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Why do you women that insist on purposely being single moms think that it's fair to the kid to deprive them of a father? If you don't have a live-in father then you shouldn't have kids. Studies have shown that most kids without fathers are screwed up the rest of their lives.
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It's my business because I don't want your screwed up kid in school with my kid and causing trouble in the classroom constantly.
[ Reply | Options ]yeah--you sound like real peach. How about I don't want YOUR child (of bitter, screwed-up mom probably in desperately unhappy marriage and trying to justify staying in it) in the same classroom with my happy, healthy, smart well-behaved kid?
[ Reply | Options ]Actually, I'm in a very happy marriage with a healthy, beautiful daughter. I can understand your jealousy, but just because you say it doesn't make it so. Sorry. :-( I understand your contempt though.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks, your smugness. I am happily divorced with a healthy, beautiful and very successful daughter and yet somehow I don't need to shore up my self-esteem by attacking other people's choices, whether single moms, divorcees, or smug marrieds like yourself. I can tell you one thing for sure though--karma's a bitch. Enjoy.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm sorry, but I don't believe in Karma and if I did I certainly wouldn't be afraid of it for stating my opinion on a message board. Tell me something, why are you divorced? Did you husband cheat on you or vice versa? Were you abused? Was your husband addicted to drugs? Or did you just feel that you didn't like him anymore so you broke up your home & didn't give a hoot about how your child felt? I can guarantee you that if none of the above reason (abuse, adultery, addiction) apply then your daughter is not as happy as you think without her father around everyday. Poor thing. :-(
[ Reply | Options ]LOL! Why on God's green earth would any of this be your business? I'm happy with my lot and so is my DD. If you were as content as you claim to be, you'd be doing something else constructive with your morning aside from attacking people and trying--creepily--to glean information about a perfect stranger. Back to work now, and again, try to stop being so poisonous. Not healthy for you or anyone around you.
[ Reply | Options ]I see you won't answer the question. That speaks volumes. I'm sure you're convinced that your daughter is "happy". I'm sure if you really asked her to tell you the truth she'd say different. This is why the world has so many fucked up kids & adults lately.
[ Reply | Options ]...and I'm sure you're convince that your marriage is "happy"--the difference lies in your compulsive need to judge and doubt MY personal life and "happiness" whereas I really don't give a sh*t about yours since I don't know you. You really might want to think hard about why you do this. Most happy people don't spend a lot of time trying to belittle other people's personal choices.
[ Reply | Options ]You can believe what you'd like, I know the truth & that's all that matters. You don't have to answer the question, I already know the answer. :-( Your poor daughter. You obviously wouldn't spend so much time arguing with me if you weren't bugged by what I said. Oh well, try to have a nice day anyway. :-)
[ Reply | Options ]As I pointed out earlier, I don't know you and don't give a sh*t about the "truth" of your marriage, therefore I refrain from judging your happiness therein--you might think of extending others the same courtesy. And btw--my "dauther" is an honors student at a top HS so homework is going just fine, thanks. :^)
[ Reply | Options ]Oy vey! Now you're on here calling others "twits" because they see you for what you are? Yup, it's me, the OP...I'm back. Oh, and before you start calling me neglectful (because you have nothing else) my daughter is taking her afternoon nap right now. No, I'm not in the same time zone as you.
[ Reply | Options ]Oh...so you have a child of napping age--that explains a lot. Please check back in 5 or 6 years when your kid/s are over four--that's when the divorces start. Basic biology, dear. Oh, and I don't really care whether or not you neglect your daughter or what time zone you're in--again, your business not mine. I still think you're creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, I have a child of napping age. Divorces start at 5 & 6 years of age? Really, since when? Now who's generalizing? And I agree, what does biology have to do with it? You are sooooo damn lame it's not even funny! Now I see the problem: your husband left you when your kid was 6 & you're bitter & mean. Either that or you never had a father for your kid, just got knocked up because you didn't know how to use birth control. Poor thing. :-( I even doubt the comment about your daughter.
[ Reply | Options ]Whatever floats your boat, dear. I still find it weird that you're spending so much time making erroneous speculations about the personal lives of strangers (in other time zones no less). I've finally come to suspect that you have a personal history of divorce, single motherhood, or abandonment that makes you feel so strongly about this issue. That's fine--I do know people who grew up in unstable homes who place an extra level of value on having an intact family and they've been happy and successful, but given that you still seem to have such virulently angry feelings, I still wish you'd be a little less judgmental and presumptuous about other peoples' experiences. Re divorce--read the research if you're curious. Marriages tend to founder more often once the children reach the age of biological "survivability"--i.e. 4-6. Does this mean that every marriage will shatter once the kids are that age? Of course not. Nor is every child of single or divorced parents a miserable, disruptive wreck as you keep claiming.
[ Reply | Options ]You can go ahead & believe whatever you'd like. It makes no difference to me. I know my life and I'm beginning to speculate on yours (very sad). Your research is nothing but a joke that you can't even provide proof of. And you still haven't answered my question about biology being a part of divorcing when your child is around 5 (big eyeroll). Oh, and this stuff about divorce, abandonment, etc.... I'm sure it clearly defines your sad existence of a life. I'm sorry. I hope someday you find happiness, especially for your poor children. :-(
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Why do ignorant idiots like you think it's fair to procreate, pass on your genes to dcs and become a mother at all, whether you're married or not? Studies show that idiotic and neurotic married mothers like you clearly are have disturbed kids. Not fair to those kids.
[ Reply | Options ]And it's a lot more cruel than a together single mother making an informed decision about having children.
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God, you single moms are really grasping for straws, aren't you? Your kid will know other kids with dads & see them on t.v. (since most single moms use t.v. as a babysitter quite often). It's mentality like yours that is producing fucked up kids & grown-ups in our society. How sad.
[ Reply | Options ]i don't understand what exactly these single moms are supposed to do at this point? is it a mom's fault if her husband walks out on her? that has happened to more than one of my friends. the original post was about moms who choose to be single, but i think many more moms end up single through no choice of their own. many already feel very guilty. how is beating them up about their situation any help to them or their kids? i think giving extra support to single-parent families is a great thing to do. criticizing them, not so much.
[ Reply | Options ]You're right, a woman can't help it if her man walks out on her. BUT, how does somebody choose a man like that? Usually the type of men who are apt to walk out on a woman & her child didn't just change overnight. Most women see red flags before they marry a man. Sadly, many choose to ignore those red flags because they are searching for love and want to get married & have children. But you're right, if a woman (through no fault of her own and didn't any red flags before marrying the guy) gets left by her husband then of course she has no other choice but to work. BUT she better go after the SOB for child support and alimony!
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Sad but true. Having a loving mother is great but most of life's influences (especially for girls) is on the father. It's been studied that "most girls want to marry a man like their father" and since the woman decided to fly solo (on purpose) girls are running off in teenage years hoping to find any male that will validate her need for love and affection and end up pregnant or severely misguided. I truly believe this is why there are so many failed marriages in the world. Although not all dads are great either but since this post refers only to mothers, I just addresses that.
