UrbanBaby Asks...
Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
- I really don't enjoy it at all, and wish I could spend less time with them
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Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)
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I want to hear stories about girls who were/are the youngest in their class. Tell me all the reasons it really is wonderful and not going to damage you socially for life.
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I have two perspectives on this - mine & my dd since we both have b'day the first wk of Sept. When I switched from my hohum public school to a top notch private boarding school, I repeated a grade. It was the only way I could have survived academically (they were doing stuff that was 3 yrs ahead of my old school) but I didn't pay any price socially since I was now at the :right" age as my peers. So I had an option I might not have had if I was older. My dd has always been the youngest, she got accepted by Hunter in 7th grade and is now in the 10th (still among the youngest). She is thriving both academically or socially. I also think she will take a gap yr bet. HS graduation and starting college since she has this "extra" year to play with. So, from my experience, it has given both of us extra options.
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mine is one of the youngest. works out fine - of course i don't buy into all this "social life" nonsense - she has friends.
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Sorry, but dd is oldest and is way, way, way better off socially than the youngest.
[ Reply | More ]I was one of the youngest (December birthday). It all evens out once you're 25 and it's better to be young. :-)
[ Reply | More ]Well, the youngest girl in my class was smart and beautiful and nice and being the youngest had no ill effect that I could see (her parents actually enrolled her a year early, she was a January baby and they felt she was ready, which she more than was). I was the oldest and we were friends. IMO the girls who came across as "babyish" (ie, cutesy, sensitive, etc) were not necessarily the youngest and often rewarded for that anyway.
[ Reply | More ]I was the youngest, did great academically, had hard time socially in middle school and beginning of HS. My mom used to wonder if things would have been easier socially for me if I started a year later.
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It shocks me, but both my dc are the youngest in their class - one has June bday, one April. This is NYC private and it totally made me realize how prevalent redshirting has gotten. I'm a huge fan of getting them into school asap, assuming no obvious developmental delays. Think about your whole life, hs, college, grad school, etc being done a year earlier. So worth it imo.
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what an odd comment. i suppose someone could say the opposite if you holdback, "i guess it's worth it if you want to infantilize your chidren as long as possible." how about just doing what you think your dc is ready for?
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that was a horrible experience for me - youngest in my class and then skipped a year so was 2 yrs younger when I started college. I never fit in and was miserable
[ Reply | More ]NP: I posted above also, but I too was youngest and skipped a grade. Still ending up being valedictorian, going to HYP, having lots of friends, no social difficulties beyond the normal junior high stuff. I think the message here is that it can go either way so it's a personal decision. No reason to think sending your dc, especially if they meet the posted age cutoff, will be a problem. As someone said below, there will be kids only a month or two older.
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I have a May birthday and was a full year young for my grade. It was no problem academically, and I would say only tough socially in middle school, when I was still more a little girl than some of my friends who were interested in boys, drinking, etc. before I was. I caught up and was pretty social and happy by the middle of high school. I would think now there's less variation in age and your dd won't be alone, since the schools have gotten strict about age cut offs. Even if she's the youngest, there will be another child only a month or two older than she is, right?
[ Reply | More ]I went ahead a grade and was by far the youngest but still academically far ahead. Social life was an issue for sure, until late hs and college, but that might have been inevitable. I would have been even more bored and even more of a smart freak a year later, which would have cancelled out any improvement due to being closer in age. You have to think about that, too, in your calculations, if you have a smart kid. Sometimes it's the lesser of two evils.
[ Reply | More ]I was one of the youngest and to be perfectly honest I was always among the brightest in my class (top 1-3). (I am not gifted, just bright and capable.) My "youngness" never occured to me, nor was it ever made an issue. My DD is now always the oldest in her class and incredibly reserved and shy. Worry about temperment, not age.
[ Reply | More ]I was the youngest in my grade (January birthday, skipped K)and I never noticed anything about it socially, other than getting my drivers license later than everyone else! Academically I was more than fine, I always had friends and a great social life (aside from a pretty awkward period in middle school, but I think that is par for the course with everyone!) I don't see the point of holding a kid back if they are bright enough to do the work, they will just end up bored.
[ Reply | More ]DD is a december b-day in NY, so she's almost always one of if not the youngest in her class. Academically, she's a year ahead, maturity wise she's a year behind everyone else. I'm not sure which contributes more to her social problems, but she does not have a lot of friends. Of course, it may just be that she's a loner type and prefers hanging out with her books.
[ Reply | More ]i was the youngest in my class and it SUCKED, especially when i got into late middle/school and high school. not academically, but socially...everyone got to do things like drive and date before i did, pressure from the boys was difficult to deal with...not because i was that special but because i was the youngest and somehow that's something to go after...etc etc.
[ Reply | More ]It's not going to make a difference. I have a 14yo DD who has always been the youngest or second youngest and it hasn't affected her at all. Calendar age isn't important--emotional maturity, social skills do but from what I've seen, this is completely separate. One of her most sexually precocious friends is even younger than she is and some of the oldest ones are the dorkiest, least-ready-for-adolescence ones--not that I'm knocking that!
