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  • My dh's brother is a very nice guy, never married, never has a girlfriend. I used to assume he was gay, but we've never seen him with a boyfriend either. He's also great with little kids but, IMO, a little too into them. As my dd gets older (she is 4yo), I feel uncomfortable seeing him, though I would never leave them alone together. Am I just paranoid? I feel I must trust my instincts. Do I say anything to dh? We only see his brother once or twice a year, he doesn't live nearby.

    9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    07.04.09, 11:15 AM [ Flag ]

    • if you aren't comfortable leaving your dd alone with him, then you need to tell your husband. but definitely, yes, trust your instincts. better safe than sorry.

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      07.04.09, 11:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • that said, I wouldn't not trust him simply because he's never been married and doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. maybe he's just a loner or private. if that's the only reason, I would say that's a bit paranoid. but if there are other things, then yes go with your gut.

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        07.04.09, 11:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • trust your instincts. whether it's a parent, sibling, close friend (and regardless of their personal situation) you mustn't leave your dcs alone w/them unless you feel 100% secure.

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      07.04.09, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • the guy could be socially inept, shy, suffer from depression or a social disorder. I think you're being paranoid to brand him a child molester because he doesn't fit your image of a regular guy. Don't leave your dd alone with him if you're worried, but I wouldn't talk about him behind his back even with your own dh

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      07.04.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • i guess you always have to trust your instincts. but some people are also just really into kids--especially if your BIL is lonely and afraid he won't get to have his own! i think it's sad a single guy has to be so careful about being enthusiastic about hanging out with kids. there was a david sedaris essay about how he was trying to help this lost kid find his parents but at the same time he was terrified people would suspect him of stealing some kid for nefarious purposes because he is gay, and gay guys apparently aren't allowed to like hanging out with kids either.

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      07.04.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Go with your gut- if you see him so infrequently- it should be easy not to leave him alone with your dd- I wouldn't necessarily mention anything to dh unless there is a specific instance in which you can peg and give an example for.

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      07.04.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • trust your instincts. who cares if you're wrong. my uncle tried to molest me and he was the nicest guy in a seemingly happy marriage. aunt & him just got divorced and am so curious to know whether he molested my niece. especially since she went to live with her mom 2 states away (despite going away to college)

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      07.04.09, 12:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Be cautious but I wouldn't say anything to dh. Unless you have more than a hunch it's too harsh.

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      07.04.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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