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  • How old is too old to have babies?

    47 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    07.31.09, 09:37 AM [ Flag ]
    • 29

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      07.31.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ^^ask a stupid question...

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        07.31.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think to a certain extent, use common sense and do what makes you comfortable. Some people do all the "right" things and have problems. Other people smoke and eat whatever they want and have healthy babies.

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        07.31.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I decided to not have any after 35 - too many chromosomal things can go wrong. Too old is 40.

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      07.31.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 40

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      07.31.09, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • why?

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        07.31.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • why not? it's all aribtrary. this is my opinion based on things like risks of chromosonal abnormalities, thinking kids deserve parents who will be around long enough to be grandparents, etc.

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          07.31.09, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Would you rather have been born without grandparents or not been born? I don't think that one's a good reason. Chromosonal problems can happen at any age, you can get tested, and (if you believe in it) terminate if there's a problem.

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            07.31.09, 10:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Why so defensive? It's just my opinion. I take it you're over 40??

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              07.31.09, 11:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I am now, but I'm not having more children. All 4 of my grandparents were over 40 when they had my parents. I'm glad they did it.

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                07.31.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • You may not care about grandparents, but most people do. Also, I'd like to not be pushing mid-60s at my DC's college graduation.

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              07.31.09, 11:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 45

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      07.31.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • It depends on the parents. Kids require a lot of energy. Chromosones can go wrong at any age. The older you are, the more likely you'll get screened earlier.

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      07.31.09, 10:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 44

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      07.31.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Fertility drops WAY down at 42 for most women. That said, I and several friends have just had babies at ages 37-40 with no problems.

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      07.31.09, 10:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • You're never too old, if you can, great! I think all that matters is being able to provide the child with a happy and healthy life. Of course if you're 80, obviously you won't be around long for the child's life, so that wouldn't make sense!

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      07.31.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I had first at 35, second at 37, might have another. All my friends have had their families starting late, no issues.

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      07.31.09, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 45 to carry them, 50 to adopt (babies or young toddlers)

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      07.31.09, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i wouldn't go past 37, but i think it all depends on your life before that age. for myself personally (because of my life) anything older than that is just too old

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      07.31.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • did u guys read about the 70 y o in india?

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      07.31.09, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 35

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      07.31.09, 11:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • for me, 40. for anyone else, whenever they feel like it's too old for them.

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      07.31.09, 11:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I completely agree. I'm pretty risk averse and plan to get my tubes tied at 40, but if you're over 40 and really want a baby (or another baby) who am I to criticize?

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        08.02.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Well, the other day my RE was telling me that I'm old, reproductively speaking, and I just turned 37 a couple days ago. My personal opinion is 40.

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      07.31.09, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Don't let your RE tell you that! I got pregnant for the first time at 38 - accidentally after one night of too much alcohol. I got pregnant at 40 intentionally with one try. A natural try without hormones. Both times completely healthy and normal kids. And they were the perfect ages for me. Sooner would have been too young. I was too busy with my career and traveling.

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        07.31.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • That's great for you, but you have to realize that a lot of people at age 40 will not get pregnant as easily as you did.

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          08.01.09, 02:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Has anyone heard that your age at the time of your first affects future problems? For example, if you start in your 20's it is easier to keep having babies into your 30's, etc than it is to conceive your first in those later years?

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      07.31.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Assuming you mean for females - I think 40 is about the cutoff. The age I had my 2nd. Not the plan but the way it worked out. For guys - maybe a couple years older. Not crazy about older parents for a bunch of reasons (like the experience of my parents)

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      07.31.09, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • when you stop ovulating

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      07.31.09, 03:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 63 for sure

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      07.31.09, 03:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think if having children past 40, you need to think about your future financial stability after retirement-either already be ready for it or know for sure that you will be. Not fair for dc to have to take care of aging parents while trying to raise their own dc/get their career started.

