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I'm having a panic attack - can anyone help? My dd was accepted at a tt co-ed and the special music school, and we are zoned for a good local K, and we are waiting for the G&T placements. We turned down the SMS, although it was an honor to be accepted, it seemed too narrow for my dd, who has many other interests. Now I'm pushing public, my husband is pushing private, and we are anxious about the G&T. I worry that we made a terrible mistake not accepting SMS. I worry that if we go private it will impoverish us, but if we go public we will be dissatisfied. What would you do?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I would stick with tt for now. If it's too much, next year you can always switch back to public. It's much more difficult to do it the other way, unless you're looking at Anderson.
[ Reply | Options ]SMS is too small & narrow unless your dd is really, really into music. I think family harmony trumps tt education, actually (if tt will lead to disagreements about money, I told you so's etc.) so ONLY do tt if you both are totally on board with the sacrifices and stress. Your child's overall well being and success will be based on a sense of comfort with herself, and she won't have that if your family atmosphere is tense. I'm all for the good local K myself, but see no problem with the others if you make it work as a team.
[ Reply | Options ]OP - Thanks for all your thoughts! I grew up in NYC, try to keep perspective with these things, I swore I wouldn't let this process get to me, and yet, here I am, sweating it out, long after most people are settled. Yes, we'd lose our deposit, and maybe more, if we gave up private now. If it were up to me I would definitely take G&T over private, but dh feels that private must be even better.
[ Reply | Options ]np: If you are afraid you will be impoverished by private, you're right. Its more expensive than just the tuition, etc. (summer? after school? extras?) Walk away from the private, and you will no doubt be more than pleased with your gen ed. And if G&T pans out, consider it at that point.
[ Reply | Options ]First, do NOT sweat not going to SMS. I've heard horrific stories from there and 'narrow' is only the beginning. Unless you are into your kid getting to Carnegie Hall at the expense of a lot of the pleasures of childhood, don't give it another thought. Second, re: Private, if you do it, those bills will keep coming and coming. There is no respite, and it's stressful and the costs are only going to go up. Third, the fact is that if your kid is in a popular G&T or public (say, 9, 166, 87, 6, etc etc.) you will find the school pretty great. Many hundreds of families do. Don't let spending all that money on private convince you that your kid is going to be reading, writing, multiplying, singing, playing chess and socializing all that much more expertly than if she/he was at public. On top of it all, there is tremendous discussion and energy going into the public stuff right now.. this can only, really, mean progress.
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