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I am pretty sure we are going to be rejected for preschool from the synagogue where dh and I have been members for 2yrs. this week got a reminder in the mail about how the second half of our annual gift pledge is due. we should hear in the next 1.5wks about acceptances. i think we would leave the temple if rejected. dh wants to hold off paying until we hear. what do you think?
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]op: we pledged in sept and paid half then. what do we do if they keep asking for the other half?
[ Reply | Options ]Tell them that you'll be giving them the other half in March--or just do nothing until you get your acceptance letter.
[ Reply | Options ]op: ok, thanks. i thought the timing of the pledge gift letter was a little suspicious.
[ Reply | Options ]Obviously it is. They are probably hoping everyone will pay up before the letters go out. Don't play their game--or if you're planning a large gift, call them on it. Tell them you're planning on making a large financial commitment to them, but you also expect that they will show an equal commitment to your family and will take your child.
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Listen, they're asking her to! The conversation is with the development director or whoever it is, not the doa. It goes like this: "We are thrilled to be part of this community, we are planning on continuing to support it generously, we are committed to your teachings, and we want our child to be schooled in this tradition. We find it somewhat upsetting that we have not been told that s/he is accepted as yet, and would like to know that's going to happen." Let the development person take it from there and get back to you. Only works with a big gift, fwiw. AND there's no shame because these instititutions have preschools as a service for their members. It's outrageous that they don't take them all.
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It's not shady. Would you pay your dues to a golf club where you couldn't get a tee time because they're booked for the year? These are not independent preschools.
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IMHO if your family's temple is not 100 percent committed to your children's educational and spiritual well-being, they're FOS. Bad enough that these places charge for high holidays etc. but if they don't take your kids in their preschool, they suck.
[ Reply | Options ]NP. there are way many more members than spots. joining for 2 years, no offense to OP, in the hope of getting in is not a long-term member and there are many long-term members applying (we were members of our temple for 5 years before we even had a child). we didn't apply to temple for school (not convenient) but would have expected better deference than someone who joined just to get into the school, which OP clearly did. I would not say anything about the gift and just do nothing until you see.
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most temples have many more members than they can take into the nursery school. Sibs are accepted before members. I hope it works out for you but I wouldn't take it personally- 2 years is not a long standing member.
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op: yes! that's strange though because i heard last year they took non-members, so i figured they must have taken all the members who applied too
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^^^ also, I'm so sorry i posted the name. that makes it searchable. don't post anything identifiable at this point, op.
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I posted above about being long-term members. didn't realize it was Brotherhood. They sent the reminders out to everyone - we are NOT at the preschool at just got ours. I doubt they are waiting to see what you do with the pledge before deciding. I stick by my advice above. You do not need to send in your check now. wait and see what happends. That said, it is a great synagogue whether you get into the school or not (personally i think there are better choices for preschool in the area), but we love the community there and could not think of joining anywhere else in the area.
[ Reply | Options ]op: thanks -- i will hold off on the check. i agree that there are better preschools, but we love the idea of a jewish school since we will likely go public later on. glad to hear the letter isn't as suspicious as i thought it was.
[ Reply | Options ]lol, the one person I heard of who got rejected from their temple preschool was a brotherhood too. She was LIVID and they had been members for years before dc was conceived. The other person who I knew that actually had a dc at brotherhood (a non-member) pulled her dc after the 3s years because her dc wasn't happy there.
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This whole post is gross to me. You should join a temple for the reason of how their religious philosophy relates to you - not whether or not you want their preschool.
[ Reply | Options ]op: how is this any different than temples that require you to join once you're accepted? our family has similar views on religion and education, as does the temple we joined. that said, there are other temples we see ourselves fitting in with -- they just happen to not have preschools.
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I guess it would depend on why they were rejecting dc. Is it just because there are too many members and not enough spaces to take them all? If so, then I might still send the check. If they are taking children who are not even members over yours though I'd be pissed. No way I'd donate to them. It's pre-school!
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