UrbanBaby Asks...
Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
- I really don't enjoy it at all, and wish I could spend less time with them
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I want to leave NYC. Kids in a great school, nice apt., good career, etc, but I am just sick of the rat race. Want a simpler life. Anyone else?
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yes, that is what I am thinking of doing. no real reason other than work to stay in this area if we leave nyc.
[ Reply | More ]OR: I think the idea of trying to make friends from scratch is annoying, especially for the kids. Also keep in mind that in many states social life revolves around the church/PTA so make sure you can fit-in
[ Reply | More ]This is hilarious generalization. At first I was going to reply snarkily but then decided it's actually an astute observation (signed NYC mom from the southern US here). I have had a fantasy about moving to Asheville NC but I think you have totally hit the nail on the head.
[ Reply | More ]Yes, what an "astute observation". My sister lives in Chicago and my mother lives in Milwaukee - I'll have to give them a ring and let them know since thy don't live in the TriState area their social life resolves around the church they don't belong to and the PTA they have no reason to be a part of.
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it seems to be the case for nyc families with dcs too. their lives revolve around the pta and church/synagogue. all the kids do the same enrichments, and they all go to hebrew school, camp etc. not sure its different.
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How long have you lived here (and how old are you if you don't mind saying, it's anon after all)? I share your sentiments, but have lived here so long I think I'm afraid to change. I've been here 20+ years.
[ Reply | More ]i live in queens. great schools, a stone's throw to any major cultural attraction, busy life without the rat race. there are places in ny you can have this.
[ Reply | More ]I am from california originally. have no connection to queens, and it seems that many who live there are from there. seems to have a tight community aspect. don't think I could live there. also, I would still be doing the same job if I moved there, and then what have I gained exactly. I want a big change.
[ Reply | More ]I'm from Queens too and I don't understand why you can't have the same job. I think you're implying the Queens is too "ethnic" for you. I mean, do you seriously think we check "passports" at the border and shun you if you're not from Queens originally? I live in a house with a backyard and I'm in midtown in less than 30 minutes... sorry if that doesn't "work" for you.
[ Reply | More ]I live in Forest Hills, and most of DC's friends' parents have moved in from other neighborhoods, including from Manhattan and Brooklyn, myself included. Not "from here" at all.
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I made a drastic change because I hated the rat race: we relocated to the Midwest. It has been 3 years. We can afford a lot more, were able to have another db and found decent cultural activites. I always say that I don't miss NYC during the week, but I sure miss it on weekends. I miss my friends. It's a compromise. I say if you could live just close enough to NYC to be able to go at least once a month, that would be great.
[ Reply | More ]Yes, me too. As soon as dh can find a job down south, we're out of here. I have family there. I've been in NYC 23 years and I can't wait to move. I know it will be a culture shock, but we'll adjust.
[ Reply | More ]Yes, so ready to leave. 3dc and the recession have made nyc unlivable for us. I have wanted to leave for years, but kept believing we needed to be here for the career trajectory. Having less money has made me realize just how much more it costs to live here and how we truly could have a better quality of life elsewhere with a lot less $ and stress.
[ Reply | More ]Your not the only one...it's very challenging living here with children, financially and physically. It does not fit my lifestyle any longer!
[ Reply | More ]The Chicago area is great. Many nice towns to raise kids yet close to the city with so many things to do.
[ Reply | More ]Be careful what you wish for... I left NYC to move to the midwest wtih husband. We joined the "suburban life" and it is so boring! Watching paint dry would be more exciting. Many of the moms in our neighborhood (who are mostly east and west coasters) love it here. It's affordable, no traffic, they can afford to be stay home moms. But conversations in simpler times and places are simple conversations! If I am invited to another mom's club where all the ladies do is sit around and talk about their kids and drink wine (all dressed up I might add), I may shoot myself. For them, they love it. Just depends on who you are. And outside of large cities, the first poster hit it on the head.. it's church and child-related activities.
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We've lived in quite a few now actually. The are smaller communities. If you pick a Chicago or Kansas City or St. Louis or any major city in Texas, you may find you get more city living - and a lower cost of living and easier lifestyle. Again, depends on what you want. I think "suburban" living is easy, but boring as heck and very depressing. Why do you think Desperate Housewives made it big?
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I'm with you, Sister. I would move to the 'burbs tomorrow if it weren't so important to DH to stay here (and this is with one dc).
[ Reply | More ]Moved out of NYC and have realized that you can't underestimate the value of a job. Have been looking for a job for 8 months and they are hard to find. The grass is always greener... Realizing that life and stress is what you make it. Try to "be where you are" and the rest will follow.
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I would agree that you need to pick your poison. the suburbs can be dreadful in their own way, but I don't think I could handle the stress and competitiveness of NYC again. It truly is a rat race. So now in NYC suburbs, I deal with many fake moms, stepford moms, and moms whose lives revolve around tennis. But there are plenty of normal moms too. But after 8 years, I'm still tired of the materialism, competitiveness, and the fakeness, so we're looking to move again, further away from NYC. we'll see...... I doubt it's perfect anywhere.
[ Reply | More ]If all you want to do is chat with other moms and watch your children play outside and participate in the infamous "bake sales", you can do it in Central Park, Brooklyn, Queens, NJ suburbs, Kansas City, etc. If you like art museums, symphony, art classes for kids, they do exist at other places, however, not at the same level. Instead of 138 Kandinsky's at Gugghenheim, there will be only one. Is that going to be a problem for you? Life is only dreadful if you make it such.
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