UrbanBaby Asks...
Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
- I really don't enjoy it at all, and wish I could spend less time with them
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Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)
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I find it terribly sad that just because somebody expresses their opinion that one parent should stay at home to raise a child that it's labeled as "uncivilized." I feel for your children. Funny how nobody answers the question about WHY they had kids...not a single reply to that. :-(
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You really have a reading comprehension problem, don't you? The post said "the way you express your opinions is uncivilized" which is absolutely, 100% true. You're a bull in a china shop and you ruin any discussion that's already going on by your relentless, repetitive attacks and self-righteous me me me attitude. There are plenty of SAHMS on this board, yours truly included, who can manage to discuss the topic in a decent way without venom and personal attacks. If you really cared about your "opinions" you'd try it.
[ Reply | More ]Your tone, which is laced with anger and hostility, is what's putting people off an what people see as uncivilized, not the viewpoint you expressed in this post. And why do you care so much about spouting this viewpoint? You seem defensive about your own choices, to top it off. To each their own.
[ Reply | More ]Nope. No hostility or anger and if you perceive it that way then that's YOUR problem not mine. I'm totally happy with MY choices, are you with yours? Seems to me the people who blatatly attack me & just have to have my posts "removed by moderator" (boohoo) are the ones thare angry, hostile, and can't handle others' opinions. I'm not going to be "nice-nice" on this board just to spare other people's feelings. I'm going to say what I want in a manner that I want. If you don't like it then don't respond. Thanks! ;-)
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You really do have some kind of psycho-social disorder. It's like someone going into a restaurant where everyone is having a good time and then screaming at the top of your lungs...and then being surprised when people are annoyed and ask you to leave the restaurant. The web is only a "free" space in the sense that it's self-regulated or community-regulated. You don't seem to understand the concept of social give and take. And sorry--you can keep claiming that it's everyone's problem but yours and everyone else here is angry, hostile, crazy, etc. but after a while you just sound like the schizo guy who's insisting that there are evil purple monsters in the room and that everyone who can't seem them must be crazy. Anyway--off to dinner. Good luck.
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Ummm....the people I call "wacko" are the ones that jump on me for my opinions. Everybody is entitled to them even if they don't agree with the majority. For the record, I never name-called until I was called a "c***". And no, I'm not harping on that, but if that's how this board is then so be it. I can play with the rest of 'em. ;-)
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So you're defending calling people wacko? Have you not noticed that everyone on this board is united in agreement that you are rude and hostile. How is that everyone else is the one with a problem, not you?
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Have you ever heard the expression "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"? Your tone makes people shut out everything that you say. You're actually doing your cause more harm than good. You'll be used as an example of SAHM and give ammunition to people who are against that option.
[ Reply | More ]I don't really care what people think about the fact that I SAH. I do it because I want to and people can call me whatever they want but I know I am doing the very best thing. I think the people that defend the option to work are those who feel the need to defend themselves so they bash those who SAH to cover for their own insecurities because they don't spend any time with their kids.
[ Reply | More ]oh blah blah blah. You sound just like the obnoxious EBFers the other day. It's fine--do whatever you want but continually and smugly trumpeting what a great mother you are and how your way is the best and only way only makes us long for the day that your kid gets his first failing report card or gets nabbed with a trunkful of marijuana. There is no magic bullet, OK?
[ Reply | More ]What an asinine statement, "trunkful of marijuana". Sorry, sweetie, but the ones that'll have kids in juvenile hall are for drug charges are the ones that don't keep an eye on their teens after school because they're busying being "power women" at their jobs. And just because somebody states that they think SAHMs are better than WOHMs doesn't make them "smug" but if you perceive it that way, it's YOUR problem. But you know what....I AM pretty darn smug - LOL! I'll take that as a compliment. BTW: I'm not the one who made the above comment that you're so pissy about, but I agree with it 100%. ;-) Luv, 867-5309 Girl
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np: I am going to ask you the same thing I ask others who express opinions like yours? If you have a daughter will you send her to college or encourage her to have a career? if so why? what's the point, in your world women should make babies and raise them, everything they do up until that point is just killing time right? Go back to 1951 your white gloves and pill box hat (and stash of anti-depressants and martinis)are waiting for you.
[ Reply | More ]I have a few smart, motivated, hardworking post-college interns in my office who were raised by good hearted and responsible SAHMs, and -- according to them - -they tried loads of drugs and engaged in plenty of irresponsible behavior during adolescence. I have another friend, daughter of a mom who worked and traveled CONSTANTLY, but was an engaged and active parent. Her kid has never even smoked pot. Straightest arrow in the book. I think it's ignorant to assume that whether a mother works or doesn't will determine her children's risky behavior. Like the earlier poster wrote -- there is no magic bullet. Just be present when you are with your kids and let them know that they matter above everything else in your life, even though you work. And don't assume because you're a SAHM, you know everything happening in your teen's life -- I can assure you that you don't.