[ Reply | Options ]Where's this study? What is the link? I love when people post about some so-called study. Sounds like some religious neo-con on the board. I know your leader Bristol Palin disappointed you but don't take your hate out on other "single mothers by choice".
[ Reply | Options ]Sorry, but I'm an Independent. I don't care for Palin, McCain, or Obama so you can shove that theory right up your ass. Now go find a dad for your kid!
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Why don't you Google them, you manless, retarded piece of shit? Are you too stupid or just afraid that I'm right?
[ Reply | Options ]but....since you're too stupid, here's some links for ya: http://www.photius.com/feminocracy/facts_on_fatherless_kids.html
[ Reply | Options ]and another one....http://net-burst.net/marital/father.htm
[ Reply | Options ]oh gee...and another one.... http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0FCR/is_4_35/ai_84017196/ Should I keep going, "cunt", or are you done wanting to look like a fool?
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I'm not afraid that you are right. Anyone can google a bunch of studies with dubious research, data, merit and conclusions. Studies that pretend to be unbiased and then later are found out to have the data manipulated to support a political or religious agenda. So pull out all the links you want. The point is neither you or I can verify this data. Also a lot of these so-called studies don't take into account other important factors. And while your child may have father, your child has a cunt for a mother.
[ Reply | Options ]First you tell me to provide you with proof now your only comeback is "anybody can google" - well, apparently YOU couldn't and now that somebody else has & proven you WRONG, you can't handle it. There's nothing religious or political about those links and you know it! And the fact that you use the "cunt" word so liberally proves to me that you shouldn't be a single mother. Freak!
[ Reply | Options ]np: only one of the links you provide has a solid study - one even says that it is not scientific but should be followed
[ Reply | Options ]you are a freak lady. What's your problem? YOu know what it is? It's reading internet studies. Only idiots believe them. YOu are truly a moron and I am married with a kid. YOu are not only a moron, but you are sick
[ Reply | Options ]As a matter of fact, I don't just read internet studies. In the line of work that I used to be in (before I had a child) I used to work with children and saw with my own eyes what the absence of a father can do. How the hell do you come off calling me "sick" for stating facts? Oh, I guess YOU don't like what I have to say & don't agree with it so your only resort is to call me names. I'd bet you're not even married & just lying about it. Freak.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I have a child & WORK with children. There are many ways to screw up kids & sometimes SAH is one of them. It all depends on the parents & how much time they spend with dc & how much room they give them to make their own mistakes. Great dc come from single moms, SAHP, two career oriented married parents, single dads, gay parents. . . .
[ Reply | Options ]Sure, everything is a "sometimes" but I never said a woman shouldn't have a life outside of her child's. That's just dumb to assume that. I have somebody who comes a few days a week for a few hours so I can get stuff done and have a break. There's nothing wrong with that. Why a SAHM would need a full-time nanny is beyond me but everybody needs a little help now & then. You can't argue that a SAHM is going to screw up a kid the same way as not having a father would. That's just not logical & quite ignorant.
[ Reply | Options ]This post has gotten so mixed up. But you are wrong in your bashing of WOHMs & your defense of all things SAH. You also don't seem to understand that your studies of broken homes to not apply to families where it was a choice to become a single parent later in life. You also seem to think that you can take stats & broadly apply them to all situations, you cannot.
[ Reply | Options ]Having an opinion of working mothers is not "bashing". It's just what it is: an opinion. I'm not sure why you people don't get that. It's not that complicated of a concept. Like I said, it's selfish to break up a home just because parents don't feel that they "love" each other anymore or decide they don't want to be married. Responsible people make it work for the sake of the children. They treat each other respectfully, get along, & keep a stable home. The exception to this is cases of abuse, adultery, or addiction. When you become a parent your child should become the most important part of your life. If they're not then you shouldn't be a parent.
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I never thought about getting married,as a child OR until I met my marriage partner of 20 yrs . It's important for children to have both male AND female role models; Protectors,educators and loving,nurturing, close, adult relationships aren't limited to moms and dads. Imo, It's a tiring attempt to lay blame on 'imperfection', rationalize staying married in less than healthy relationships and continue to deny individuality. snoooozerooo. OP, lets get some links on some of the studies to which you're referring-and maybe a peek at why you give a yank.
[ Reply | Options ]I already posted some links above. You can take a look if you'd like. If you're not convinced then please feel free to google some more. :-)
[ Reply | Options ]Your links are shallow, biased and excuse me, but "google"? and rhe weird icon smile? Get out and live some more. If you're OP, your post is about single by choice. Do you know any? I do; their kids aren't remarkably socially debilitated or emotionally damaged as a group, in contrast to kids from 2 parent families. Your opinion is just that and I don't share it.
[ Reply | Options ]You asked for links & then, because you don't like to be proven wrong, you call them "shallow". That's really stupid. I've lived plenty and I know exactly what this thread was originally about. The topic got off a little bit and that's okay. I've also stated my opinion on mom's who work. If you don't like it then don't read it. I feel sorry for you that you can't handle somebody else's opinion. I'd bet you're a single mom who's baby daddy left you. I'm sorry. :-(
[ Reply | Options ]I've been married to the same man for 20 yrs, parented our kids together through good, bad and all times.I can handle a difference of opinion but don't equate that with holding back my own. I'm sure you could better spend your time googling accounts 'the facts' instead of feeling sorry for me. I can't locate where I posted anything to be offensive to you and find your "bet' to be weird, passive aggressive and an indication that you have problems with opinions which differ from your own.
[ Reply | Options ]I already know the facts so I don't have to spend any more time. But you can if you'd like. :-) I'm glad that you stayed married for 20 years and raised a happy family, your children must be well-adjusted having had a father around all those years. I hope to be married that long as well...hopefully even longer.
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Hmm, I grew up without a father in my life at all. Now I'm 36, have undergrad and grad degrees in computer science, have a great career in technology management, am happily married with 1 dc. I pay my taxes, give money to charity, and do volunteer work. I even have a dog. So take your studies and shove them up your ass.
[ Reply | Options ]I guess you've never seen the statistics on men in prison. MOST of them grew up without fathers (go ahead & google it, it's there). And, like another person posted, girls want to marry men like their fathers and many girls end up marrying or chasing old dudes to make up for not having a father. And also, why do you think there are so many single moms of single moms? Get a clue people.
[ Reply | Options ]If this so-called "study" is valid, do you think these men in prison had mothers who were "single by choice"? Single by choice to me means the mom made a well-thought out decision and can provide financially for the child without the assistance of a father. Not thrown into the decision by ignorance about birth control or lack of education.
[ Reply | Options ]There's no excuse for ignorance about birth control. Kids are taught about it in the 5th or 6th grade. But I'll give you that....most of the fatherless men in prison probably did have stupid mothers who couldn't provide financially, BUT children still NEED fathers to be well-rounded individuals, no matter how much money or "things" you can provide for them. And if you're providing these things then chances are that the child is being raised by a nanny, a whole new other topic....
[ Reply | Options ]Plenty of two-parent households where both parents work and need some form of childcare. There are very few households in America who can afford one parent can stay home full-time. I believe children need positive role models and love of all kinds, but it does not have to take the form of a father.