[ Reply | More ]just my 2 cents...i grew up traveling, quite mature for my age, excellent academics and gregarious. i wasn't sexually precocious, but the harassment was intense for someone younger to deal with and not being able to do what my older friends were doing was a pain. kudos to your dd but the jury's not out until she's at least completed a couple of years of college. it's hard to get perspective on this until then.
[ Reply | More ]I really do think it's an individual thing. DD is very young but also very tall (for most of elementary school she was the tallest AND the youngest) and she probably took more grief for being tall. I on the other hand was average age/height but really slow to mature, not into boys, makeup, pop music, etc. and I definitely suffered. Sometimes I feel as if there's always something that kids will pick on...sigh.
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I find this red-shirting so odd. I have a november birthday and when i was growing up, everyone born in a particular year was almost always in the same grade. I was always the youngest, or close to it in my grade (public and private) and I thrived. It's certainly NOT something the kids ever thought about, so I don't know why the parent are obsessed with it. the only negative i can think of was that i got my driver's license later than most of my friends due to my late birthday. I think the sept 1 cut-off for private schools is arbitrary and stupid. it should be december 31st for all schools, public and private.
[ Reply | More ]I was one of youngest in class and never thought anything about it, nor do I think it impacted my social life (but this was way back when 5 year olds didn't have a social life anyway). Do remember being somewhat self conscious in gym class b/c behind the curve(s) a bit, but actually liked not being able to drive b/c I always got picked up by friends.
[ Reply | More ]I was the youngest in my class growing up with a late december bday and i hated it. I always got teased for being younger, even though i was one of the smartest kids in the class and fit in socially. It was worse when everyone got their driver's license a year before me and turned 21 in college and i was left stuck at home by myself. When you are older, of course it is better to be younger when all of your friends are turning 30, 40 etc and you are still 29 or 39.
[ Reply | More ]Maybe things have changed, but three of my best friends are December birthdays (late, as in Christmas babies.) All three are very happy (happily married, or in solid relationships) and successful adults and went to top schools and grad schools (Harvard, Wellesley, Columbia, Yale, etc.) None ever expressed resentment due to be being youngest in class. I kind of feel like they get an extra year of life because they finished school a year younger than I did. Lol.
[ Reply | More ]I skipped twice in school- I skipped the 4th grade and the 8th grade. I graduated HS 2 weeks after my 16th birthday. I always did very well academically. Socially, I was fine and always very happy, but never felt as "cool" as some of the other perfectly put together girls, but that could happen anyway. I was in the popular crowd, cheerleader, and had plenty of dates in HS. Went away to college, engaged at 18, married at 19, teaching before I was 20. What was I rushing for? Work???
[ Reply | More ]My son was born at the end of Nov. In our town the cut-off was Dec. 31st, so he started school as the youngest in the class. He was at the top of his class academically and a great athlete. When he was entering 3rd grade, we moved to a town with a Sept. cut-off. We met all of these kids who were a few months older and going into 2nd grade. Even the summer birthdays were held back. So we went to the new school before school started and had him put back in 2nd grade for social reasons. It was the best thing we ever did! His teacher gave him challenging work, so he wasn't bored, and he excelled in school. By HS he was very self assured, great grades, captain of 3 sports, and voted Homecoming King! I think being older gave him confidence and poise. My dd has an Aug. b'day, was on the young side, and had a harder time socially in elementary, but is very popular in HS. Academically, she's fine, but I think she would have had more confidence if she was on the older side.
[ Reply | More ]I was always the youngest -- born on the cutoff date in late October, so there were always some kids who were a full year older than me. I never had any problems with it at all, socially or academically. I was always pretty popular, was always the top girl in the class in terms of grades, and graduated from an ivy league college (which I started when I was 17). Granted, in elementary school I was usually the shortest/smallest kid in the class, but the only time that was a factor was during the basketball unit in gym class. Otherwise I did pretty well in sports and don't feel like it had a negative impact. As a teenager it was somewhat annoying for my friends to get their drivers liscences before me--but usually it was a good thing because it meant I never got stuck driving. In college I turned 21 later than everyone else, but we all had fake IDs anyway so it was not an issue. I think it can be a different situation for boys, who tend to be less mature for their age anyway and for whom things like height and size matter, but for a girl I thought it was a fun and really rewarding experience to the the youngest kid in the class.
[ Reply | More ]I was amongst the youngest and always the shortest. Honestly, it was never an issue. Maybe because I was never the most popular, I just worked with what I had and developed a thick skin, a spine, and an independent mind. There were many days I was upset at being called "shrimp" but no one ever thought was too young. And mostly, they were girls who were jealous. I am short...it wouldn't have mattered even if I was redshirted.
[ Reply | More ]My dd is the youngest in her class. She is doing v. v.v.v.v.well, academically and socially.
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