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OTOH, the fact that you defend your option as "the very best thing" is to cover your insecurity that you have no career or financial worth whatsoever. . .
[ Reply | More ]Uhhh...I don't know what her career was or if she had one, but I know that I did and still have a substantial financial worth from the money I made while working. We SAHMs are not insecure about anything (at least I'M not) but you WOHMs come here & attack SAHMs because you know darn well that you're doing a disservice to your child. ;-)
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OMG! I soooo agree! You rock. ;-) Luv, 867-5309 Girl p.s. This is to the SHM above.
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I happen to feel that up to the elementary grades, one parent should not work FT. If the other parent must work it should only be PT. The years go by so quickly and young babies/children benefit in terms of security and a sense of well being when there is parental involvement on a large scale in their lives. I am NOT jenny and disagree with her mean tactics, but want to express in another way that as a parent it is the best gift we can give our young children ie to make THEM the priority for these important years. My kids are in middle school and I am back PT; I wouldn't have wanted to not be there for them and whatever the years ahead may bring I have the peace of mind that I did what was right for my kids, in my own judgement.
[ Reply | More ]which is totally FINE!!! I was lucky enough to SAH and I loved it, but I know it is not right for everyone, temperamentally, financially, career-wise. I have never thought "wow--so-and-so is a sh*tty parent because she didn't SAH." I knew a lot of moms who were much happier and more stable after returning to work at least part-time if not full-time. And frankly a lot of the WOHM's that I know are the ones with the work-hard-play-hard attitude and energy--I'd say that they give 100% at work and 100% to their kids (and like 0% to actual sleep or leisure!)
[ Reply | More ]Sure, the MOMS were happier and stable, but what about the CHILD, the one that's the most important? How come you selfish people only talk about me, me, me? ICK!
[ Reply | More ]That's classic. Sweetie, all you EVER talk about is you, you, you! : ) Have you ever actually posted a question, a comment, shared an idea about your DD or actual parenting? No--it's all about you...
[ Reply | More ]Yes, actually, I've posted question and comments many times. Just do a search on "Jenny" and you'll see. Ummm...Dumb-ass, when I said that all you do is talk about "Me, me, me" I didn't mean literally "ME" as in Jenny. I meant that you are very selfish and only think of yourselves instead of your child. Good god, how dumb are you NYers? Seriously. UGH!
[ Reply | More ]Jenny you need to go back on your meds. You do not have a nanny, you have a babysitter. Also, you obviously got your "nanny" because they knew you could not handle the week without a few hours to yourself. So get off that pulpit your standing on and reflect on your own miserable life. You could use some down time.
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WOHM here. Ignore the bashers. I think the way you expressed it is fine. Everyone's opinion is differnet. There are some that may say that you must be there for your DCs even in middle school, and that what you're doing means that you're not there for them in their teenage years. The variations on theme are endless. In the end I think we all just try our best to do what's best for our families.
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People have kids because: 1. What else would you do with your life? 2. To care for them in their old age (yeah, lots of luck with that). 3. And for the "unconditional love".
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np- Not really. Having kids has long been a societal expectation. You grow up, you get married, wait a few years, have kids.
[ Reply | More ]That's a stupid thing to say. Who cares about "societal expectations"? If society were jumping off a cliff, you would too? Wow, talk about a follower. Nobody should do something just because they THINK society expects it of them. That's a total disservice to the child/ren that you bring into this world. How awful!
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i'll add a #4 to that. i think there's a biological imperative we can't even sense that urges us to replace both parents for future survival. we can talk about all that other stuff, but when it comes down to it there are thousands of years of evolution propelling us to reproduce.
[ Reply | More ]A "biological imperative"...(eyeroll). OH brother! Another stupid reason. Why don't I see any responses like, "Because I love children" and "I wanted to be a mother"? UGH!
[ Reply | More ]you're brain dead. see the number in front of that? 4? there's ABSOLUTELY a biological imperative to reproduce...if you can get your head out of your 21st century arse and educate yourself about evolution, you'd understand. first, you have to want to be a mother or father. then you have to want to love that child more than you love yourself. etc. etc. if you think all of your reproductive choices are conscious ones you're a bigger idiot than you appear.
[ Reply | More ]Reproduction ISN'T a conscious choice? OMG! LOL! What kind of animal are you, seriously? Are you a friggin' ape or something? Humans can make conscious decisions, animals can't. I guess we know where you stand. UGH!
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It's obvious who the brain-dead one is. The idiot who actually thinks that humans don't consciously reproduce. LOLOLOLOLOL!!! ;-)
[ Reply | More ]clearly not all i wrote, but based on your emoticon it's not surprising that your reaction is THAT ignorant. how is it that you manage to walk upright? you're dismissed.
[ Reply | More ]Thank god I'm dismissed. I don't qualify for being in a class of people like you who rode the short bus to school. ICK!
