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UB Like it's 1776!

Any wives of declaration signers on? I feel so alone, with DH out trying to build a country for everyone else when he has a family at home!

Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)

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Dh ended his affair of 4 months with co-worker about 2 mo ago. What he doesn't realize is that I am damaged by what he did so much. I am sad and angry at the entire situation. Trying to get past it and start fresh. Any advice?
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08.11.09, 07:59 AM Flag ]
- So sorry. But it is great that your are trying to work it out. It takes a village. Are you going to counseling.
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  08.11.09, 08:01 AM Flag
  - counseling and my counselor recoommeded reading After the Affair by Janis and Michael Spring..
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    08.11.09, 08:06 AM Flag
- i counsel patience (for both of you). he has to understand that you don't trust him, and you have to understand that he feels like an ass and wants it to immediately be erased from the memory banks.
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  08.11.09, 08:04 AM Flag
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  08.11.09, 08:05 AM
  - Whoever wrote that must look awful if she won't be able to attract someone after the age of 33. OP, please ignore that response and know that the rest of us are on your side.
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    08.11.09, 08:07 AM Flag
    - The really horrible part is that the woman still works in his office and he sees her everyday. I think if I didn't know as much as I do it might be easier to trust. Most days I just can't believe this happened to me. He was suppose to be the "nice guy". We have been together for 10 years and married 4 of those. We have a 2yr old ds.
      [ Reply | More ]
      08.11.09, 08:16 AM Flag
      - I'm really sorry this happened to you! I have no advice, but my DH is also considered the "nice guy" and I should stop thinking this could never happen to me. I would be very upset if the affair was still working side by side with DH too. Is the woman married too?
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        08.11.09, 08:29 AM Flag
  - "Pony up"? I didn't realized anyone used that phrase anymore! You must be way over 33!
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    08.11.09, 08:11 AM Flag
    - Actually, I just turned 31 and am in the best shape of my life. The first yr of my ds life was a rough one between us. He works alot and I was home with ds all the time. We did drift apart but I don't believe that gives you the go ahead on an affair.
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      08.11.09, 08:20 AM Flag
  - Thanks, DH, for constantly posting this drivel.Women also prefer men to be younger, but you have to choose from what's out there.
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    08.11.09, 08:12 AM Flag
  - I'm going to start flagging Mr.33. His posts are unhelpful, hurtful, and monotonous. OP, pay him no mind. He's a regular troll who always posts like this when women write in with their marital problems.
    [ Reply | More ]
    08.11.09, 08:22 AM Flag
- time and patience. he does realize it, or he wouldn't have ended the affair. two months isn't that long, really. good luck to you.
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  08.11.09, 08:22 AM Flag
  - i agree..maybe some counseling too...at least a year would be ideal.
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    08.11.09, 08:29 AM Flag

Dh ended his affair of 4 months with co-worker about 2 mo ago. What he doesn't realize is that I am damaged by what he did so much. I am sad and angry at the entire situation. Trying to get past it and start fresh. Any advice?

UrbanBaby Asks...

Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?

UB Like it's 1776!

Inside UrbanBaby

UrbanBabyBuzz

UrbanBabyNewYork

Dh ended his affair of 4 months with co-worker about 2 mo ago. What he doesn't realize is that I am damaged by what he did so much. I am sad and angry at the entire situation. Trying to get past it and start fresh. Any advice?

So sorry. But it is great that your are trying to work it out. It takes a village. Are you going to counseling.

counseling and my counselor recoommeded reading After the Affair by Janis and Michael Spring..

i counsel patience (for both of you). he has to understand that you don't trust him, and you have to understand that he feels like an ass and wants it to immediately be erased from the memory banks.

Whoever wrote that must look awful if she won't be able to attract someone after the age of 33. OP, please ignore that response and know that the rest of us are on your side.

I'm really sorry this happened to you! I have no advice, but my DH is also considered the "nice guy" and I should stop thinking this could never happen to me. I would be very upset if the affair was still working side by side with DH too. Is the woman married too?

"Pony up"? I didn't realized anyone used that phrase anymore! You must be way over 33!

Actually, I just turned 31 and am in the best shape of my life. The first yr of my ds life was a rough one between us. He works alot and I was home with ds all the time. We did drift apart but I don't believe that gives you the go ahead on an affair.

Thanks, DH, for constantly posting this drivel.Women also prefer men to be younger, but you have to choose from what's out there.

I'm going to start flagging Mr.33. His posts are unhelpful, hurtful, and monotonous. OP, pay him no mind. He's a regular troll who always posts like this when women write in with their marital problems.

time and patience. he does realize it, or he wouldn't have ended the affair. two months isn't that long, really. good luck to you.

i agree..maybe some counseling too...at least a year would be ideal.