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Is my daughter a lesbian? She's 12. She always had crushes on boys when she was little. She really liked certain boys. When she was around 10, she asked me if she was gay because she really liked, kind of loved a girl in her class. Last night she told me a made up story in which a character who she identified with had a crush on a girl in her class.
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My husband and I are both straight, liberal, but I must admit, I'm a little afraid. I KNOW there's still so much prejudice against homosexuals. We're in the suburbs and I wonder if we should be thinking about perhaps another, more liberal environment.
[ Reply | Options ]you and your husband should just relax. my older sister is gay and as liberal as my parents are, when she came out to them in college they FREAKED. it was horrible. then they started being ridiculously strict with me because they were afraid her sexuality would affect my reputation. it took YEARS before my sister was comfortable with them. they really drove her away.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I think you are missing OR's point. I hope my kids are thin, smart, funny, disciplined, creative, athletic, etc. I want more than anything for them to be happy and for life to be easy. While being any one (or all) of above does not guarantee happiness it sure makes life easier. Included in that etc is being heterosexual. Recognizing that doesn't suggest you will be any less tolerant of your kids than you would be if they grow up to be short or dull.
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That is awesome that your dd feels okay sharing this with you. you must be a good mom who she trusts to be able to be so open with you. BTW I actually once had a crush on a girl (I was in 8th grade) -- it was my first and last girl crush, maybe it's just a time of feeling new feelings and does not mean gay (although nothing wrong with being gay!!!)
[ Reply | Options ]Thank you for the vote of confidence.:) I just want her to be happy and to have a fun and terrific life.
[ Reply | Options ]Honestly, it blows me away b/c I would NEVER ever have shared anything like that with my mom, who was a good mom and loved me and tried NOT to be judgmental, but I think you guys just must have a nice, healthy open relationship!! As an aside, I dated a guy whose sister was gay and after the initial shock (I think she came out in college?) her parents really were fine with it and def. welcomed her and her partner and did not make a big deal out of it and the family is super close and it's very lovely to see.... So.... she's kind of young to be gay or straight or anything other than confused, but with parents like you guys, she's going to have a great life :)
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sometimes a crush of the same sex develops not because the child is gay but because the child admires the other child and wants to be like them.
[ Reply | Options ]I've always been a fan of what does not kill them will only make them stronger. It is truly amazing that your daughter at her age can come and tell you these things. Be thankful for that. Even if it will be tough (if she is gay), you be the one who supports her and helps her embrace herself as an individual and become that special person who always knew she was.
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