UrbanBaby - dd had a playdate last week with an old ...

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dd had a playdate last week with an old friend who used to live in same bldg. The playdate was very long and after dd felt terrible about it. She said the other girl wouldn't do anything dd suggested and was even rude a few times. They never really engaged in anything, the other girl wanted to watch videos mostly. Should I teach dd to tell another child how she really feels? She's turning 7. At this age do kids only play with kids who have the same interests? She used to have fun no matter what and now this is happening often.
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04.13.09, 07:21 AM [ Flag ]
- You don't have to agree, but I think you should stay out of it. It was one afternoon. Give your dc a chance to learn some things in a manner other than you telling her, kwim?
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  04.13.09, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - I think you're saying that with experiences in time she will develop her own understanding and way to deal? I always want to fix things in some way.
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    04.13.09, 07:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - Yes, that is what I am saying - experience is the BEST teacher. By fixzing things your rob your child of the opportunity to figure it out and fix it themselves (children LOVE to do this) - they need the opportunity to fix small (minor unimportant in the overall scheme of life) things. They need practice - to find success and failure - so when they are out in the big world (without you) they can do it. With boyfriends or friends who take advantage. You have to start letting them practice - you can't send them out there with no life experience only your words.
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      04.13.09, 07:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - Yes, thanks I really appreciate this because not fixing it was the only thing I didn't think of. I like the idea of letting her know she can work it out herself. I wish she'd speak up fo rher rights more with friends though.
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        04.13.09, 08:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I have a 7 yo and they do sometimes quarrel on playdates. I let them work it out generally but my rule is no videos, TV or video games on regular playdates (meaning it is less than 3 hours, on the rare occassion we have a longer playdate I would let them watch 1/2 hour show). I also encourage them to take turns picking activities. But yes, there are some kids dd plays better with than others, and honestly, I avoid playdates with those kids.
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  04.13.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - Exactly what I was wondering. This is new for us. In the past my dd would be happy to play with any kid no matter what, but now I think I will avoid playdates with the kids she can't play with. Taking turns picking activities is a great idea thanks so much for bring that to my attention.
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    04.13.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - I really think at this age they start to form their own friendships. I tell DD that she needs to be nice to everyone and treat them well, but not everyone has to be her friends. There are a couple of kids she just does not click with right now, and staying away is the best thing to do in the short run IMO.
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      04.13.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - Thanks.
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        04.13.09, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]