What should I say?
[ Reply | Options ]If he knew about this ahead of time you should have made plans already. Why is he waiting until 5pm?
[ Reply | Options ]I think he had stuff to do eariler. He sleeps in on his days off. I suppose I should just be busy and alone tonight but I HATE it.
[ Reply | Options ]How old is this man and what does he do for a living? He seems pretty immature or to old to change his ways
[ Reply | Options ]He's 40, I'm in my mid thirties. He has a nice job. He plays bass in a successful band. He might be too immature, but he's nice and he really cares about me. We've been friends for 17 years. I don't know- perhaps I should let him go, but I really trust him and I hate the thought of dating again.
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"recently divorced for about a year" with 2dbs, you have enough on your plate without having to worry about a new boyfriend accomodating his schedule for you.
[ Reply | Options ]We've known each other for about half of my life. I am in my new schedule and doing well. We have great chemistry, he says he likes to spend time alone. I have no idea what he means by this. We spend most of my free time together, but like last weekend, he agreed to work with a friend for 6 hours during the day when he told me he took the day off to spend it with me. I don't get it. I know he likes me.
[ Reply | Options ]translation: he likes to spend time with you as long as it doesn't interfere with his life. Don't waste your time, move on
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, but sometimes he spends his whole weekend with me and turns down other things. I'm confused. Maybe he just works hard. I was supposed to call him today, he asked me to last night, should I? Or should I wait till he calls me? I've left an open invitation for him on Sunday night and he turned it down.
[ Reply | Options ]or, don't put so much emphasis on the relationship and accept on his terms, i.e. live your own life. sorry, but you sound pretty needy.
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OP if I were you I'd start seeing other people. Just got out of a similiar situation. Dated a man for about a year, he seemed to like my company but also liked "time alone" which meant he liked his life just as it was and me just when it was convenient. I did everything in my power to spend my free time with him but never felt he was putting any effort. I broke it off once but he came back to me 2 months after saying he missed me, etc. He was fine and accomodating for a week or two but then back to the old tricks, one day he finally said "sorry I don't think this is working out, you're developing feelings for me and I really don't feel the same way about you"
[ Reply | Options ]This sounds similar except he's already said he has deep feelings for me. I feel like he's playing some head game half the time and that he really means it the other half. Should I let him know I'm dating? He would take that as a real blow, I'm sure. Is there anything else I can say to him?
[ Reply | Options ]He is defenitely playing head/power games. The man I was dating was all about having control on the relationship. He was previously married with no kids either and I think pretty much set on his ways. How old is your guy?
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^^but I can't see him wanting to play games with me. we've known each other for 17 years and have been close friends. He and I trust each other and he does make some sacrifices with his time. I just think he doesn't understand that when i say I ahve tuesday off, I have tuesday off.
[ Reply | Options ]OP, you are in complete denial, it's OK I was like that too, making excuses for him all the time, it used to drive all my friends crazy. They told me all along to walk away. At the end I did what my heart told me to do b/c I trusted him and believed him when he said he cared about me. Here I'm a year later alone. If you are willing to take the chance go ahead and continue to see him, only time will tell. GL
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