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      08.01.09, 09:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Over 35. Both DH and I have "older" parents. It's very difficult for us now and has been for years with no letup in sight. But mark my words...no one can tell a woman not to have kids when she's older--she'll have every excuse in the book and then some. Because they saved so much money, they will get expensive high-risk OB's, use IVF, surrogate, take the worst risks to the baby, whatever, because it's their right. Think about how old you'll be when the kid is such-and-such an age. We don't want granny moms!!

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      08.01.09, 01:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITA. i can understand that mistakes happen and women do sometimes find themselves pregnant at a ripe old age. at that point, they've often got to make the best of it. but women who feel it's their right to have kids at an advanced age--regardless of the risk to the baby and the problems they will experience as a child who needs to take care of their elderly parents way too soon--i think this is irresponsibility along the lines of teenage pregnancy. life is harsh for us ladies who want a career and kids. but we can't take it out on the poor babies we bear.

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        08.01.09, 02:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Really??? You can't have kids at 36? That's too old?? Most women are still fertile and for generations have been having kids without REs at this age. . . . That's going a bit far don't you think?

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          08.01.09, 02:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Exactly. Often they weren't the first child, but still they had them and those children grew up without too many scars.

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            08.01.09, 02:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • sorry, i was ITA with the general sentiment of the OR, not the strict 35 cut-off. for me it would be more like upper 30s-40. i have a relative who is 47 and trying desperately to have her first, despite her own major health problems. so far (luckily) she hasn't found a doc who will work with her. i just can't believe she'd want to do that to a kid! i also think that just because you are fertile doesn't mean you should be having kids... there are tons of fertile 13 year olds who have no business being parents.

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            08.01.09, 02:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • If/when your parents become dependant on you its difficult. Would it be easier if you were 10 years older when that happened? Maybe your own children would be more independent but you would likely have less energy than now and perhaps some health issues of your own.

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        08.01.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • i think this is a valid point, but having to take care of your 60 year old parents while in college is no fun, regardless of your energy level. having kids at 40+ is really tough on children for this reason, unless there are older sibs to help. being the caboose is one thing, and is hard enough, but being an only child of older parents can be REALLY tough. one of my friends was born to a 42 YO single mom, and when her mom died of a stroke when she was 16, she had to go live with an aunt she'd never met, who didn't want her. she got married at 18 to get out of that house, and was divorced by 24. it's important to think about what you are asking your kids to live with.

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          08.01.09, 05:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Its certainly more of a risk, but I don't think there's a high percentage of 60 yo that need to be taken care of. Most 60 yo are still working and vibrant. And a 58 yo woman who dies of a stroke isn't average. But again, the risks are higher if the parents start out older.

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            08.01.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • yes, didn't mean to apply that strokes in 58 year old women are common. but like you said, the risks are much higher if the parents start out older. i think i would feel better about being an older parent if i was sure there was a good support network for my child in place, should something go wrong (siblings, a close family, etc.). but this is true for parents of any age, i'm sure!

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              08.01.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • A woman's eggs age even if she can still get pregnant. Over 40 you run the risk of all sorts of problems even if they aren't immediately apparent.

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      08.01.09, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My dh and I adopted twins when I was 44 (dh was 36). Even though I'll be in my mid-60s when they graduate from college i think they'd probably tell you that they love having parents who are financially secure (including retirement, already), patient and with a wealth of life experience upon which to draw. They also still have three of their four grandparents (and the one who passed is my dh's father -- my parents are still alive and kicking up their heels!) and a million cousins in a wide range of ages. We did make sure that they'd never have to "take care of us" before we adopted, though, so that is a concern for older parents.

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      08.02.09, 07:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • i think this is great. it sounded like you were really responsible in making sure that your age wouldn't be a burden to them. and you provided a loving home for 2 kids while getting the wonderful family you wanted! congrats!

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        08.02.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • alot of generalizing going on here, it depends on the person, some people should never have babies no matter how old they are

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      08.02.09, 03:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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