[ Reply | Options ]When both parents have to work full-time then they shouldn't be having kids. No child wants to be raised by a nanny/baby-sitter. They want either their mommy or daddy there for them. Why would you want to miss your child's first words or first steps or first anything? Many people are just interested in material things like living in the biggest house & driving the nicest cars instead of raising their children. Many of these women work because they want to so they can afford luxuries, which is fine, but then don't have any kids if you're not going to raise them.
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Wow yourself. "Neo-con"??? Gimme a break! You're probably one of those who pawns your kid off on a daycare/nanny/baby-sitter from 7am - 6pm & then see him/her for 1/2 hour before they go to bed. How sad. :-( Why would anybody have a child & do that to them?
[ Reply | Options ]NP I just feel sorry for your DCs that they have such a jugmental bitch. I hope you don't have DDs. If you had you probably wouldn't even send her to college, just encourage her to marry a rich guy and never get a job.
[ Reply | Options ]Nope. Wrong on that count. I went to college and my husband went to college. I had a career before I had a child. I worked up until the last week of my pregnancy & delivered a very healthy baby girl. I want her to go to college and get a good job UNTIL she decides to have children (after marriage, of course). She'll learn from me how important it is to be a stay-at-home mom & be there for her when she needs me. This doesn't mean that she'll never have a baby-sitter or go to friends' homes. The only kids I feel sorry for are yours, because I'd bet that you have a nanny who your child runs to instead of you when she's excited, hurt, happy, or sad. p.s. Please learn to spell "judgmental" before you call others that, you dope!
[ Reply | Options ]I am a SAHM and my DD can be whatever she wants to be: SAH, WOH, WAH, etc. Stop spewing this nonsense.
[ Reply | Options ]My daughter can be anything she wants also. But I hope that I can instill values in her to show her that being a parent to your child is more important than having a job. If I do my job right she'll grow into an emotionally stable & confident individual who'll be able to form healthy relationships. She'll learn from her father the way a man should treat a woman and, if she's lucky, she'll find a caring, responsible man to share her life and have children with. :-) It's what everybody hopes for but only some succeed at. I'm going to do my best to make this happen.
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I know, right? Let's string up all the teachers and nurses. Damn women, thinking they could have careers. Such bitches.
[ Reply | Options ]Listen, dumbasses, I never said a woman COULDN'T have a career. If you could comprehend what you read then you'd understand that I said that once people have children then ONE of the parents should be a stay-at-home parent. Most likely, it would be the woman, BUT I have nothing against stay-at-home dads. I think it's very cool if a guy wants to do that! When the children are grown (AFTER their teen years, cause that's the most important time to be a part of their lives) both parents can go back to work & work their asses off if they please.
[ Reply | Options ]Really? You don't think it's important to move in to their dorm rooms? I mean, your beehive might make it crowded, but how much room do you need to iron underwear anyway?
[ Reply | Options ]Now you're just being stupid because I'm calmly and intelligently stating my opinion and backing it up. I believe that once a child is grown and raised decently by a stay-at-home parent then they can go off to college, live in dorms, and have a great life away from their parents. If you raise them right (YOU, not a nanny who'll never care about your kid as much as you do) then you'll have a caring and responsible adult who will make wise choices in life. No, they might not be perfect, but you know that you've done everything in your power to make sure that they can succeed on their own and be independent. p.s. Anybody who thinks that teen-agers in high school DON'T need close parental guidance is a fool & is setting themselves up for a world of heartache.
[ Reply | Options ]OMG, did you even graduate from high school? Seriously, you sound dumb as a rock. Actually, it's like talking to a rock. I think you know EXACTLY what I mean but the only defense you have is to make lame comments. Go back & reread what I said and, hopefully, if you've completed the 2nd grade you'll be understand what I've said. UGH! p.s. No, abstinence is not the way to go, kids should be taught about birth control. And YOU should USE birth control so you don't reproduce anybody as stupid as you.
[ Reply | Options ]First of all, I'm not screaming. Second of all, it's "nannies" not "nanny's". Learn to spell, you imbecile. The only unintelligent freaks around here are the two of you who actually think you're doing your kids justice by depriving them of a father. Being a stay-at-home mom has nothing to do with "depending" on a man, it has to do with being there for your child instead of pawning them off on a nanny or babysitter. I guess you're too stupid to know the difference.
[ Reply | Options ]Okay, I'm laughing my ass off right now at your "studies" about stay-at-home moms....LOLOLOL!!! Can you please post some links to back up YOUR asinine statement? "Oooohhh....stay-at-home-moms are gonna get divorced....they're bad parents, they live in poverty" (big eyeroll). Loooooooser!
[ Reply | Options ]Nobody's proven me wrong. How can you prove an opinion wrong? That's stupid. Are you partially retarded? Seriously (eyeroll). Children know when their father is living in the home or living somewhere else. Little ones pick up on things quickly. And I'm sure that these few fathers on this message board are home on the weekends to interact with their children. Fortunately, I'm lucky enough to have a great husband who comes home by 6pm every night and helps out as much as he can in the evenings and on the weekends. If fathers truly care then they'll be there for their kids & wives. By the way: it's "proven wrong" not "proved wrong". The incorrect usage of the word really makes you sound unintelligent.
[ Reply | Options ]OP here...I don't feel insecure at all because I stay home with my child and know she's well taken care of. I think the only insecure ones are the ones that keep coming back to argue with me. Shouldn't you "working moms" be working instead of on UB all day arguing with somebody & wasting your employer's money? I love how you keep coming back at me with the same thing I said to you. Can't you come up with something a little more intelligent?
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I'm sah (I was fortunate enough to be able to choose) but really by your reasoning children would be best off if both parents stayed home and raised them. So people shouldn't have children unless both parents can sah. People who are not independently wealthy should not have children?
[ Reply | Options ]I think YOU have trouble comprehending as well as the other idiots around here. Where did I say that BOTH parents should stay home (or by my reasoning)? Please go back & read s-l-o-w-l-y....I said that ONE parent should stay home (obviously, most people need to work). It doesn't matter if it's the mom or the dad (but, most likely, it'll be the mom). I have tons of respect for dads who stay at home to care for their children. I think it's awesome & in no way demeaning.
[ Reply | Options ]You think it's important for a DC to have two parents and you think that being a SAHM is the only way for a woman to be an adequate mother. So why wouldn't follow that being a SAHD is the only way for a man to be an adequate father?
[ Reply | Options ]If you read through the posts you'll see that I spoke highly of men who decided to stay at home with their kids instead. I think it's great if the dad decides to be the stay at home parent & the mom goes to work. But in our society, it's ususally not the way it is. As long as one parent is at home parenting then the child is better off. Nobody will care for your child the way that either parent would - NOBODY!
[ Reply | Options ]I think what the OP is saying is that having a parent stay home is better than a baby-sitter. It's unrealistic for anybody to have 2 stay home parents unless they are independantly wealthy which is not the case for most of us. Though I think her opinions are a little bit harsh, I tend to agree with her. Staying at home with your child - father or mother- is the best thing.
[ Reply | Options ]I did not see any screaming except for the people using exclamation points. I can see where the OP is right about the arguing on this board with unintelligent people. i've had quite a few arguments on here myself and some people around here are just really stupid and can't back up theirr arguments so they resort to name calling and attacks.