[ Reply | More ]oh dear, this is awkward. here hon, let me help: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dismissed
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let me rant for a minute about posting on UB. once you make a comment about "you" or "your", it's not a comment about the issue, it's an insult to the reader. you originally had a good point, that there is a valid argument for having a parent stay at home. but once you say "i feel sorry for your children", you are point is completely set aside. and then to end with that little sarcasm...you hijacked your own post and lost the opportunity to have a really good discussion about the merits of having a sahp.
[ Reply | More ]Okay, I'm laughing my butt off because all of the comments that were "removed by moderator" this time, weren't mine! LOL! Luv, 867-5309 Girl ;-)
[ Reply | More ]So let me get this straight "Jenny"; you are supposed to be able to say anything you want, any way you want--including in ways that are almost universally viewed as insulting, provocative, and self-righteous even by those who fundementally agree with you--, but it is "terribly sad" if others form opinions about how you choose to express yourself that differ from you own rose-colored perception of yourself. To put it crudely, it sounds like you want everyone to tell you that both your shit and your Quiche Lorraine smell like petunias.
[ Reply | More ]I can take criticism just fine, or else I wouldn't be here. The fact that you criticize me for advocating SAHMs is pretty pathetic though. And yes, I can say anything I want, in any manner that I want. Do you think I give a crap that what I say is viewed "universally"? Besides, that's YOUR opinion anyway. YOU don't know how everybody views what I have to say (are you a friggin mind-reader, Dumb-ass). As for me being self-righteous, that's your opinion again. And yes, it is terribly sad that somebody who doesn't agree with people neglecting their kids is "uncivilized". Now you can bite me. Luv, 867-5309 Girl ;-)
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You seriously need to LOG OFF of UrbanBaby.com and start associating with people face to face. You are unhinged. Relax, sweetheart. Take your kid to the park or whatever it is you SAHM's do.
[ Reply | More ]Don't you people have anything new to say? Seriously. FYI: We just got home from a visit with great-grandma and a pool party where we "associated" face to face (eyeroll). I think the only ones that need to relax are the NY freaks that don't get outta the house enough cause your weather is constantly so crappy. Now, why don't you get back to work and don't worry about your kid sitting in that daycare where he/she could drown in a water bucket because some minimum wage earner doesn't care enough to pay attention to your kid...or whatever it is you WOHMs do. ;-)
[ Reply | More ]Andrea Yates drowned her 5 children. But thank goodness she was a stay at home mom. She's a real hero.
[ Reply | More ]Uhhh....Stupid, she had PPD and was told not to have any more children. Her asshole of a husband is the one who wanted her to have more. They were "god-fearing" people (what a joke!) I'm not surprised they were holy rollers. ICK! p.s. I know you're just grasping for straws because you couldn't handle the water bucket comment. Poor thing. It must suck to be you. :-(
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Pssstttt....I hear Susan Smith was a WOHM (whispering)...she can be YOUR hero! LOL! ;-) Loser.
[ Reply | More ]Actually she was a SAHM but she needed to find a job to support her kids. But instead you met a man she thought would support her, except that he didn't want any kids.
[ Reply | More ]Yawn....I'm sure if I had time to google & troll the internet like you do (is the drive-thru THAT slow today?) then I could google a bunch of moms who killed their kids & where WOHMs, but alas, I'm not as lame as you. LOL! ;-)
[ Reply | More ]Oh, please cunt. You love googling *facts*. You seem to think that children are only harmed in daycare or with a babysitter because of what you call a negligent working mom. Plenty of maimed and dead children by the hands of their SAHM. You're the one insulting people and wishing their kid will drown at daycare.
[ Reply | More ]You're really fucked up in the head to say that I'm wishing their kid would drown in daycare, and you're one angry MO-FO too....I can tell by your "c" word usage. ICK! You're scary, angry, and probably guilty for neglecting your own child. The "fact" is that anybody can harm a child, I wasn't hte one who brought up Andrea Yates, but I'm the one who finished the argument by putting your moron ass in your place. Now buzz off, freak. ICK!
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She was still a stay at home mom. Don't fault her Jenny. She did what you wanted her to do. She didn't have an abortion and gosh darn it she stayed home with her kids.
[ Reply | More ]She should've had an abortion or given those kids up. Your argument is weak (Andrea Yates - eyeroll - how pathetic). Now why don't you run along & make a shrine to your fellow WOHM, Susan Smith. I hear she likes to swim. ICK!
[ Reply | More ]I use an eyebrow pencil to take messages because I can't find a working pen in my house.
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When I was a kid I put away all my Barbie dolls in a bag on top of my closet. A mouse got in and couldn't get out. The smell was terrible.
[ Reply | More ]Oh, no. Did it traumatize you? I remember my boy cousin flushing my Barbie head down the toilet. I think I cried for 5 days. LOL.
[ Reply | More ]I was a little older at the time, so no. But I did want to save them and my parents - God bless them, cleaned them up and bleached them. I never played with them again, but it was very nice of them to do it for me (don't flame, we really couldn't afford a lot when I was little, so they couldn't replace them).
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