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So, what does a baby nurse do for you if you're exclusively breastfeeding? TIA.
50 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]They can still do a lot. You can pump for one of the night feedings, and during the day they help change diapers, take the baby for a walk, keep an eye on the baby while you shower, teach you how to look after the baby. I let mine go after two days because I realized I wanted to hold, feed, change the baby and would rather have extra cleaning help. In the end I actually didn't get the cleaning help but next time I will!
[ Reply | Options ]A ton. We had nurse with both dc and I ebf-ed the whole time. The breast feeding is actually the easiest part of taking care of the baby--it's the changing and rocking and laundry and taking out for walks constantly and all of that which makes you exhausted and at wits end. I could go out and do stuff in the neighborhood in the early days and nurse would call if db was hungry. Also, I pumped and nurse did all night feedings after the first week, which was great. At dinner time, I was done for the day.
[ Reply | Options ]Ah, the beauty of outsourcing all those pesty little things you have to do for a baby.
[ Reply | Options ]np: i got called a martyr for refusing a baby nurse. my MIL contracted with one over my objections and I sent her home. I thought it was my job to do all those things....
[ Reply | Options ]Exactly my thoughts. It's my baby and I am responsible for it. It's not just some kind of appendix that can be taken care of by throwing money at it.
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for some feeding the baby at night is meaningful. It should be for everybody because it is a special time.
[ Reply | Options ]Wasn't meaningful for me. Was a huge drag and made me crazy with fatigue during the day. I didn't like the feeling. If some people do, that's great for them. Seeing as half the posts on UB are about getting dc to sleep through the night, I figure many people feel the same way I do about night feedings.
[ Reply | Options ]I feel ya, sister --- love the sanctimommies on UB. It's always the ones who "do sooooo much" for their kids who pass judgement on people who hire help --- smacks of old-fashioned jealousy to me. I has a baby nurse, because our families are far away and i needed the help. And i'm doing it again for #2. Happy mommy=happy baby. 'Nuff said.
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Whatever floats your boat. My dh and I were really happy, well-rested, and stress-free with the extra help both times around. Doing laundry and washing bottles and pushing a sleeping infant in a stroller endlessly don't strike me as bonding activities. And I strongly believe that dc sleep better if they are given bottles of bm in the nights instead of half-hearted breast feedings.
[ Reply | Options ]Ehh... (NP) there is no reason you have to do everything yourself if you can afford some help. They are so little. My Mom was a great Mom and she had a baby nurse in the 70s, it's not like I would know it if she hadn't told me.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: I do think it's a beautiful thing, actually, and something women have always done for each other. Historically, it was friends and family that handled all those "pesky little things" while the new mom rested and recovered. Unfortunately, many women don't have that available to them anymore, so they get paid help. The idea that one women, in isolation, should be able to provide 100% of what an infant needs and enjoy every second of it on top of that is, frankly, a myth, and a dangerous one.
[ Reply | Options ]Excuse me? Where is the husband? This is not the middle ages where men were men and women were at home doing woman things. Nowadays you should expect that your husband will help you out 150% with the baby. Yes, that means he will go to work sleep deprived etc. etc. It's temporary.
[ Reply | Options ]My dh works about 14 hours a day. There was only so much he could do to help. It is what it is. -OR
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And there are 24 hours that a friend, family member, doula or baby nurse can help BOTH the mother and the father.
[ Reply | Options ]So true. I don't understand all the venom against baby nurses when everyone says "oh that's so great," if it's a mother or a mil who is coming to help.
[ Reply | Options ]ah. we are going in circles. The point is that a man and a woman should be able to care for a baby w/o extra help. It's not like babies are such a strain. Sure, they won't let you sleep much but if you tag team with your husband each of you should get enough blocks of sleep.
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It doesn't matter if the father is 200% involved - if he's lucky, he has a week or two paternity leave and then he's back at work, which still leaves the mother on her own 8+ hours a day.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, and you cannot handle an infant for eight hours a day on your own? Really? When DH is home hand the infant over to him and take a couple of days of rest time. Then share the duties at night and have him take care of the baby once more while you get ready in the morning for the day.
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He gets a break just like I get a break. Taking care of a baby during his work hours is quite equivalent, no? I sure hope this is the 21st century and we kind of agree on this.
[ Reply | Options ]Depends on what your dh does for a living, doesn't it? Mine gets no down time during the day--no lunch break, nothing. There is plenty of downtime with a newborn if you aren't spending it all doing laundry and running errands. If there's help, everyone gets their downtime and their bonding time.
[ Reply | Options ]LOL. Does your DH know that you consider his job to be a vacation from his childcare responsiblities?
[ Reply | Options ]You got the wrong person here. DH and I shared our duties as much as we could. Nobody fled from anything.
[ Reply | Options ]And people that have help, whether it be family help or paid help, aren't "fleeing" from anything either!! My mother stayed with me for several weeks after each DC was born, and BOTH my DH and I considered her help an absolute gift. Could we have done it on our own? Sure. But we were happy not to have to. I would never judge anyone for wanting paid help if they don't have family available.
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I think NP's post applies to men too. Why should the couple in isolation have to provide 100% of what an infant needs and enjoy every second on top of it? Why can't DH get some sleep if a nurse and someone on maternity leave can feed the baby at night? The baby has financial needs too.
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people who hire baby nurses would have been slaveowners several generations ago.
[ Reply | Options ]I have a baby nurse because my dd has some special needs that require me to pump for every feeding rather than put her on my breast. With the pumping, the toddler, the meds and the fatigue, I was overwhelmed and getting depressed. So here is a big FU to people who think that I'd be a slave owner. I am doing what is best for my family at a critical juncture in our lives. I cannot believe that someone would pass judgment on my choice.
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UrbanBaby Asks...
When I ride in a taxi cab with my DC I:
- Use a carseat
- Buckle him/her in his/her own seat
- Hold him/her on my lap
- I'd never ride in a taxi with my DC, it's much too dangerous!
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