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  • Would you ever disown one of your children? If so, what would be the cause?

    49 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    05.22.09, 09:30 AM [ Flag ]
    • since she's only a baby I don't think I can really answer this question, but I would find it hard to forgive anyone who committed a terrible crime (rape or murder). Even my own child. Of course, I would also feel at fault in part for their behavior and hope that I will never have to face such an issue.

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      05.22.09, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • never, but might reconsider if they murdered their father/my dh, or slept with (adult consensual) step father, assuming I was married to someone other than their father.

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      05.22.09, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • The 2nd scenario seems a bit twisted-sort of a more perverse version of blaming the other woman, imo.

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        05.22.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • or: it is twisted, but i wouldn't stay with the step father either. but again, i can't imagine ever disowning my child. when they fuck up, they need the most support.

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          05.22.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • a la Soon Yi Previn (Allen?)

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        05.22.09, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I don't believe that a parent loves his/her children because they are good, but because they are his/her children. The love is unconditional

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      05.22.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • i don't know if disowning and loving are mutually exclusive.

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        05.22.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Sappy PC answer, not borne out in fact

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        05.22.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • OR: I would always love my DCs no matter what, sorry if you have a hard time comprehending that

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          05.22.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I do because it's carte blanche for people to do basically anything at all without social consequence

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            05.22.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Stop judging, that you may not be judged. 2 For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. 3 Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions

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              05.22.09, 09:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • loving is one thing, but maintaining a relationship with someone who is either toxic or has committed a heinous crime isn't the same thing

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            05.22.09, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • If it were for their own good. Say a substance abuse issue where the expectation of an inheritance were enabling bad behavior.

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      05.22.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITA with this. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to stop enabling destructive behavior. And that can mean ending contact.

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        05.22.09, 10:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • my sister disowned ds for this. he was breaking into their house and stealing stuff to pay for crystal meth. it all worked out in the end. he's been clean for over two years.

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        05.22.09, 04:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Yes. If you have done everything for your child and she continues to do things that push you out of her life, I find disowning them to be the right thing to do. My children have said hurtful things to me in the past and I told them that I was dead to them now. It took a few months, but they eventually apologized.

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      05.22.09, 10:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • nah. you have to own to disown. parents would never have disowned me, i'll pay it forward.

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      05.22.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • If my kid turned out gay.

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      05.22.09, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • you think sexual orientation is a choice?

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        05.22.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • That is just sad that you would do that. I feel sorry for your kids.

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        05.22.09, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • seriously? i think my 4 y.o. son is gay and i think i love him even more (more likely he'll be close to me as an adult)

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        05.22.09, 11:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Same story here exactly. I kind of like that he's most likely gay. It makes him different.

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          05.22.09, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np- and hijack, What makes you think this? I sometimes wonder about 2yo ds who is over sensitive, loves jewelry, pink, dresses etc. But also loves trucks, trains and the usual guy stuff.

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          05.22.09, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I know a family going through something where the father may kind of need to disown one of the sons. The oldest son has sexually abused 2 of the other girls in the family and in order to keep custody of the children, he needs to effectively disown the abuser son. It's a really terrible situation.

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      05.22.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Only if one of my DC killed another one of my DC. Or if one of them became a born-again Christian.

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      05.22.09, 11:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Read "We Need to Talk about Kevin." While not an amazing book it is interesting in addressing this exact topic.

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      05.22.09, 02:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • If one became a born again christian it might not be more than a holiday card and a birthday phone call. I couldn't bear it and I'd feel as though I failed them.

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      05.22.09, 04:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • only in the case of self-preservation

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      05.22.09, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Disown? There isn't anything she could do that would make me disown her. Even murder.

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      05.22.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • NO!! My mother has disowned me. She ignores me and wants to interact only with my dc.

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      05.24.09, 07:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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