[ Reply | Options ]If having two parents at home would be better for DC, why do we care about whether it's "realistic" or not? Isn't that the opposite of the point the OP is otherwise making - she thinks only parents that are able to provide the "best" (as she defines" it) should chose to procreate. I'
[ Reply | Options ]i didn't see any where that op posted about 2 parents being at home being the best. she said that one parent at home is better then a baby-sitter or day care provider. you are sounding desperate in your attempt to prove her wrong. you should stop now because it is not helping your arguement. please don't call me a cunt like i see some people here like to do because i am not one, i am just saying what i see going on.
[ Reply | Options ]Hi NP, thanks for seeing what I see: a bunch of whack jobs that are uptight because they don't like what I had to say. LOL! And to the person who says I'm neglecting my child (because you have nothing else to come back with). My child is taking her afternoon nap right now (no, I'm not in the same time zone as you) but please, by all means, go ahead & think what you'd like. And to the silly person just looking like an ass by saying that you think both parents should stay home...(giggle, giggle) I get it....you're funny. Sure, if you're a trust-fund baby then that's great! Otherwise, one parent at home is the next best thing. ;-)
[ Reply | Options ]Sure, it'd be great if both my husband & I could stay home...and we're striving for that (and there's no "suddenly" in that), but you know EXACTLY what I'm saying about being either a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home dad and you're trying to argue with something really stupid. I'll state myself more clearly since you probably didn't graduate from high school & have trouble comprehending: Children should not be left with nannies/babysitters all day long. A mother and/or a father is not a babysitter, they are parents who do the best job of parenting. I'm sorry you don't agree with that and I feel for your child. Actually, I hope you don't have any. :-(
[ Reply | Options ]This is actually my situation right now (I'm on maternity leave, DH is a SAHD) and it's wonderful (even given the demands of having a newborn in the house). One of us can care for DB without our older DC being neglected (and no need for one of those evil nannies/babysistters you despise so much). But clearly it can't go one forever because we need at least one breadwinner. Many families need two breadwinners. It's too bad, IMO, we don't do more to allow both mothers and fathers to balance work and family so more DC can have TWO involved parents (something that you also think is important, no?) and instead spend so much time on this STUPID debate about whether or not mothers should or shouldn't work. Some PARENTS will always work. Let's make it easier for them to both work and be good parents.
[ Reply | Options ]I think it's great that your husband is a SAHD. I never said nannies/babysitters were "evil", I even said that I used one a few days a week for a few hours so I could get things done & have time to myself. What I said is that children shouldn't be left with them all day, everyday to be raised by them. I understand that ONE person has to work, it doesn't matter which one, as long as one parent is there. :-)
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the majority of families in this country can't afford to have one parent stay at home. rather than saying that people shouldn't have kids if they can't afford to have one parent stay at home, which would prevent the majority of Americans from ever having children, i think it would be better on changing family unfriendly work policies and a system in which disparities in wealth are growing ever greater, so that fewer and fewer parents who want to stay home with their kids can. while some people may work in order to afford luxuries, most are just working to get by. i agree that there is something wrong when most moms (or dads) can't stay home for even 6 months with their newborns.
[ Reply | Options ]If you're living in poverty you shouldn't have kids. If you have a husband (or wife) that works then you can make it work on one income. Until you can then you shouldn't have children. Yes, unfortunately our system doesn't allow for people to stay at home for a year like many other countries do. But even a year is not long enough.
[ Reply | Options ]you are living in a dream world. a family with one spouse who works, making the median income ($45,113) for our country, cannot afford to raise a family of four. we're talking median, here. not people living in poverty. the brute economics in our country force both spouses to work in most families.
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OR I could like my job and career. Sorry you have no skills to find yourself something other that cashier.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm sure you'd like to believe that I'm a "cashier" but I'm sorry to have to disappoint you in telling you that I have a college degree plus a post-graduate degree and had a career before having my child. You can believe me or not believe me, doesn't make a difference to me. It's pretty pathetic though when you like your career more than your child. :-(
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Yes, but not everyone is getting all holier-than-thou about how they would stab themselves in the eye before hiring a nanny or WOH and then spending half the day on UB. Seriously---where's the kid all this time? Reading Proust? Vaccuming?
[ Reply | Options ]stabbing in the eye? that's pretty sick and twisted..where did you read that? I read the whole thread and did not see that. I recall seeing a post that said her kid naps in the morning and afternoon.
[ Reply | Options ]I'd stab myself in the eye? Ummm...sorry, but no. You're kinda sick & twisted if ya ask me. :-( It's after 8pm where I am & my child is sleeping (if you must know). This morning she was playing next to me & then took her morning nap when I was on. And the only other time I was on today was during her afternoon nap. Tell me what YOU'RE doing on UB all day since you're such an honorable working mom (eyeroll)...wasting your employer's money by NOT working & trolling the internet? I hope your sorry ass gets canned!
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np ITTTTTTTA. I grew up with no father in my home (no relationship, either). So did my mother. My mother married a loser (my father, who was like her father), and I made a conscious decision not to do that. I dated some real duds, though. My sister ended up with someone just like our father and is now a struggling single mom.
[ Reply | Options ]jeeze louise--are we talking about MC single parents by choice or are we talking about 16yo single moms from the inner city. Take your pick, but please let's not confuse the two. Resources are important, age is important, an actual sense of "choice" rather than an impoverished teenager's sense that having a baby in HS is the only sensible thing to do...sorry, but are we talking about Murphy Brown here or inner city teens?
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We really don't want to deal with men (dh's) and we think the kid will be fine (hopefully).
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They are too "high maintenance". Many have their *lists* of attributes that they want in a man. I know many women for which no man will ever measure up, so the women stay single and say there are no "good men" out there. (Yet they're not this huge great catch, but they don't see it that way.)
[ Reply | Options ]LOL! Yeah, my SIL is over 40, quite unattractive & a little overweight and whenever she finally gets a man interested in her (big challenge) she ends up dumping them.
[ Reply | Options ]I've gotta say, as a divorced 41yo mom, reading UB every day is enough to put me off marriage completely. Would I like to be happily in love? Yes. Would I like to be married to a workaholic/depressed/porn-addicted/cheating/never-helps-out/complaining idiot like the DHs you rad about here? No thank you.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm sorry, but I didn't see anybody saying anything positive about "workaholic/depressed/porn-addicted/cheating/never-helps-out/complaining idiot" husbands. But let me ask you something, did he just all of a sudden turn this way AFTER you had kids? I'm sure you saw the red flags BEFORE you married and/or had children with him. You should've thought about his before you brought a child into the world with a man like that. Bad choice.
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Many say they'll get "male influence" in the dc's life--like male friends, uncles, etc., but it so contrived and isn't the same as having an actual father on a daily basis.
[ Reply | Options ]I totally agree. The best thing these single moms could do is move back in with their parents & have grandpa be the male role model.
[ Reply | Options ]Why should the parents be saddled with the daughter living back at home--with a KID, too? Aren't their parenting duties ever over with? They don't owe her and her kid anything.
