UrbanBaby - My 4.5 yr old daughter has turned into a...

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My 4.5 yr old daughter has turned into a total terror recently. She is beyond defiant and has now started throwing things, slamming doors, and hitting. I am chalking it up to being exhausted from camp, but I don't know what to do. Taking away stuff she loves just makes her more miserable and doesn't seem to stop the behavior the next day. She's always been strong willed, but this is out of control. Any suggestions?
10 replies
- General Topics
- Preschool/Kids
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07.14.09, 04:34 PM [ Flag ]
- do you still have a "bedtime routine" with 7yo dcs? it still takes 15 min. of winding down and I told 7yo dd we need to abbreviate the bedtime routine and she got so sad. she is otherwise great, so maybe I shouldn't take this away. the routine is reading together (sometimes me, sometimes her), talking about our days, rubbing back, goodnight kiss, etc. about 15-20 min. total. wdyt?
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  07.14.09, 04:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - sorry, meant to make this a new post.
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    07.14.09, 04:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- what?! omg if i ever did that to my parents, i would have woken up in the following week.
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  07.14.09, 04:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- that's nuts. have you tried making her lay down in her room when she gets home?
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  07.14.09, 04:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - Yeah..I'd hand her some warm milk and send her st8 to bed. Good luck w/ that.
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    07.14.09, 05:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- She needs some quite time. Or she needs 15 minutes of you playing one-on-one with her calmly. If it continues I would ask her to sit in her room until she feels that she can behave. You'd love to be with her when she can rejoin you in a civilized manner. She'll get it. Don't yell, just stick to it.
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  07.14.09, 05:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- i have one dc who is also acting up from exhaustion. the problem with disciplining for this is that the behavior itself is coming from an inability to deal with the physical exertion, so it's hard for discipline to combat it. i suspect this makes no sense so i'll try to explain. when a kid is misbehaving willfully, you can discipline or punish for them to stop. but if the bad behavior is their way of coping with exhaustion, the punishment won't help them stop. my suggestion would be to give a hearty and refreshing snack as soon as she gets home and to sit and have a quiet time or quiet activity asap. whether it's reading to her or letting her paint. something that will help her calm and quiet down.
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  07.14.09, 05:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - ^^^the other thing i wanted to add is that you shouldn't be afraid to drastically move up her bedtime. put her in an hour earlier with some books to read. she can probably easily use the extra hour of sleep.
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    07.14.09, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- She needs sleep and quiet time--no amount of discipline will help this. Can you keep her out of camp 2 days a week and home with you or a caregiver? Or at least have her nap and then play quietly after camp?
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  07.14.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- you know, i would talk to her and do a lot of listening. dd at 4yo went out of control for a week until finally we found out she had seen a scary cartoon where a monster bit a guy's head off (could do another thread on that) and she just couldn't process it mentally so she was acting out, really she just couldn't take it. don't know if your dd is just tired or if something at camp (mean kid?) or being in a new routine or something else has freaked her out - is her camp just with 4.5 yo or is she with older kids too?
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  07.14.09, 11:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]