UrbanBaby Asks...
Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
- I really don't enjoy it at all, and wish I could spend less time with them
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my dh's boss gives him a hard to take off vacation time. he has worked in the same small office for 8 yrs now. every year it's worst and worst. it's at the point when he wants to take 2 days off she nearly has a nervous breakdown. i am sick and tired of taken vacation with my dc w/o him. any advice?
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreare you sure that it is his boss that is causing all the trouble. perhaps your DH doesn't want to vacation with the kids? also, i'm not saying bosses can't be ridiculous, but i would also wonder if my DH asked strongly for vacation or is just not making waves.
[ Reply | More ]hmmm.... i think he's afraid to lose his job. husband is not into making waves, he's a wimp. sometimes i want to kill him
[ Reply | More ]really? would you prefer that he be unemployed? because he doesn't see that he can have it both ways -- i.e., be the person you want him to be and keep his job. i suggest helping him figure out a solution instead of telling him to "man up", which, just my guess, is going to get you absolutely nowhere.
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provide itinerary, set up a plan to check in daily, assist remotely, etc. that will help.
[ Reply | More ]i do not think this is a good idea. vacation is for unwinding. bosss will suck up all his time while he is supposd to be on vacation.
[ Reply | More ]not if he communicates clearly when he will and will not be available. plenty of people have to work while on vacation - it's better than not going! communication and dh's boss knowing that she's not going to be left blowing in the wind if she needs something is the key. she just needs to be managed properly, i think, especially since she has anxiety about being left hanging.
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I've lived this, and would rather not be on vacation at all than be on a vacation where I'm expected to be on call 24/7, and where anything that goes wrong while I'm away becomes my fault b/c I'm not in the office. It ends up being more stressful than not taking time off at all. It sounds like this might be the DH's situation.
[ Reply | More ]set a schedule. I'll have 30 minutes in the a.m. and 30 minutes in the evening every day, and will watch the bb midday. not available on x day because we're going to xyz, but i can check in in the evening, etc. i mean, come on, people. people in big firms (banking, law, etc.) do this ALL the time, even when there are other people on whom to rely, so i can understand why a small business owner would want that kind of accessibility.
[ Reply | More ]OR: That only works if the person you're accountable to will be satisfied with that. I was biglaw and the partner I worked for expected me to respond to every email within 15 minutes, even if on vacation. If I didn't, I would get a nasty email from him "reminding" me I was supposed to be in touch, and when I got back to work would get a lecture about my "commitment and work ethic". Sometimes the only way to manage expectations is to manage to get a job with someone with different expectations!
[ Reply | More ]True, and that's for him to work out with his employer. It's tough in this market. there are TONS of highly qualified people who would love to be in OP's dh's position -- at least he's employed. so he can quit; run the risk of getting fired by "manning up" and checking out on vacation; never go on vacation at all; or, he can work with the manager and be responsive, even if that means setting the bb to vibrate and responding when it buzzes. it beats unemployment, and if it's the only way he gets away, then it's better than nothing.
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