[ Reply | Options ]Of course moving back with the grandparents should be something that the grandparents agree to and want. You're right, I don't feel that the GPs should be saddled with the kid if they don't want to. This is why IF the mom's going to be selfish & have a child without a father then she should talk to her parents about it and make sure that grandpa is willing to be "the" male role model and they want her & the kid living with them.
[ Reply | Options ]But you know the mom (grandmother) is going to get stuck making all the food, cleaning, doing laundry, shopping for said daughter and kid. So not fair. The g-parents I know that have the mom/daughter slop back home don't want them there. They want their freedom. Why should their daughter's choice to not have a man ruin their lives?
[ Reply | Options ]You're STILL not listening....what I said is ONLY if the GPs agree to it (that means both of them). Lots of grandparents would love having their kids & grandkids living with them. Some grannys are bored & wouldn't mind cooking & cleaning again for a family. BUT if the GPs don't agree to this then the mom shouldn't be having a kid without grandpa as a role model. That's what I'm saying.
[ Reply | Options ]I hear what you're saying--I'm not stoopid. I was sharing, not specifically talking to you.
[ Reply | Options ]This whack job is getting more and more shrill. She'll starting screaming about women not breast-feeding their 9 years in 10...9...8....
[ Reply | Options ]Shrill? The only one "shrilling" here is you. Sorry to disappoint you here once more but I think breast feeding past the age of one is gross. If some people choose to breast feed their toddlers then that's their choice, I don't give a damn, but I would never do it. Anything else moronic that you'd like to add?
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Thanks. Coming from a freak like you I'll take that as a compliment. Sore loser, are ya? Poor thing. I sure hope with that potty mouth you don't have any children. But, woe is you, I'd bet you're single mom whose baby daddy ran out on her cause you're too stupid to put up with. :-(
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If "grandpa" was the "role model" they had that in your opinion drove them to single motherhood, then why on earth would this "role model" work any better for their dcs?
[ Reply | Options ]Having a stay-at-home dad doesn't "drive" somebody to single motherhood (that's just dumb & grasping at straws). Single motherhood usually happens because a woman can't find a husband but she still wants a child or the woman being stupid about birth control & getting knocked up...both leading to fatherless children.
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so are kids with married one. No reason to just get married and be miserable to have a child. HOw bout we all get married and then divorced just to have this child? Is that okay for you? Leave single moms alone. Sancti married mom
[ Reply | Options ]why do you women that insist on getting divorced think it's fair to deprive your child of a fulltime father? If you are going to break up your home then you shouldn't have kids.
[ Reply | Options ]Yup, that's true. If you have kids then you shouldn't get divorced unless you're in a situation of addiction, abuse, or adultery. If you just can't "get along" then work it out for the child's sake. Don't be so selfish & pull this "me, me, me" crap. Learn to get along & be nice to each other until the child is grown up. That's why kids are so fucked up these days, selfish, ignorant parents.
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I don't think that is true at all. The studies that show fatherless kids are disadvantaged are almost all of low-income women who became pregnant as teenagers or when very young. If you looked at high-income, well educated women who became pregnant on purpose, i suspect you would not find the same disadvantage.
[ Reply | Options ]agree (i'm an epidemiologist). the groups that are often compared in the type of studies cited are different in so many ways... not just the absence of fathers. families with 2 parents are typically much better off financially, which is great for kids in terms of material resources. and having a partner who is also invested in parenting is a godsend. but i don't see how how beating up people who consciously choose alternative types of family helps anyone, OP.
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I guess President Obama is an example of the kind of screwed up child of a single mom parent. Dad left when he was 2, saw him ONCE when he was about 10 yrs old for a month. That's it.
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Yup. She'll start shrieking he's a disaster being that she personally knows every child who has grown up without a father. Did Faux Newz go of the air or something? Next she'll start on Negras, Joos, and "the gay".
[ Reply | Options ]Obama, who I don't really care for but respect because he's our President, is an exception to the rule. Are you people stupid or something? Seriously? Do you realize that nobody said that 100% of kids from single moms are screwed up? Just a big percentage of them. Good gawd, did you people pass the 8th grade?
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Not to mention, Michelle worked, so I guess First Daughters are destined for a life of hooliganism.
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Okay, 2 out of how many million? Seriously, you people sound like 5th grade retards.
[ Reply | Options ]Okay, now I know we're engaging a paid cnet troll. The whole inciteful, ignollectual tone of the OPs post and replies is just too obviously meant to generate activity, in an attempt to attract advertiser $$. This site is burnt.
[ Reply | Options ]Money? You can actually make money by posting here? I'd like to know how because that can be a second income for my family. I'm sorry to tell you that everything I've posted is what I believe. How sad for you to think that just because an opinion doesn't agree with yours then it's fake. Sheesh.
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Single, never married, mom here. It wasn't done "purposely". Do you really think we all "insist" "on purpose" and wouldn't rather be in relationships? You seem rather cruel to me, actually.
[ Reply | Options ]If it was an accident & you don't believe in abortion then you should've given your baby up for adoption to a two-parent family who couldn't have children and want them. That's what a real non-selfish person would do.
[ Reply | Options ]Same poster. As an adoptee myself who was abused by a relative in my adoptive family and who has witnessed the break up of adoptive couples, I disagree with you. There is no one better than a child's bio mother to protect him if she is able.
[ Reply | Options ]Well, you're an exception to the norm. MOST kids who are adopted aren't abused, they're loved just like they were the couple's own. I'm sorry that happened to you, but every person I know who was adopted was very well taken care of and loved. Plus, it wasn't YOUR adoptive mom or dad who abused you, it was a relative. Who's to say that your bio mom's relative wouldn't have abused you??? That's a bad comparison. How many times do you hear about the "creepy uncle" that molested the child? Plenty. And what about bio moms who are unfit, ie: drug users, alcoholics, mentally ill? Bottom line: in MOST cases, 2 parents (whether bio or adoptive) are better than one.
[ Reply | Options ]Well, the "creepy uncle" mentioned how it was cause I was "adopted" that he could do what he did, so if you'll excuse me for wanting to raise and protect my own son I'll thank you for it. You are using your own anecdotal experience to talk about adoptees MANY adoptees are happy but feel a hole in their lives wondering where they came from and also whether and MANY do not talk about it so as to protect their adoptive parents to whom they are grateful and most sincerely do love. And I know this from reading every piece of literature available in the field and seeing a therapist who specializes in the subject. So thanks for allowing me to keep me son seeing as I am not a druggie, unfit or mentally ill. I am just a woman who chose NOT TO abort.
[ Reply | Options ]Sorry .. and also whether there is some medical issue they do not know about. The state of New York closes adoption records and adoptees cannot know about their medical history or see their own birth certificates. We are citizens in this so-called "free country" whose basic civil rights are violated at birth.
[ Reply | Options ]Ummm....and you're NOT using your own anecdotal experience???!!! LOL! (BIG eyeroll). The fact that you have to see a "therapist" tells me that your son would've been better off in a 2-parent adoptive family. I truly feel sorry for you son because he doesn't have a father. Good luck keeping him on the right track, and I sincerely mean that.
