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Anyone here have conflict with their dh about going back to work after dc? what were the issues and how was it resolved? (the op of the other post isn't here anymore and wasn't very forthcoming with information, but a lot of people seem to have opinions on this.)
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he said it'll be a lot of work for him. he said he'd stay home instead (i didn't take that post very seriously). he said it'll take him away from his own hours with dc (that one is a valid point). after that, i don't htink there was another response from him. he didn't address ages of dc, if his wife wants to do this long term, what hours he's been working so far, anything about their financial situation or lifestyle, anything about what's better for dcs, anything about his wife's motivation.
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NP: LOL, have you ever seen a thread where a woman asks if she should SAH? Cheerleading all over the place ("OMG just do it. Your DC will be SO MUCH better off, It'll be the best thing you've ever done."). Few requests for supporting details. Certainly little consideration of the DH's opinion. There's a huge UB double standard on this issue.
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ITA, as well. None of OP's prying questions matters because the dh on the other thread wasn't asking ub'ers to decide whether anyone is right or wrong, he was saying that he's upset that the dw changed the deal and that he feels he can't be as effective as a parent. the details do not matter. they struck a deal, dw wasn't happy and so she changed the deal, and dh is upset about the fact that she changed the deal because it means he can't spend time with his kids. that's really all you need to know, unless you're trying to second guess the dh or dw's pov, which no one was asking for.
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i agree that there is a double standard...but he didn't come on here asking about being a SAHD...he came on complaining about his wife
[ Reply | Options ]No, he didn't. He came on here asking for advice/venting and expressing frustration that he was to be the sole breadwinner when he wants time with the DCs too. At no point did he complain that his wife pulled a fast one, though several posters did state that.
[ Reply | Options ]well, he opened with saying she wants to stay home & he's pissed...then he talked about how "the plan" was for her to go back after #2, but her changing the plan, while perhaps good for her & their kids, made him more of a slave to his career...i don't remember the seeking of advice parts so much
[ Reply | Options ]Well, I agree with him. A plan was made and if that plan needs to be changed, it should be discussed among the spounses. For example, we always thought we wanted two DCs and now we're discussing stopping at one. But it's a discussion. I didn't suddenly say, Hey, I only feel like one, and since I'm the Mom, I win and you don't get a say in it.
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