01.12.09, 05:05 AM 26 replies
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Is my daughter a lesbian? She's 12. She always had crushes on boys when she was little. She really liked certain boys. When she was around 10, she asked me if she was gay because she really liked, kind of loved a girl in her class. Last night she told me a made up story in which a character who she identified with had a crush on a girl in her class.

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01.12.09, 05:05 AM Flag ]
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  • Is my daughter a lesbian? She's 12. She always had crushes on boys when she was little. She really liked certain boys. When she was around 10, she asked me if she was gay because she really liked, kind of loved a girl in her class. Last night she told me a made up story in which a character who she identified with had a crush on a girl in her class.

    26 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    01.12.09, 05:05 AM Flag ]
    • Maybe. It might also be a phase. She's on the verge of puberty and exploring her sexuality in general. Hard to tell.

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      01.12.09, 05:06 AM Flag
      • How would you handle this phase? She bought boys shirts with holiday money. I don't know. I'm frightened.

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        01.12.09, 05:11 AM Flag
        • There's really nothing to be done except to support her and see where is goes. It is what it is. What were you think of doing? Don't be frightened. She might be gay. So it goes.

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          01.12.09, 05:14 AM Flag
          • Thanks for you reply. I'm afraid of her wearing boys clothes at this school. It has a high percentage of asian immigrants. I think I'm afraid she might be hurt. She's very shy.

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            01.12.09, 05:18 AM Flag
            • Please. Half of those Asian boys are gay.

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              01.12.09, 05:19 AM Flag
    • My husband and I are both straight, liberal, but I must admit, I'm a little afraid. I KNOW there's still so much prejudice against homosexuals. We're in the suburbs and I wonder if we should be thinking about perhaps another, more liberal environment.

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      01.12.09, 05:07 AM Flag
      • you and your husband should just relax. my older sister is gay and as liberal as my parents are, when she came out to them in college they FREAKED. it was horrible. then they started being ridiculously strict with me because they were afraid her sexuality would affect my reputation. it took YEARS before my sister was comfortable with them. they really drove her away.

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        01.12.09, 05:20 AM Flag
        • np: I think you are missing OR's point. I hope my kids are thin, smart, funny, disciplined, creative, athletic, etc. I want more than anything for them to be happy and for life to be easy. While being any one (or all) of above does not guarantee happiness it sure makes life easier. Included in that etc is being heterosexual. Recognizing that doesn't suggest you will be any less tolerant of your kids than you would be if they grow up to be short or dull.

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          01.12.09, 05:33 AM Flag
          • God, I'm glad you're not MY mom. Pity your kids, though. Sad.

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            01.12.09, 05:34 AM Flag
            • I'm ok with that.

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              01.12.09, 05:36 AM Flag
              • Too bad your kids won't be if they're less than "perfect".

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                01.12.09, 05:36 AM Flag
                • Yeah, that is what I said. Go sell crazy somewhere else.

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                  01.12.09, 05:51 AM Flag
                • Thank you for your reply. I am going to try to relax. If your daughter was in this situation would you expore other schools, neighborhoods that are more open then this stodgy little town on the north shore of long island?

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                  01.12.09, 05:52 AM Flag
                  • which town? we are thinking of moving to north shore of LI - I definitely dont want to be somewhere where the people are not accepting of others who are different

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                    01.13.09, 08:59 AM Flag
          • "thin" comes first????? you are sick.

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            01.12.09, 11:41 AM Flag
        • I appreciate this reply and I will take it to heart. thanks.

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          01.12.09, 05:54 AM Flag
    • That is awesome that your dd feels okay sharing this with you. you must be a good mom who she trusts to be able to be so open with you. BTW I actually once had a crush on a girl (I was in 8th grade) -- it was my first and last girl crush, maybe it's just a time of feeling new feelings and does not mean gay (although nothing wrong with being gay!!!)

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      01.12.09, 05:58 AM Flag
      • Thank you for the vote of confidence.:) I just want her to be happy and to have a fun and terrific life.

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        01.12.09, 07:12 AM Flag
        • Honestly, it blows me away b/c I would NEVER ever have shared anything like that with my mom, who was a good mom and loved me and tried NOT to be judgmental, but I think you guys just must have a nice, healthy open relationship!! As an aside, I dated a guy whose sister was gay and after the initial shock (I think she came out in college?) her parents really were fine with it and def. welcomed her and her partner and did not make a big deal out of it and the family is super close and it's very lovely to see.... So.... she's kind of young to be gay or straight or anything other than confused, but with parents like you guys, she's going to have a great life :)

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          01.12.09, 07:49 AM Flag
    • sometimes a crush of the same sex develops not because the child is gay but because the child admires the other child and wants to be like them.

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      01.12.09, 06:26 AM Flag
      • I think this might be part of it. thanks.

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        01.12.09, 07:10 AM Flag
      • totally agree.

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        01.12.09, 07:43 PM Flag
    • I'd think it would be better to be in a more liberal, tolerane atmosphere anyway! Who knows about your daughter. Gay is gay. There's nothing you can do about it and I think you'll love her just as much either way. But closed-mindedness is contagious. Get out!!

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      01.12.09, 10:13 AM Flag
    • I've always been a fan of what does not kill them will only make them stronger. It is truly amazing that your daughter at her age can come and tell you these things. Be thankful for that. Even if it will be tough (if she is gay), you be the one who supports her and helps her embrace herself as an individual and become that special person who always knew she was.

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      01.12.09, 01:50 PM Flag
      • That said, I was in love with a older sister figure when I was 13, and was much straighter then than I am now.

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        01.12.09, 01:52 PM Flag
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