[ Reply | Options ]Oh, so now you don't approve of people who are proactive about their mental health, either? Do you think the field of psychology is a sham? I think I know more about the subject of adoption than you, having 1) personal experience; 2) being a part of a community of adoptive families growing up through my church; and 3) havong read several cannonical works on the subject. You say you worked with children, so you should know these, but most likely have your BA in early childhood education from the Human Services division of come mediocre state U. But, then your real pursuit was Delta Delta Gamma something and the "MRS" degree.
[ Reply | Options ]Nope, sorry, I don't have a degree in early childhood but I was a pre-school teacher when I was in college and I saw how fucked up kids who were left in daycare all day were. I have a degree in psychology (as a matter of fact) from UC San Diego. Did you even go to college? Highly doubtful. Are you jealous of people that did & experienced the full university life while you got knocked up & left by your baby daddy? Like I said, adoption for your son would've been much better. I'm going to bed now because I need my rest so I can care for my daughter tomorrow. Have a nice night.
[ Reply | Options ]you are one sick lady. i hope that you never go back to work... i can't imagine you practicing psychology.
[ Reply | Options ]I said I had a degree in psychology. I don't practice psychology, I have a post-graduate degree in something else that was my field of work. It's pathetic that you think a person who believes that staying at home with your child is "sick". That's why so many kids & adults are screwed up these days...people who think like you. :-(
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My son HAS a father you asshole. A father that bailed. My point was I did not "insist" on purposefully" doing anything. Life happens, and obviously nothing "off script" ever came your way or you wouldn't be such a sanctimonious BIATCH!
[ Reply | Options ]If your baby daddy left when you were pregnant then you should've given the child up for adoption. If you were never married to the guy then you should've used proper birth control so you didn't get pregnant like a dumb-ass. Good night. It's tiring talking to stupid people like you. :-(
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Every (numerous) positive example is labeled as an exception by this cnet troll. Please, let's boycott the feedings.
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Wow, you can't handle anybody else's opinion. How sad. That's the true loon. :-(
[ Reply | Options ]No, we just have a problem with someone's aggressive, unsolicited, mean-spirited opinion on a very personal subject that they apparently know nothing about.
[ Reply | Options ]This is a message board. I can write whatever I please. Nobody is forcing you to keep reading it or commenting. You obviously like the conflict or else you wouldn't be here. Just because you don't like my opinion doesn't make it "mean". I saw plenty of mean things said around here to SAHM moms, but, because you agree with that, you think it's okay. Hypocrite.
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Why is this hateful? From what I can tell, these people who are arguing that working moms are better than stay-at-home moms are saying that children are better off if their mom goes off to work everyday & leaves them with a babysitter/nanny. Can I please see the links to the studies done on non-school-age children that think it's great that mommy goes to work everyday instead of spends the day with them. And the link to school-age children that states they love being picked up from school or taken care of after school by a nanny instead of by mom. Oh, and how about the ones that state kids love it when their mom CAN'T be in the PTA or go along on field trips or come to school functions. (eyeroll)
[ Reply | Options ]Please find me the post that starts off claiming that SAHMs "shouldn't have kids" or if they "become" SAHMS then they should give their kids up for adoption. Arguing that something parenting-related--breast or bottle, SAH or WOH--is better or worse is par for the course--telling someone who has a child that they shouldn't have had that child or that they don't deserve to raise that child is IMHO sick. And hateful.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm sorry you don't know how to read. :-( Nobody said SAHMs shouldn't have kids, it was stated that children of working moms are better off. You can read through the thread & find it yourself. If you think that stating my opinion is sick or hateful then please discontinue reading.
[ Reply | Options ]No, the "shouldn't have kids" thing was reserved for single and/or divorced moms. Exactly my point.
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Do you need a f*ckng Venn diagram? Read the thread. OP insists several times, including in original post that moms without a "live-in father" "shouldn't have kids" and later says that single moms should give their kids up for adoption so they can be raised in two-parent households. My point being--no one else is going around posting that SAHMs or people who have made different parenting choices should not be parents or have their kids removed. Do you get it now? Jeeze...
[ Reply | Options ]What I said, Dummy, is that single mothers should be having babies if they don't have a live-in father. I also said that if women get pregnant & the guy won't marry them and they don't believe in abortion then they should give the child up for adoption to be raised by a 2 parent household. I never said anything about kids being "removed". You don't know how to read. I said if a woman is pregnant then she should give the child up for adoption when it is born. Please tell me why you think it's okay to purposefully deprive a child of a father. You see, NP, these people resort to using the "f" word & calling others names when sorely losing an argument. It's really sad, isn't it? :-(
[ Reply | Options ]i think she is winning this arguement because she has clearly stated her thoughts w/out calling viscious names like cunt and provided links to her arguement. that is a true debater whether we agree with it or not. many of the reponses to her have been irational and completely oposite of what she said. jmho.
[ Reply | Options ]I agree that the c word is foul, and yet I have not used it once. OP on the other hand feels free to name call and make free-wheeling personal attacks, while hypocritically disparaging the name-calling. Not to mention, calling someone a "retard" is ugly and classless. Not surprised that OP tosses it around like confetti.
[ Reply | Options ]i just gotta chime in here since i'm enjoying reading this thread so much and laughing out loud..if you read from the top down you'll see that the op was not the one to start the name calling. she was called a cunt by somebody who asked her to post links, then she did..something the other posters haven't done yet. after that was when she used the retard word. just sayin......to be fair and all..
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There's been a quite a bit of research, actually. If you intend to continue to rant on this issue, maybe you should actually look at it. Although I'm not sure how meaningful it would be to you, since you're clearly all about black vs. white and what the research has shown is MANY variables influence how DC turn out - most of them unrelated to whether or not the mother works (i.e. life is all about shades of gray). But, really, "studies" are all about averages and they're fairly meaningless in terms of determining whether any individual choice is "better" or "worse" than another - nothing is ever going to be best for 100% of people 100% of the time - even in the unlikely event that someday we "prove" that 99.9% of children are better off with a SAHM vs. a WOHM, in a two-parent home vs. with a single mom, any given child could still be part of that other .1%
[ Reply | Options ]I've provided links to my argument. Now, please provide links to yours. You state that there's been "quite a bit of research, actually" so please show me where it states that it's better to be a working mom than a SAHM. I'm giggling a little and waiting to see a report on how kids hate it that their parents are at home instead of going off to work. I'd like to see in quotes, "Wahhh!!! Mommy, please leaev and go to work instead of stay at home and play with me!" LOLOLOLOL!!!
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It's obvious by the idiocy that they are posting. Clearly they either haven't read through the posts or don't know how to comprehend. Sad, really.
[ Reply | Options ]Sort of like how you either didn't bother to read through my post or don't know how to comprehend it?
[ Reply | Options ]I've responded to everything you said. Now you're just grasping at...pretty much nothing because you have nothing left except a stupid response like that...which proves my point. Okay, you hvae a nice day now. I'm off to spend time with my daughter. Maybe you should spend time with your child too. :-(
[ Reply | Options ]LOL, you responded to absolutely NOTHING I said. I wrote about multiple variables and shades of gray vs. black and white and the limitations of empirical research as a tool for personal decision-making. From you, I get a mocking response telling me to "prove" that working was "better" than staying at home. But whatever, I'm back to work (and my DC are spending time with their FATHER - presumably that's OK with you?)
