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What views expressed on UB (generally, not by trolls) do you totally disagree with completely? me: That a nanny should be allowed to do anything a mom would do, like shopping with kids.
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]The general view that there is only one "right" way to do things, and anyone that doesn't do things my way is wrong.
[ Reply | Options ]I disagree when posters say they do not want to have more than 1 kid because they may not get along with each other. I'm ok with not having more than one kid, but the reason people have more than 1 kid is so that they learn (are forced to learn) to live together with the good and the bad. We were three kids growing up and fought all the time. We are good friends now, but thats besides the point. I learned to fight fair, stand up for myself, and deal with my siblings without running to mom/dad all the time. Built character, more than anything else.
[ Reply | Options ]You do understand that only children can do all of those things, too, right? I swear, some of you treat us like we're socially handicapped.
[ Reply | Options ]Thats not my point. My point is why not to have kids = because they may not get along, is just wrong. You can have an only kid because thats what you want, want to give extra attention, want the special relationship etc. -OR
[ Reply | Options ]That's not why I want to have only one child. DH and I simply do not want more, that's all. Just like there are moms out there that want 8 kids, there are moms out there that only want one. There doesn't have to be a financial reason, or because we want to spoil them with attention/resources, or be their BFF, I JUST WANT ONE.
[ Reply | Options ]^BTW, I think the argument is backwards. No one ever said "I don't want to have two kids because they might not get along." What I've heard/read is: "Just because you have > 1 kid, it doesn't mean they'll get along," and it's usually in response to someone saying that only children will grow up lonely and without someone special in their lives.
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Tell me why you disagree with this view. I cringe a bit when my nanny tells me about the errands she runs with my DB, but then I think, I do that all the time when I am home with DB, so why should there be a double standard? (Yes, I know she is getting paid to be with DB, and I am not, but still, I so not want to dictate every aspect of my nanny's day.) Plus, I think it's good for DB to tag along on errands if it means she learns that the world does not revolve around her.
[ Reply | Options ]op- Because I do not think a nanny has the same interests, and the same judgment as a mom. I've grown up with a nanny and have employed one for my DC as well, and while I trust her with DC unquestioningly, I do not believe she will make the same judgments I will make re DC's mental development. I do not expect her to never stop entertaining DC. I know she has quiet time for 1hr when DC have to play/read to themselves, while she does what she wants = read magazines. But while a nanny may be inclined to keep a child strapped to a stroller for 1-1.5 hrs while doing some quick shopping at an overcrowded loehman's, few moms will do that. If my dc are restless, I will leave the store after a while and postpone shopping till later. Nanny will not do that. She will rather give the child a snack to keep them distracted in the stroller while her shopping takes precedence. And when can she shop? Same time I shop! After my work hours are done!
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when do you expect these people to run errands, and why does the world have to revolve around your child?
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I was very upset by the insistent postings a month or so ago about people expecting babysitting arrangements near weddings they were attending. We live in the US without any relatives so if we travel to another US city for a wedding and its a no kids allowed wedding, AND there is no on-site babysitting, we can almost guarantee we cannot make it. DC are too young to go willingly to a strange babysitter. And putting everyone in so much stress so that the bride and groom can enjoy their day and our company is not worth it. OK if they gracefully accept our not attending though, and we usually send gifts no matter what.
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