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Can anyone help me figure out how to deal with my ds's oedipus complex without judging me? I know it's kind of normal at a certain age (he's 4 1/2) but ds's seems to be particularly strong. He'll grab my face between his hands and just kiss me over & over, rub me & and tell me how much he loves me. I feel like it is inappropriate but I need to find a gentle way to get him to know that without "rejecting" his love. Right now, I just sort of jump up and try desperately to distract him, but I think he's on to me. Anyone btdt?
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I am a np and yes, btdt with a boy and a girl. Live for this now...You are the center of a Universe that's getting bigger to him every day-You're home base. Both of my kids were like this, both insisted they would marry us and also that they wanted to be kids 'when they grew up'. While they're still affectionate and devoted, that 'passionate' love thing did end.
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I think you're overthinking it - my dd is the same age and is very lovey-dovey with me (except when she's not) - if he's physically hurting/irritating you, say "please be gentle", or "could you please not touch me right now?" but I don't think this is abnormal.
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Psych here. Not abnormal. Tell him you love him and he can spend as much time as he wants with you and daddy. You can also tell him that even though you love him you are already married to daddy and one day he will find someone too. Or you can do nothing and he will probably outgrow it. So, I agree with "enjoy it while it lasts."
[ Reply | Options ]my ds (also 4.5yo) is doing the same thing. driving me nuts. every time he's upset he doesn't love me anymore. every time he's happy or wants my approval, he loves me. he expects me to drop everything and thank the heavens everytime he says he loves me. it's driving me nuts. i think it's also being pushed along b/c they are doing a unit in school about feelings.
[ Reply | Options ]This is my first visit here, I was searching the internet on this topic because a bit worried that my ds (who's always been very physically affectionate and clingy) last night told me he wished he could kill Daddy, or that Daddy would go away and live with another lady! So I'm very glad to hear I'm not the only one with these concerns, and wanted to give you the same feeling! I think this is completely the normal age for this- I read it's between 3 and 5, so our 4/2 year olds fit completely- and I guess we just have to continue to be loving mums to them, so they don't feel abandoned- and hope that that'll give them the confidence to work through it successfully, as so many men must have managed to do at some stage!
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