[ Reply | Options ]Did you post this, 'There's been a quite a bit of research, actually. If you intend to continue to rant on this issue, maybe you should actually look at it. Although I'm not sure how meaningful it would be to you, since you're clearly all about black vs. white and what the research has shown is MANY variables influence how DC turn out - most of them unrelated to whether or not the mother works' if you did then you are posting something that you say are facts, since you say there was research done. you were asked to provide proof (or links) to your facts and you did not do so. I'm not taking sides but I see where you stated something and can't back it up.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, I did post that and the OP responded that I needed to prove that it was "better to be working mom than a SAHM". Um, I never SAID that it was. Actually, my whole point was just the opposite - no one will ever be able to determine (either statistically or on a case-by-case basis) that either is "better".
[ Reply | Options ]you stated that there's been research done. so where is this research. you are back tracking now and very pathetically, i might say so. just stop, you're making a fool or yourself. i can't wait to see what the op posts to you, this is better than any soap opera. you are all getting ripped apart.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, please....the link I want to see is the one stating that CHILDREN ARE BETTER OFF WITH A NANNY/BABYSITTER THAN WITH EITHER THEIR MOTHER OR FATHER STAYING AT HOME WITH THEM. I capitalized it for you to make it easier to read. If you actually had these links you would've posted them by now.
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single mom here:0dc grduated ivy league sum cum laude; generalizations cannot be made
[ Reply | Options ]Nobody said you can't graduate from an ivy league school and be a single mom. That's not the issue here. The issue is that your child doesn't have a father and needs one. I sure hope you didn't chose to deprive a child of a father.
[ Reply | Options ]She said her CHILD graduated from a ivy league college despite being "deprived of a father".
[ Reply | Options ]Oh sorry, I wasn't sure what "Odc" was so I thought SHE was the one who graduated. That's nice for her. Like I said, there are exceptions to the norm.
[ Reply | Options ]Well, I'm off to spend time with my daughter. You guys can stay here & continue to bash my opinions if you'd like. I'll be back later to shoot down everything you say. Buh-byyyeee..... :-)
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Oh, I'm sorry...is my child not allowed to play next to me or nap? This morning she was playing next to me and in between giggling at the stupid people here (who are at work and wasting their boss' money by being on UB) I played with her. Then she was down for her morning nap. Now she's taking her pm nap (yes, I'm in a different time zone than you). Is that allowed? Gee, soooo sorry if it's not (big eyeroll). At least I don't pawn her off on daycare all day.
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This is the craziest thing I have ever read on here, and I've been here for a long time.
[ Reply | Options ]I think everybody is overreacting and getting worked up over nothing. what the op is saying is that children are better off with fathers than without, i tend to agree. she also stated that kids are better off with a parent at home taking care of them instead of putting them into day care or hiring a baby-sitter. i must say that i agree with tthis also. does that make me a cunt also? i have read through the posts and the op is making a very reasonable arguement. i can see where others would get defensive and anoyed by this but it doesn't make her wrong.
[ Reply | Options ]Its a good example of why anonymous boards can suck. Can you imagine if she was outed and her friends knew of her obnoxious opinions? Seriously.
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saying you can't be a single mom and raise a great kids is a fallacy, but also implying that a father is somehow insignificant or unnecessary is ridiculous. children don't just need a father figure, they also learn about adult (loving) relationships by watching their father and mother interact. if that relationship is a good one, of course.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm a SAHM with a devoted DH and two wonderful DD's. I come from a close-knit family and have an amazing father. My parents have been married for 44 years. While I agree that ideally all kids should grow up in a happy home with a wonderful father around, we all know that it doesn't always work out that way. It is often not the mother's fault, and it is certainly not the child's fault. To the OP: I find your self-righteous tone and your appalling use of language ("dumbass", "retarded", etc.) to negate any valid points that you might be trying to make. Did you ever stop to think what kind of example you're setting for your DD with such base name-calling? Honestly, for the single moms on this board who might find themselves in a similar situation to their mother's and who might not have had a father around when they were growing up, your remarks are cruel. And then to punctuate them with smiley-faces at the end is really twisted. Don't think that just because this is an anonymous board your DD doesn't pick up on your hateful vibe.
[ Reply | Options ]I couldn't give a rat's ass how self-righteous you find my tone...do you really think I care what you think? Seriously...LOL!!! Do you also think that my one year old child is standing behind me reading what I write? Idiot....yeah, I said it. After being called a cunt I think I'll use whatever words that I feel like using. I don't see you bashing the person that called me that. I know exactly what kind of an example I'll be setting for my daughter and it's a good one. I'll show her how to have a career, be independent, AND instill family values in her. Obviously you didn't read all of this thread or else you wouldn't be putting your foot in your mouth right now, dumbass.
[ Reply | Options ]Well, yeah, I thought she might be able to read what you're writing on the computer since you are such an amazing mom and are teaching her so well. Seriously...LOL!!! :-) In all seriousness, I am going to go bed now and will say a prayer for both you and your DD, even though I don't know you. Good night!
[ Reply | Options ]Do you realize how ignorant you sound by resorting to profanity and insults to bolster an argument? Did you know that your poor use of grammar indicates that you are not very well-educated? It's humorous.
[ Reply | Options ]I sure hope you're not talking to me (the OP). If you are then I'm sure you think it's perfectly okay that somebody called me a cunt at the beginning of this thread. When that word is used then all bets are off, I'll use whatever words I please. The only humorous thing is you calling my grammar "poor." LOLOLOL!!! Why don't you read through this thread & see who the real uneducated idiots really are. Moron.
[ Reply | Options ]Of course I was talking to you, OP. Of course it is not all right for someone to call you the c-word. It is crass, just as it is crass for you to respond with profane language. It really deters from the argument. I don't think your HS English teacher would approve of your use of the word "that" throughout this thread. Go get a copy of Strunk and White to see WHO the moron is. Please, chew on THAT!
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All these replies from people defending their positions, or as it seems, their lifestyle choice, makes me wonder about the choices the child(ren) of single mothers make. For those in the middle class that I know, all have chosen the marriage route; they seem to want to give their progeny stability, maybe something they felt was missing in their life? Admittedly it's biased, these are all women. This post is kind of like the posts about granny moms. People get upset, defend, go on offense but nobody thinks to consider it from a child's perspective.
[ Reply | Options ]What makes you think that none of us considered the child's perspective? Do you really think that single moms or divorced parents love their children less than you do? Or are you really on board with OP that it's just "selfishness" and the really noble thing for these moms to do would be to give up their children?
[ Reply | Options ]Awww...boo hoo, did somebody agree with me? Is that making you mad? LOL! Nobody said single moms love their children "less". If you knew how to read then you'd see that what's being said is that children NEED and, most likely, WANT a father in the home. If you "love" your child so much then you wouldn't deprive them of that. And I'll stand by that 100%...that if you're knocked up outta wedlock and don't believe in abortion then you should give your child to a 2-parent household if you can't move back in with your parents & have the grandpa be a father figure. There are many people out there who can't have children & would make great parents. I also firmly believe that if you get married & take on the responsibility of having a child then you should stick together for BETTER OR WORSE (like your vows said) and make it work for the child's sake. People these days are too selfish & only think of themselves & their needs instead of what's best for the child.
