UrbanBaby - I want to break it off with an old frien...

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I want to break it off with an old friend. Her narcissism and judgemental and critical nature are just too much for me to take. It was bad when we were in our 20's but now that we're in our 30's with children (we each have 2) I just can't take it anymore. How should I go about this?
10 replies
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06.22.09, 06:34 AM [ Flag ]
- don't break it off formally. just stop seeing each other, don't give of yourself. much better this way as you will undoubtedly run into each other particularly as you both have children. why add more negative energy into the world?
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  06.22.09, 06:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - Yeah just ignore and move on. It's natural.
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    06.22.09, 06:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - OP- I've been friends with this person a long time. Has anyone else been through this? Did you just stop doing things with them or did you still spend some time with them to avoid the conflict? Every time I'm with her I come home seething. Wished my college friends lived close by! The only good thing about the situation is it is making me be less critical of others because I see how truly ugly and ridiculous it is to criticize other parents. I vowed this morning to work really hard at this from now on!
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      06.22.09, 07:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - np-just stop seeing her as much. start becoming busy with other people/things.
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        06.22.09, 07:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I would confront her- but that's just my nature.
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  06.22.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- See her less, don't tell her anything, and when she says something hurtful to you, poit it out in a jokey way. Like. "Ouch, that really hurts!" or, "if someone said that about me, I would be so upset.."
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  06.22.09, 07:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - she judges other, not me as much but often what she says applies to larger groups- like "anyone who does ____ is not a good mom". I think she must be really insecure to have this need to put down others all the time.
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    06.22.09, 07:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- We all ahve a friend like this. Best just to limit time with them. I avoid all 1 on 1 time (and even just the two couples hanging out) and plan more group activities.
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  06.22.09, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Limit contact, make new friends to hang out with more and more and just simply concentrate on moving on. Friendships sometime do have a lifespan. She doesn't want to hear that she's narcissistic, judgemental, and has a critical nature and that you want to break it off. She will just turn it around and you will be the crazy freak.
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  06.22.09, 10:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I was in this situation. So much resentment and anger coming from the friend. Just stopped calling but it took me a while.
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  06.22.09, 10:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]