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UB Like it's 1776!

Any wives of declaration signers on? I feel so alone, with DH out trying to build a country for everyone else when he has a family at home!

Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)

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DH just gave me the following for 36th bday: jcrew gift card and DIY home improvement book. I am SAHM with 3 under 4. Should I be as depressed about this as I am, or is that being petty and spoiled?
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General Topics
Preschool/Kids
Toddler
03.26.09, 09:15 AM Flag ]
- lol. you'd think he'd know better. the gift card is nice, though.
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  03.26.09, 09:18 AM Flag
  - Unless I specifically ask for something, I get nothing but IOU's.
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    03.26.09, 09:19 AM Flag
  - OP: yes, but required no thought. I don't know, feeling sad about it.
    [ Reply | More ]
    03.26.09, 09:19 AM Flag
    - i'm sorry you are sad about it. i'm sad today b/c dh and i had a fight last night and he basically said i'm lazy and a horrible wife and housekeeper. i'd take a gift card over that.
      [ Reply | More ]
      03.26.09, 09:21 AM Flag
      - NR: wow, that is sad...sorry.
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        03.26.09, 09:30 AM Flag
      - way to hijack the post
        [ Reply | More ]
        03.26.09, 09:40 AM Flag
- my bday was last week, got a hastily scribbled post it left on the kitchen counter that morning saying happy birthday and peck on cheek when he got home. no card, no gift, he didn't have time.
  [ Reply | More ]
  03.26.09, 09:32 AM Flag
- once, and i am not joking here, mine gave me a thighmaster.
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  03.26.09, 09:33 AM Flag
  - I'm calling ulterior motives
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    03.26.09, 09:41 AM Flag
- Do you like J Crew? If so, what's the problem? Men suck at buying gifts unless left obvious clues. I got iPod accessories - but I don't even have an iPod - he does (well, I have a shuffle, but there are no accessories).
  [ Reply | More ]
  03.26.09, 09:41 AM Flag
- Did he ask you what you wanted? And if so did you answer with something other than "nothing"?
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  03.26.09, 10:17 AM Flag
- you generally get what you ask for. I tell my dh 3-4 things that I want for Christmas and my birthday. He usually picks one of them and sometimes surprises me with something I didn't ask for (or want). Guys are pretty dense, you have to be explicit in telling them what you want. Saying "Surprise me," or hoping he will intuitively know what you really want is a recipe for major disappointment.
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  03.26.09, 10:27 AM Flag
- DH: the fact that you are on here complaining shows that your DH is clueless about how to please you, he went for a few simple things. My DW gives me a list about a month before so I have a real handle on what to get - we are not mind readers!
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  03.26.09, 10:37 AM Flag
- It would be nice if he had actually took a few minutes to really think of something that would be meaningful to you, a card even, your favoirtie flower, a metrocard! Alas I think the DH above is the more common attitude...it's not their fault they don't know you better!!
  [ Reply | More ]
  03.26.09, 10:52 AM Flag
  - I'd be more pissed if dh gave me a metrocard for my birthday!
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    03.26.09, 10:53 AM Flag
    - I'm saying if that was something that was meaningful to you...it coudl be anything!
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      03.26.09, 11:35 AM Flag
  - It's also not our fault that you equate knowing someone well with being able to pick the right gift. -np dh
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    03.26.09, 11:31 AM Flag
    - well there is no "right" gift but there are thoughful ones. It's natural, as time goes by we tend to not be as thoughtful to our loved ones. Especially the ones that are most important.
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      03.26.09, 11:37 AM Flag
- i would be royally pissed
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  03.26.09, 11:39 AM Flag
  - Royally? Wow. It seems like he tried. It actually seemed sort of sweet to me. Imagine if it had been a DIY SELF improvement book!
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    03.26.09, 11:54 AM Flag
- I do not see what your problem is. Is J Crew not good enough for you?
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  03.26.09, 11:42 AM Flag
- Sounds pretty nice to me. Are you a little kid? It's your 36th b-day. Grow up.
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  03.26.09, 11:57 AM Flag
- What were you expecting? I think if you expected something quite different, or if these gifts felt different to you from years before, than it is effecting your perception and mood. It is sort of sweet though. I'd be happy with it.
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  03.26.09, 11:59 AM Flag

DH just gave me the following for 36th bday: jcrew gift card and DIY home improvement book. I am SAHM with 3 under 4. Should I be as depressed about this as I am, or is that being petty and spoiled?

UrbanBaby Asks...

Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?

UB Like it's 1776!

Inside UrbanBaby

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UrbanBabyNewYork

DH just gave me the following for 36th bday: jcrew gift card and DIY home improvement book. I am SAHM with 3 under 4. Should I be as depressed about this as I am, or is that being petty and spoiled?

lol. you'd think he'd know better. the gift card is nice, though.

Unless I specifically ask for something, I get nothing but IOU's.

OP: yes, but required no thought. I don't know, feeling sad about it.

i'm sorry you are sad about it. i'm sad today b/c dh and i had a fight last night and he basically said i'm lazy and a horrible wife and housekeeper. i'd take a gift card over that.

NR: wow, that is sad...sorry.

way to hijack the post

my bday was last week, got a hastily scribbled post it left on the kitchen counter that morning saying happy birthday and peck on cheek when he got home. no card, no gift, he didn't have time.

once, and i am not joking here, mine gave me a thighmaster.

I'm calling ulterior motives

Do you like J Crew? If so, what's the problem? Men suck at buying gifts unless left obvious clues. I got iPod accessories - but I don't even have an iPod - he does (well, I have a shuffle, but there are no accessories).

Did he ask you what you wanted? And if so did you answer with something other than "nothing"?

DH: the fact that you are on here complaining shows that your DH is clueless about how to please you, he went for a few simple things. My DW gives me a list about a month before so I have a real handle on what to get - we are not mind readers!

It would be nice if he had actually took a few minutes to really think of something that would be meaningful to you, a card even, your favoirtie flower, a metrocard! Alas I think the DH above is the more common attitude...it's not their fault they don't know you better!!

I'd be more pissed if dh gave me a metrocard for my birthday!

I'm saying if that was something that was meaningful to you...it coudl be anything!

It's also not our fault that you equate knowing someone well with being able to pick the right gift. -np dh

well there is no "right" gift but there are thoughful ones. It's natural, as time goes by we tend to not be as thoughtful to our loved ones. Especially the ones that are most important.

i would be royally pissed

Royally? Wow. It seems like he tried. It actually seemed sort of sweet to me. Imagine if it had been a DIY SELF improvement book!

I do not see what your problem is. Is J Crew not good enough for you?

Sounds pretty nice to me. Are you a little kid? It's your 36th b-day. Grow up.

What were you expecting? I think if you expected something quite different, or if these gifts felt different to you from years before, than it is effecting your perception and mood. It is sort of sweet though. I'd be happy with it.