04.12.09, 07:22 PM 14 replies
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Just had major blow up with DH. we live in the burbs, and need to do some work to the house in order to prepare for baby #2 due in Sept, and he doesn't want to spend $ on anything at all (even though we can afford to).i literally never go shopping, never buy anything for myself or for the house--it's big but empty--and I asked to do some work/projects for the home that i think are pretty essential and he totally blew up at me. it feels so unfair, and like he is so stingy and mean.

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04.12.09, 07:22 PM Flag ]
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  • Just had major blow up with DH. we live in the burbs, and need to do some work to the house in order to prepare for baby #2 due in Sept, and he doesn't want to spend $ on anything at all (even though we can afford to).i literally never go shopping, never buy anything for myself or for the house--it's big but empty--and I asked to do some work/projects for the home that i think are pretty essential and he totally blew up at me. it feels so unfair, and like he is so stingy and mean.

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    04.12.09, 07:22 PM Flag ]
    • sorry. do you wohm or sahm?

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      04.12.09, 07:23 PM Flag
    • More details, what kind of work and what is your financial situation? Could he just be putting together a nest egg for #2?

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      04.12.09, 07:51 PM Flag
    • Why is he expected to do the projects?

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      04.12.09, 07:57 PM Flag
    • Start ferreting away funds you don't spend on yourself/house particularly as a sahm - might come in handy.

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      04.12.09, 09:09 PM Flag
      • I love this standard UB response. In response to ANY husband/wife disagreement, the answer is always prepare for divorce.

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        04.13.09, 06:50 AM Flag
    • my dh also is VERY nervous about spending any $ these days although we have plenty saved (he works in banking so he is scared). When things are calm can you ask DH why he is not willing to spend the $$-ask him nicely to hear you out. Sounds like he is stressed about something and therefore is blowing up at you. This happens to me a lot these days

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      04.13.09, 06:38 AM Flag
    • if it isn't flooding, leaking, or dangerous, you don't NEED to do it. While this is a bad time to be spending money, you might try to convince him that the cost of labor and materials is going down so it might be a great time. i would stop the "it feel so unfair..." line of talking/thinking, it makes you sound 12 years old and probably not effective in negotiations.

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      04.13.09, 06:41 AM Flag
      • ITA - dont spend money if you dont need to. People are losing their jobs all over the place. Those people who have jobs are scared shitless.

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        04.14.09, 06:25 AM Flag
    • OMG. Shut your whiny ass already. You're lucky DH even puts up with you.

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      04.13.09, 06:46 AM Flag
      • looks like the mean people are back on UB this week.

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        04.13.09, 06:47 AM Flag
        • np: a direct result of spending all week with the kids? lol.

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          04.13.09, 06:48 AM Flag
    • He sounds like he's being reasonable (unless of course the house is literally falling apart).

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      04.14.09, 06:27 AM Flag
    • What is the work you'd like done on the house to prepare for the baby?

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      04.14.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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