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  • My mom and I were having a not so nice conversation about my brother's wife that was somehow accidentally recorded on my brother's voice mail. He is so upset. I feel awful. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

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    07.14.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag ]

    • how did that happen? seriously?

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      07.14.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • OMG something similar happened to me. we had an old phone/answering machine and i thought i picked up before it went off, i didn't hear our outgoing so i started talking to my mother. my MIL had just been over and said/did really insulting things and i was relaying it to my mom...i shouldn't have. and dh heard it and said that although he agreed, it was hurtful. i felt so bad and haven't complained (about things that weren't really small) to my mom or sister since.

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      07.14.09, 06:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • up front, straight apology with no "but i only said it because...". try to find something very fundamental and positive to say about her, but only if you mean it. ("even though i said things i regret, i want you to know that i love her and am happy to have her in the family".) close by saying that you don't want to create conflict and possibly add that if the apology isn't enough, what else can you do to rectify the relationship.

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      07.14.09, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • apologize, in person, in private.

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      07.14.09, 11:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • Don't try to explain away your bad behavior. Just simply apologize. I don't blame your brother for being upset that his mother and sister have so little respect and would badmouth his wife. But at least he now knows you and your mom's true colors.

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        07.14.09, 11:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • I wonder that even if you apologize that he will ever forget...I don't think I would.

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      07.15.09, 07:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • depends on what you said about sil.

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      07.15.09, 07:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • How about saying: I'm terribly sorry. We were both having a bad day and needed to bitch about someone. Since Britney has shaved her head this week, we just randomly picked on your wife. If it makes you feel any better, we didn't realize that our nanny's camcorder was on while she was in the bathroom while we were opening the Christmas gifts she gave DD. It was all incredibly cheap stuff, and we weren't.....emmmm....kind.

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      07.15.09, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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