UrbanBaby - Seeking non-judgmental advice. I'm marr...

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Seeking non-judgmental advice. I'm married. Unhappily - but need to stay in it for financial reasons. It has been 2 years since we've made love. I've recently met someone - and though nothing has happened, we've grown close through email contact, lunches. I think i might be falling in love. I can't leave my husband though, because I'm supporting him financially,and because he's also out of work, I think it would devastate him. I feel like a terrible person for wanting this other person. But I wish to someday be happy in my life. Should i cut contact with this other man until I'm available? Or can I continue to see him? It makes me so happy to see him and it feels really good.
7 replies
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06.12.09, 07:50 PM [ Flag ]
- cut, severe, break, run, stop all contact. Now.
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  06.12.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - why?
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    06.12.09, 07:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Confused- if you're supporting him, why are YOU staying in it for financial reasons? And ask yourself this, if you left your husband and this other man DIDN'T wind up marrying you, would you still be happy to be out of the marriage?
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  06.12.09, 07:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Do the dignified thing. (Gosh know so many cheaters right now!) separate from your hubby - you can still support him, then go see new guy. Dont cheat. It wont make you happy and will erode your self-respect.
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  06.12.09, 08:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Absolutely separate and then start seeing him. It may or may not work out, but your DH obviously is not working out. I don't think you'd have respect for him or yourself in you stayed in it to support him. What do you think DH would you, you would WANT him to do, if the situation were reversed? Break up and move on.
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  06.12.09, 08:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- i have a few thougts. #1- if you left dh, it may be the kick in the ass he needs to start earning again. as long as you are supporting him, he may never find a job! #2- if i were you, i would cheat. i would see how it goes if you are iffy about leaving dh. more often than not, a hot connection fizzles out after physical intimacy is established. the lusting and anticipation is most of the illusion. if its an actual true love, you will know and wont feel so torn about disrupting your life. i know that these two views are contradictory but think it over.
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  06.12.09, 08:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- serious talk with dh about he needs to get work; and that you want this to work. then cut this other thing off; give your marriage a fighting chance, but doesn't have one while this is going on. good luck.
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  06.12.09, 08:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]