new post »
see more posts »
-
-
-
-
-
Well, the other day my RE was telling me that I'm old, reproductively speaking, and I just turned 37 a couple days ago. My personal opinion is 40.
[ Reply | Options ]Don't let your RE tell you that! I got pregnant for the first time at 38 - accidentally after one night of too much alcohol. I got pregnant at 40 intentionally with one try. A natural try without hormones. Both times completely healthy and normal kids. And they were the perfect ages for me. Sooner would have been too young. I was too busy with my career and traveling.
[ Reply | Options ]
Has anyone heard that your age at the time of your first affects future problems? For example, if you start in your 20's it is easier to keep having babies into your 30's, etc than it is to conceive your first in those later years?
[ Reply | Options ]-
I think if having children past 40, you need to think about your future financial stability after retirement-either already be ready for it or know for sure that you will be. Not fair for dc to have to take care of aging parents while trying to raise their own dc/get their career started.
[ Reply | Options ]Over 35. Both DH and I have "older" parents. It's very difficult for us now and has been for years with no letup in sight. But mark my words...no one can tell a woman not to have kids when she's older--she'll have every excuse in the book and then some. Because they saved so much money, they will get expensive high-risk OB's, use IVF, surrogate, take the worst risks to the baby, whatever, because it's their right. Think about how old you'll be when the kid is such-and-such an age. We don't want granny moms!!
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. i can understand that mistakes happen and women do sometimes find themselves pregnant at a ripe old age. at that point, they've often got to make the best of it. but women who feel it's their right to have kids at an advanced age--regardless of the risk to the baby and the problems they will experience as a child who needs to take care of their elderly parents way too soon--i think this is irresponsibility along the lines of teenage pregnancy. life is harsh for us ladies who want a career and kids. but we can't take it out on the poor babies we bear.
[ Reply | Options ]Really??? You can't have kids at 36? That's too old?? Most women are still fertile and for generations have been having kids without REs at this age. . . . That's going a bit far don't you think?
[ Reply | Options ]sorry, i was ITA with the general sentiment of the OR, not the strict 35 cut-off. for me it would be more like upper 30s-40. i have a relative who is 47 and trying desperately to have her first, despite her own major health problems. so far (luckily) she hasn't found a doc who will work with her. i just can't believe she'd want to do that to a kid! i also think that just because you are fertile doesn't mean you should be having kids... there are tons of fertile 13 year olds who have no business being parents.
[ Reply | Options ]
If/when your parents become dependant on you its difficult. Would it be easier if you were 10 years older when that happened? Maybe your own children would be more independent but you would likely have less energy than now and perhaps some health issues of your own.
[ Reply | Options ]i think this is a valid point, but having to take care of your 60 year old parents while in college is no fun, regardless of your energy level. having kids at 40+ is really tough on children for this reason, unless there are older sibs to help. being the caboose is one thing, and is hard enough, but being an only child of older parents can be REALLY tough. one of my friends was born to a 42 YO single mom, and when her mom died of a stroke when she was 16, she had to go live with an aunt she'd never met, who didn't want her. she got married at 18 to get out of that house, and was divorced by 24. it's important to think about what you are asking your kids to live with.
[ Reply | Options ]Its certainly more of a risk, but I don't think there's a high percentage of 60 yo that need to be taken care of. Most 60 yo are still working and vibrant. And a 58 yo woman who dies of a stroke isn't average. But again, the risks are higher if the parents start out older.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, didn't mean to apply that strokes in 58 year old women are common. but like you said, the risks are much higher if the parents start out older. i think i would feel better about being an older parent if i was sure there was a good support network for my child in place, should something go wrong (siblings, a close family, etc.). but this is true for parents of any age, i'm sure!
[ Reply | Options ]
My dh and I adopted twins when I was 44 (dh was 36). Even though I'll be in my mid-60s when they graduate from college i think they'd probably tell you that they love having parents who are financially secure (including retirement, already), patient and with a wealth of life experience upon which to draw. They also still have three of their four grandparents (and the one who passed is my dh's father -- my parents are still alive and kicking up their heels!) and a million cousins in a wide range of ages. We did make sure that they'd never have to "take care of us" before we adopted, though, so that is a concern for older parents.
[ Reply | Options ]
-
UrbanBaby Asks...
Are you expecting something special from your dh for Valentine's Day?
- Yes, and he's in big trouble if he forgets.
- Yes, but it's not something I care about.
- No, thank goodness.
- No, and I'm already fuming. He's so unromantic!
- Don't know...
Already voted? View Results
Flashback
UB Like it's 1776!
Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)
More reminiscing about laughs on UrbanBaby »
The Kid's Menu
Video: Cooking With Grandma Gigi
Granddaughter Olivia helps make plantation casserole...
Also:Lunchbox Recipes
School Lunch Obsessive (video)
Make your Own Baby Food
Baby Food Taste-Off
Is it wrong to ask minors to mix martinis?
Can you tell a pregnant boozer to stop?
