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Has anyone had a dc who had difficulty with confidence (socially and physically) and how do you overcome? Almost 3.5 yo ds is extremely agile and always physically ahead of the curve but when it comes to doing anything new (sports, games) he freezes up and refuses. Also, is very scared of rejection when it comes to peers and therefore does not put himself out there and often does things to annoy other kids as a defense mechanism (even though I know he really wants to engage). Feel so bad and do not know what I can do to help.
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Really? How do I know who the most popular kid is? Was your dc similar and how did this help? What kinds of things rubbed off on him/her?
[ Reply | Options ]I voluteered to read at the school, helped with the bake sale and was very chatty after school. It soon became obvious that a kid "
[ Reply | Options ]^^^named "Alex" was the "cool kid" who everyone wanted to hang with. So I was VERY calculated and made friends with the Mother and pushed for playdates. (She was a Working Mom and baby-sitter was very happy to drop him off) Soon, my son, "Jay" was very good friends with "Alex" and they were so happy to see each other in school. This opened the pathway for my son to be more social.
[ Reply | Options ]How old? But didn't all the kids want to play with the cool kid and how did he have time? I did not think this happened at such a young age.
[ Reply | Options ]I was very push and persistent when it came to getting them together. I made sure I got into a conversation about Halloween in early Oct. "Alex's" mom said he was going trick or treating with his friend and the mom ended up inviting me...yet another bonding experience! It took work and calculation--but it paid off. By May EVERY SINGLE KID wanted to come to my kid's b-day party! Whenever I felt like a jackass for doing this I would repeat in my head "She Stoops to Conquer"
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He's only 3. Please don't give this a second thought. Relax and carry on, it'll all work out.
[ Reply | Options ]Actually, I was not worried about it because as you say he is only 3! But then teacher mentioned it as a potential issue to work on.
[ Reply | Options ]fair enough. I only say this because I was you 6 years ago. My ds had a teacher who said work on it, but turns out she was a looney tune herself. Now that I know her and her motivation, I wouldn't leand any credence to her opinion of my ds "issues" or lack thereof. Just keep on keeping on. Be the best mom you can be, expose your ds to all the city has to offer- either on your own- or with friends. He will be just fine.
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