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Twins Mom, I want to ask you this : do you take your twins on a separate playdate? or are they always together? My situation is my ds loves playing w/ one boy, but not w/ his twin brother. Always end up this one hitting, kicking, throwing things at my ds and his brother.
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06.06.09, 01:02 PM Flag ]
- Mine are only 19 months so we haven't really done playdates (they play with older sibs) but i would definitely bring them separately if I could swing it logistically if they are of an age when they really play together, rather than parallel play. Or in a sit like yours, when there is antipathy. but it would be weird for you to suggest to twin mom, kind of, "we'd love to play with a but not with b because he is a pill."
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  06.06.09, 01:24 PM Flag
  - they're all 3 yos. and i must admit, three's a crowd. i guess no more playdate w/ the twins. it's just too much to deal w/ the difficult twin.
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    06.06.09, 01:30 PM Flag
    - three is a crowd and i would understand but other twin moms might not. if you know her well you could try. if she doesn't have a nanny it might be hard for her to do separate ones until they are old enough for dropoffs
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      06.06.09, 02:07 PM Flag
    - the other possibility is if they do get old enough for dropoff playdates you could suggest it to her as a way of lightening her load, saying that Bruno would like a little one-on-one time with Jacob, they seem to get on so well together
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      06.06.09, 02:08 PM Flag
      - when they are old enough for dropoff, they will ask for their own playdates.
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        06.06.09, 08:01 PM Flag
    - sounds like you are having issues with the dominant twin. it isn't that he is difficult, its just that he is dominant in their dynamic. at this age, he may be upset at the disruption in their bond by another ds (jealous or betrayed), hence, the acting out behavior.
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      06.06.09, 08:27 PM Flag
- np: At age 3 yrs, I would not have done it. I think it is too young to start having separate playdates, especially if b/b or g/g twins. I understand your plight, but as a twin mom, I find that sort of splitting of my twins slightly offensive and rather offputting (not to mention logistically difficult since it is hard to drop off a 3yo. If someone expresses liking one twin, but not the other (even if I understand why they feel that way) I opt out. this would be true for playdates, birthday parties, etc. when they are older it doesn't matter since they form their own friends in different classes.
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  06.06.09, 07:58 PM Flag
  - agree. I would skip the kid who cannot get along with both of my twins at that age. I have even skipped birthday parties at later ages if I felt it would hurt one of their feelings.
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    06.06.09, 08:37 PM Flag
    - as much as you need to protect your twins, i need to protect my dc too.
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      06.07.09, 06:38 AM Flag
      - so stop obsessing about it. your 3 yo must have other playmates. skip the twins and move on.
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        06.07.09, 06:56 AM Flag
- and what does his mom do while this is going on?
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  06.07.09, 02:47 AM Flag
  - OP: nothing. i'm always the one who stops the dominant twin or their full-time housekeeper/babysitter tries. his mom says "it's the stage" and that's it. just don't want my ds or the other twin get hurt physically.
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    06.07.09, 06:36 AM Flag
    - please find another playmate for your dc. you have posted at least twice about this
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      06.07.09, 06:57 AM Flag
      - first time posting, just to let you know.
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        06.07.09, 07:38 AM Flag
    - So be busy for a few months and then try again. Maybe the "phase" will indeed pass. Or Mom will get a clue when she stops getting invites. At this age I think it would be very difficult for either you or Mom to separate the twins' social lives.
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      06.07.09, 07:47 AM Flag
    - definitely time to put distance between these kids; as np suggested, just be busy. it's not right or fair to your dc that this should be happening and the mom does nothing.
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      06.07.09, 09:53 PM Flag

Twins Mom, I want to ask you this : do you take your twins on a separate playdate? or are they always together? My situation is my ds loves playing w/ one boy, but not w/ his twin brother. Always end up this one hitting, kicking, throwing things at my ds and his brother.

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Twins Mom, I want to ask you this : do you take your twins on a separate playdate? or are they always together? My situation is my ds loves playing w/ one boy, but not w/ his twin brother. Always end up this one hitting, kicking, throwing things at my ds and his brother.

they're all 3 yos. and i must admit, three's a crowd. i guess no more playdate w/ the twins. it's just too much to deal w/ the difficult twin.

three is a crowd and i would understand but other twin moms might not. if you know her well you could try. if she doesn't have a nanny it might be hard for her to do separate ones until they are old enough for dropoffs

the other possibility is if they do get old enough for dropoff playdates you could suggest it to her as a way of lightening her load, saying that Bruno would like a little one-on-one time with Jacob, they seem to get on so well together

when they are old enough for dropoff, they will ask for their own playdates.

sounds like you are having issues with the dominant twin. it isn't that he is difficult, its just that he is dominant in their dynamic. at this age, he may be upset at the disruption in their bond by another ds (jealous or betrayed), hence, the acting out behavior.

agree. I would skip the kid who cannot get along with both of my twins at that age. I have even skipped birthday parties at later ages if I felt it would hurt one of their feelings.

as much as you need to protect your twins, i need to protect my dc too.

so stop obsessing about it. your 3 yo must have other playmates. skip the twins and move on.

and what does his mom do while this is going on?

OP: nothing. i'm always the one who stops the dominant twin or their full-time housekeeper/babysitter tries. his mom says "it's the stage" and that's it. just don't want my ds or the other twin get hurt physically.

please find another playmate for your dc. you have posted at least twice about this

first time posting, just to let you know.

So be busy for a few months and then try again. Maybe the "phase" will indeed pass. Or Mom will get a clue when she stops getting invites. At this age I think it would be very difficult for either you or Mom to separate the twins' social lives.

definitely time to put distance between these kids; as np suggested, just be busy. it's not right or fair to your dc that this should be happening and the mom does nothing.