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What's really interesting to me about this post is despite all the OP's so-called concern about DC having fathers she doesn't mention her DD's father one single time. I guess she thinks the fact that he exists (apparently) and provides a paycheck (presumably, since she's such an uber-SAHM) is enough to prevent her DD from being "screwed up for the rest of her life".
[ Reply | Options ]Ummm....either you didn't read through the entire thread and are just inserting your fat foot into your mouth or else you don't know how to comprehend. I clearly stated in an earlier post that my husband worked and was home in the early evening & helps out tremendously with our daughter. He's also home on the weekends to spend time with us. Why don't you actually READ instead of come here & talk smack? Idiot. I could tell you more about my husband if you'd like but if I did then you'd either accuse me of lying (eyeroll) or say that I'm bragging. Jealous much?
[ Reply | Options ]In case I missed some parts of your rant, OP, what would happen if your DH dropped dead tomorrow leaving you as a single mom with a daughter in a fatherless household? Or, God forbid, what if your DH figured out what a lunatic you are by reading your posts and decided to leave you for a sweeter lady one day? I'm sure you are 100% confident the neither of these things will happen, since you deem yourself all-knowing. But, yikes, if I were you I'd be a little nervous about throwing stones lest you end up living in a glass house. Before you start thinking the rest of us are jealous of you, rest assured, many of us here have the same HH setup that you do. Just for kicks, tell us about your father and mother so that we can understand where your intolerance comes from. This is pathetic yet entertaining!
[ Reply | Options ]Yawn....if you must know my parents have been married for 42 years. Why do you care? You're just going to say that I'm lying or else make some other stupid comment regarding the issue. I guess you did miss some part of my postings (I'd hardly call them rants. The "rants" are coming from angry clowns like you) because I stated that I have a college degree and a post graduate degree and had a career before having a child. I could go back to work if I pleased. But my husband has a life insurance policy big enough so that my child and I wouldn't have to worry about money for quite a few years (probably until she graduates from high school) if he were to pass away. Since I feel that my child would still need a positive male role model then I would move back in with my parents and have my dad be her father figure. My parents are very caring & understanding people and would take us in anytime. And no, I would not expect my mother to cook & clean for us. Do you have any other questions? It's funny how you think that my opinions on single parenthood & SAHMs make me intolerant. I think the bozos that can't handle my opinion (most likely because they can't handle the fact that they're not doing the best thing for their child) are the intolerable ones. Sad...truly sad. :-(
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Have you actually read any of these "studies," or do you just assume they must support your own lifestyle choices? You might want to read studies about all the screwed up children raised by: a) parents in bad marriages/relationships; b) parents who split up during the child's growing up years; c) married parents who abuse them, do drugs or alcohol or are just plain bad parents. The majority of children in this country now live in a home with one parent. Not because of women who "insist on purposely being single moms," but rather because of parents who split up before or after the children's birth, haven't planned their pregnancies at all, etc. You sound like someone looking to blame people whose choices are threatening to you. I would imagine your
[ Reply | Options ]People who split up and/or haven't planned their pregnancies are "threatening" to me? Did you just seriously write that? LOL! Read through your post before you hit the send button because you sound like a total moron. The fact that you're arguing that kids from single parent homes are better off than kids from 2-parent families because some might get abused is laughable. I guess you don't know that the majority of abused kids are from mothers who gave birth outta wedlock. Hey, here's a concept: how about PLANNING pregnancies instead of being a dumb-ass who gets knocked up accidentally. DUH!
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Lady, why don't you just go get some help and stop judging others. Clearly there is something wrong with you.
[ Reply | Options ]Why are you so moralistic? I mean I wouldn't have had kids on my own as I felt that I wanted to give my children a mother and a father and a great parental relationship -- yet I would never presume to judge the choices of others. I find it sufficient to decide for myself and let others live as they choose. Let go of the judgement!
[ Reply | Options ]It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. My OPINION is that choosing to have a baby without a father is selfish and not good for the child. And since when is it wrong to be moralistic? We wouldn't have so many screwed up people in the world if more parents had morals. But hey, at least you didn't come here & call me names like the other kooks around here. I respect you and your opinion for that. And kudos to you for the choices you've made for your family. :-)
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I HOPE YOU REALIZE THAT THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS IS NOT REALLY A HAPPILY MARRIED MOM AT ALL. THIS SAME POST HAS APPEARED AT THE SAME TIME ON A NUMBER OF MOMMY BLOGS AND WAS FEATURED ON http://popurls.com/ FROM ANOTHER BLOG. THE BIOGRAPHICAL DETAILS ARE DIFFERENT BUT THE RANT AND INSULTS ARE BASICALLY THE SAME. IT IS PROBABLY A RIGHT WING MAN WHO IS NEVER AT HOME WITH HIS KIDS BECAUSE HE SPEDS SO MUCH TIME TROLLING THE MOMMYBLOGS-
[ Reply | Options ]THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS ALSO POSTED SIMILAR RANTS ON A NUMBER OF OTHER BLOGS. THEY ALL CONTAIN A SIMILAR INFLAMATORY MESSAGES, BUT THE BIOGRAPHICAL DETAILS IN THEIR RESPONSES ARE SLIGHTLY DIFFERNET. THER POSTS HAVE BEEN HIGHLIGHTED ON WWW.POPURLS.COM. I'M SURE THE POSTER ISN'T A MOTHER AT ALL, BUT JUST ANOTHER NEGATIVE RIGHT WING WACKO WHO HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN INSULT PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET. IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS, YOU SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME INTERACTING WITH THEM AND LESS TIME ON THE INTERNET STIRRING UP TROUBLE.
[ Reply | Options ]No, asshole, this post was absolutely real and the fact that you keep bumping it to the top makes everybody see how insecure you are about it. You are probably one of those moms that throws your kid into some lousy daycare from 7am to 8pm so you can drive a Bentley. If there was a similar post it's because there are other people that feel this way also (real parents who actually SHOULD have kids). You can go on with your rant in your angry capital letters with your lunacy about me posting on other boards (absolutely not true). I'm sure it helps you sleep better at night. Go take care of your kid, you imbecile. Or maybe go fuck your husband is you have one. Doubtful though, I'd bet you got knocked up outta wedlock which is another reason why what I have to say pisses you off.
[ Reply | Options ]p.s. First this post is fake & I'm not married without a child & then you tell me to go spend more time with my child? You're a fucking nut-job who should be sterilized. I'm on this board when my child is sleeping or spending time with her father. You know...one of those things that YOU probably never had! ICK!
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Ignorance is alive and well here! My friend is married with a 1 year old. She and her husbnad fight like carts and dogs, he works late, travels constantly and the few minutes the kid seems him, he is yelling at his mother...so that's a better scenario than a loving woman who can provide a loving and peaceful environment while uncles, brothers, grandfather and male friends provide a presence and guiding hand?
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