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Need a few opinions...4yo dd just casually said that while "Mary" (College afternoon/evening nanny) was here, she and baby brother (16months) were in the bath and brother turned the water on, got scared because it poured out SO fast and she yelled out and then decided to jump out of bathtub and grab Mary who was headed into laundry room to come and turn it off! She said she was too scared to try to pick up brother as he has gotten so heavy. UGH! This girl is my ALL time favorite, (seemingly) very hands-on, tidy and just what I thought was the perfect afternoon help for us. I work full time, in and out regularly. I really don't know if my daughter could have described this wrong? Do I forget about trying to talk to her about it and just let her go completely...how do I mention in order to get the real story if dd got it wrong? She's a sophmore in college and seems very mature, organized -she actually heads up a group that places responsible college students with families that need after school help. I'm SO bummmed. thoughts?
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]OP: thank you for the reply. Yes, no doubt he should never be left alone..most of the time when I bathe him, my hands are even on him the entire time. No way would he be ok with one little slip. She's a very sensitive young girl and I think this will really shake her up but question is, if she'd even think about leaving the room is she bad at making decisions so no point in talking w. her about it? can i risk keeping her knowing this?
[ Reply | Options ]She probably thinks that as your 16mo is mobile that he couldn't get into too much trouble or that she would hear if he did (we know neither is true!). If you love her and think that this is the only issue then have a chat with her and say the rules are when they are in the bath never to take her eyes off them. GL
[ Reply | Options ]she is a total flake - what don't you get ? I couldnt give a damn if she is sensitive or not. hire a woman and not a girl...she sounds like a flaky teenager. how are you even weiging this...sounds like you are more concerned aboyt her feelings then your kids safety.
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OP: she always makes sure both kids have their supergoop on whenever leaving the house, she packs a better diaper bag than me, she cooks fresh broccoli and laughs w. them when they make trees out of it. But how could she do this??
[ Reply | Options ]none of what you mention is important. first and foremost is safety. i equate what she did with letting your 16mo cross the street with out holding his hand, or leaving a window open in his room that has no window guard. safety is first, from that point I look for a warm personality, an ability to warm meals, etc etc...
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HOLY SH**! Are you kidding me!! Let me get this straights - she was heading into laundry room while kids were in tub???? A 16 mo old???? Listen - if it were me - this is simply a deal breaker. You do anything that stupid, that reckless, something that ANYONE who cares for kids knows is endangering their life and you are OUT. I dont think my 7 yo would leave my 3 yo ds in the tub for a second, b/c she know hows dangerous it is. How are you so calm?
[ Reply | Options ]OP: That is why I am writing. Your opinions, looking at this as an outsider, are likely to be better than what I am feeling. This young college girl has become part of our family. I can't imagine her doing anything that was even similar to what my 4 yo said. But I think you are right and I just need to let her go.
[ Reply | Options ]i can tell are trying to be too nice and be her "friend" - this is a disaster. you are her employer - she has the most important job in your world and she must understand the level of excellence expected in such a role. in my opinion what she did is equivelant to working for a shop owner and nearly burning down their store...
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OP: It's not that I'm calm, I'm just that type of person that doesn't get outraged over something I can't change in the past, I just make the decision if there is one to make going forward. After hearing my dd's description of this, I made the decision that she could not be trusted anymore. I was just looking on UB to give me a little "outside looking in" feedback. Could my 4 yo have mixed this story up? Could they have just been playing in our bathroom (rather than "in" the bath) and son turned on the water? He could have never, alone, crawled inside the bath as it's built up high on marble that he couldn't get over. Just thoughts!
[ Reply | Options ]So open a discussion with her saying "hey, I heard that you gave the kids a bath the other day..." and see what she says...then continue. I dont know your dd, but would she really make up her brother being in the tub...sounds like a lot of detail for a made up story...
[ Reply | Options ]thats the thing. my 4yo is very calm, mature and very "motherly" She doesn't make things up-- When I asked her questions her story never changed one bit, then I asked her to tell daddy and she gave the same report. I guess even firing her I need to get her story and that sounds like a good way to open it. I also liked the other post that said "dd told me she was in the bathtub with brother and they were scared because you weren't in the room"
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SHE LEFT YOU BABY IN THE BATH TUB- please do not keep her. Judgement does not improve I promise- 3 years ago I had a nanny that seemed ok but something was off during our first week and I didnt trust her. The 2nd week she left my 3 year old in the POOL by himself to take my other child to the baath room- luckly I was outside planting flowers-
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