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  • How many messages would you leave for a "friend" who does not call you back before you realize she is not interested in being your friend?

    17 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    06.02.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag ]
    • 2

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      06.02.09, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i wouldn't make the connection, so lots.

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      06.02.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • really? If someone repeatedly did not call you back you would continue to call?

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        06.02.09, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • absolutely. it's mostly not about you. sometimes my friends are going through really rough patches. those are the times you reach out and say you're thinking about them, and if they need something let you know.

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          06.02.09, 10:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Ah, You are looking at it from the other point of view. I have received several messages from someone I do not wish to befriend. I don't call her back and she still keeps calling.

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            06.02.09, 10:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • then why not be clear about it. i'm talking friendships that are 25+ years old and established. i don't know about the kind you are talking about, but return the call and say i don't have time for a friendship.

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              06.02.09, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Guess I thought that sounds more rude/mean than just ignoring messages.

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                06.02.09, 10:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • np: i think that's a mean way to say it. i understand the value of being direct, but think a little tact here could avoid hurting her feelings. just call back and say something vague like you are too busy to get together now and list a bunch of conflicts in the next 2-3 months. Ask if you can call her at the start of next schoolyear to pursue and then don't follow through. it's a white lie, but if i were on the receiving end i'd prefer that to hearing you don't want to be my friend ever.

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                06.02.09, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • Thank you . THis is what I will do.

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                  06.02.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • so we disagree, and why make a liar of yourself. (i think alot of you lie too readily).

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                  06.02.09, 10:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • as I said, I think a lie in this case is to spare the caller's feelings. it's like I teach 8yo dd. if a girl in class asks, "do you like my outfit." she should find a way to respond positively even if she truly hates the outfit. i really hate deliberately hurting someone who is trying to reach out. for all we know the caller has been posting here and talking about working up the courage to call op for months.

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                    06.02.09, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think this is hard to gauge. Being a mom has definitely thrown me off in terms of returning phone calls. It is terrible but I have actually made a list of people who have tried to befriend me over the course of the last few years that I too have an interest in getting to know better but with so much 'life' getting in the way, I am not sure when of if I will be able to act upon it.

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      06.02.09, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • with the 3rd message I'd include a caveat about waiting until I heard from her since she must be so busy. If she never called, I'd take the hint

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      06.02.09, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • If this is a 25-yr friendship or some long-term thing, I'd want closure. Think how you would want to be treated.

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      06.02.09, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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