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OP here of 2 yr old rough dd who grabbed 1 yr old at playground. Thanks for all of your input. Yes I have to admit I was not on top of the stairs where my 2 yr old was....she was on the jungle gym. I was on the bottom a few feet away talking to another mom. I am a bit of a slacker in that I talk a lot and am not behind my dcs all the time. Yes I agree I probably would have been upset by another older child pushing my dc. My dd is rough, she actually pushed the little girl to get her out of the way....I saw it and ran right over....told her no....The other little girl wasnt upset....but I was there watching to not let it happen again or so I thought. My beef here was that the other mother reacted like my child and I were the devil. I feel like they reacted very strongly and think these things happen quite often at a playground. These are children and not perfect and this woman seemed appalled. Thats all.
72 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]You are fixating on what the other mom did. But you really need to address your own daughter's behaviour or she won't have any friends when she starts school.
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Given your kid's behavior you have an OBLIGATION to be "behind" dc all the time until she smartens up.
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A 2 yo child who pushes babies--and whose mother doesn't really think it's a big deal. In the 7 years I've spent with dcs on the playground, I've noticed that the VAST majority of moms with aggressive kids deal with them properly--one warning AND the kid has to apologize. If the behavior's repeated, the child is taken home (or at least has to leave the playground).
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OP here....where are you ladies living? what do you do? I have been on a zillion play dates in the last 5 yrs and been around a lot of other rough dcs. My kids have gotten clobbered with the best of them and in general mothers just try and redirect the kids attention....say no....and get on with the playing. I have never seen a person leave a play ground or play date because of aggressive behavior. We all seem to understand some kids go through these phases. You guys seem really strict.
[ Reply | Options ]No, we just don't condone over-aggression. I think the subject's exhausted btwn yesterday and today. It seems you're taking nothing away from others' thoughts. Without any snarkiness, I feel sad for your dd that you're not open to teaching her or modeling for her a different response.
[ Reply | Options ]just because you let your kids get clobbered doesn't mean others share your willingness to see their children clobbered. it's called being considerate to others. -signed UWS mom
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Could the person defending this behavior as typical kid behavior and who apparently thinks it's not worth correcting please tell me what playground you frequent.
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Posting your playground(s) would out you? If that's the case, I guess your kid's already scared off a bunch of people.
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BTDT, I have a 6 yo and a 3 yo. Just because you condone this type of behavior, doesn't mean the rest of us should. 96th and Lex, you say?
[ Reply | Options ]dont condone it just think you are all jumping to conclusions. and yes - 96th and Lex. want to meet?
[ Reply | Options ]Tell me what conclusion we're jumping to? Since OP has been very open and honest about your role in this. You're the one going around telling people to shut up, all kids do this, you haven't BTDT.
[ Reply | Options ]i have btdt. actually. jumping to conclusion that she doesnt try to discipline her child.
[ Reply | Options ]I meant the poster saying "You all clearly have 1 yo and have not BTDT." I find this troubling to pass this behavior off as normal. I never said OP didn't try to discipline her child, but there is a poster here saying that this is normal behavior and anyone with a toddler would agree with her. You can have a toddler, understand it's normal behavior, and still discipline. No reason to just let kids get away with it. Again, I'm not saying this is what OP did, just the other poster.
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np I would like to have this info, too. Post. Seriously, you could clear the place out. You might have to buy an inflatable punching bag to stand in for a baby, though.
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I don't get why you're still focusing on the other mother. Granted, I was one of the people who said in the original post that she shouldn't have put her hands on your child. And I also don't think you can be vigilant watching your kid every second. But after she grabbed the baby once, you should have been way more on top of it than you were and apologized immediately. Stop being so defensive and listen to what everyone is telling you about your child.
[ Reply | Options ]I can't respond to OP, but I have to say this: playdates are different. With playdates you know each other, so you redirect and of course you don't up and leave. A complete stranger? The other mom can do whatever she wants (except for grabbing your DD, which everyone agreed with wrong). Your problem is that you think people should be accepting of this behavior, and I disagree with you.
[ Reply | Options ]I still don't understand why you're upset that the other mom touched your child. Your child GRABBED her 1 y.o. not once, but TWICE. Why is it ok for your dd to grab a younger child, but no one should even touch your child? Don't you see the irony here?
[ Reply | Options ]Since OP was the only one present, I'm going to believe her on her primary issue - that the other mother was inappropriately/excessively nasty and rude. I think OP is having trouble accurately conveying the other mother's tone and attitude b/c it's UB. We've all had interactions with other mothers who are simply not nice people. Even if OP was entirely in the wrong by not watching her child closely enough, that doesn't exclude the other possibility that the other mother was a b*tch.
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Yes, I read both posts though this is my first response to either. I think the other mom sounded rude in the first one also, but that's my point actually - it doesn't matter how she "sounded" to me or you. OP was there and felt the other mom's attitude was dismissive/nasty/rude enough to be the focus of the post. OP didn't even really ask if her dd or her own behavior was reasonable b/c that wasn't why she was posting. We can hypothesize all we want about OP and the other mom, but unless OP routinely posts on UB about other people treating her poorly I would guess this other Mom's behavior was unusually hostile.
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